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Parenting

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Original poster

Argh, I was a crapola mother this evening.

18 replies

saggyhairyarse · 14/03/2009 20:53

Had a long day (up at 5.30 and then the usual hectic day with 3 kids), had them ready for bed at 7.30 but they didn't settle and I ended up shouting "I've had enouuuuuuuugh now, just go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" at 8.15, which is obviously conducive to sleep

Kids still fussing at 8.30 so, even more wound up, I shouted again and stamped around whilst ranting. So I put the fear of God into them and they are sleeping now.

Of course now I sit here swathed in guilt.

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Nabster · 14/03/2009 20:55

Give it up.

Kids were being sods.

Have a drink and get an early night.

minxthemanx · 14/03/2009 20:57

Er, no, don't feel swathed in guilt, you are normal! Likewise, DS2 up since 4 fecking 45 this morning, so I'm with you on the need to get them into bed and quiet. You are only human! I shout, most of my friends shout, and the only one who doesn't gives very sinister looks instead! Pour yourself a glass of wine and start again tomorrow.

KnickKnack · 14/03/2009 21:05

a glass or 2 of wine will ease the pain

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southeastastra · 14/03/2009 21:07

we all have to shout sometimes, you're only human

take deeep breathes

minxthemanx · 14/03/2009 21:10

Doesn't help when we're made to feel guilty for raising our voices - ie, Supernanny, & a member of my inlaws who once told me it was a sign of "losing control." Yeah, right.

Northernlurker · 14/03/2009 21:14

Yes shouting is a sign of losing control and so what? When they make parents on an assembly line, removing impatience, anger, irritation and exhaustion then doubtless we'll be able to keep control and not shout - till then don't feel guilty!

magnolia74 · 14/03/2009 21:20

Oh dear, i should feel guilty on a regular basis then

large glass of wine in my hand right now and there is no guilt

Original poster

saggyhairyarse · 14/03/2009 21:25

Cheers m'dears

I just hate that they have gone to bed with my shrieking in their ears.

My eldest is a sensitive soul and he said he felt like crying because he felt sad. I talked to him about what was making him sad and he didn't know and I explained why I was ranting but sometimes I think I don't handle things the best way considering how he is. Probably the run of the mill mothers guilt!

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minxthemanx · 14/03/2009 21:29

Saggy, i know what you mean. My DS1 is also very sensitive, and gets really upset every day when his teacher 'shouts' at people in the class - when I say, "but you're used to me shouting at you," he seems genuinely amazed. So obviously doesn't even notice. If I've had a snappynastyMum kind of day, I just try to have a big cuddle last thing at night, or first thing the next morning, and we all start again. Hey ho!

magnolia74 · 14/03/2009 21:31

one of my girls is a sensitive soul and often cuddles me for no reason saying she loves me

ok i need more wine.... the guilt is seeping through

MamaMaiasaura · 14/03/2009 21:34

saggy - i get huge guilt trips too when i've had a day like that. End up having long chat with sensitive ds1 to try and help.. I agree with the sentiments here though, is normal and kids have to understand at times we have limits. x x

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saggyhairyarse · 14/03/2009 21:35

Cheers mtm!

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ShannaraTiger · 14/03/2009 21:40

You're not alone. Every 'normal' parent shouts, in my opinion. Guilt is definately the worst result though, especially when Dd (5) says "Mummy you hurt my feelings when you shout"
Bottle of wine required here!

Dillydaydreamer · 14/03/2009 21:50

Aww, you are not alone. I have been like that this week as DH was away You can share my guilt swaddle
The added crapola bit is that my eldest is only 3 She started crying saying 'but I'm only a little girl' It calmed me right down and we ended up crying together.

Original poster

saggyhairyarse · 14/03/2009 21:52

Thanks for talking sense, I will stop beating myself up and start tucking into the Ben & Jerries

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Lonnie · 14/03/2009 23:32

You know what I try to look at it like this when I have had a day like that ..

we need to teach our children we are not perfect.. we need to teach them to cope with people loosing their temper.. we need to teach them that we have limits too and that we can get exhausted and tired and need time out..

and no being on the brink of exhaustion and screaming at the children isnt the most ideal way of showing them all this but as long as it is not an every day occurance I firmly believe that it does them good occationally to see that we can loose it (and I am not suggestion we should scream and rant just that it doesnt hurt if it is a rare occurance)

be truthful with them tomorrow.. tell them yoru sorry you shouted but you where tired and it was all to much liken it to a time where they lost their temper and allow them to grow and learn that mummy at times needs hugs and cuddles too.. (and a cup of coffee lol)

and then put it behind you.. and know deep down inside you it might happen again but 99% of the time you are an amazing wonderful loving mother and that is what your children will take with them into grown up life..

Original poster

saggyhairyarse · 15/03/2009 22:05

warm fuzzies

We had a talk in the morning about everything and there was minimal fussing tonight.

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Thankyouandgoodnight · 15/03/2009 22:07

Bedtime is non negotiable in this house. i am always astonished by the number of people who let their kids push all boundaries so that they're still up at god know what time. I applaud you!

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