To PT or not to PT, that is the question

[PinkTulips]

i need MN wisdom to tell me what to do, too baby brained to decide for myself

reasons to bite the bullet and get on with it include;

ds1 is 2.7 and big for his age

he's got great speech, can communicate really well and is desperate to start playschool where he has a place waiting for him as soon as he grasps the toilet

he's grow[ing/n] out of all his nappies and i'm damned if i'm spending money on more at this stage and i don't want to use even more disposables (we already need them most nights)

i have a baby in nappies as well and could do with only haveing the one in nappies before i lose the plot completely

reasons to wait;

ds2 is only a month old, not sure if it might be too close to his arrival? on top of which i'm bf-ing and don't fancy trying to deal with messy PTing while having such a young baby

ds1 really doesn't seem to 'get' how to go to the toilet. we've half heartedly tried a few times and he asks to go but can't go on the toilet, then pees/ poos on the floor or in his pants 2 mins later.. that said if i did it properly with rewards etc he might grasp it quick enough

he doesn't tell me when his napy is dirty, has to be asked.... although this is because he hates nappy changes, not that he doen't know iyswim

he's scared of the potty, the trainer seat and standing to pee so has to use the toilet seat and that means me having to hold him everytime.. again i'm bf-ing so would have to be juggling this with ds2

dd is 4 and still wets herself almost daily and needs a night nappy or she floods the bed.... i half think another one like her would be worse than him in nappies tbh

Having been where you're at wrt wetting older dc and newborn (agree it is a MAJOR pita) I would hold off until he's 3 and then have a proper 'go' at tt

By then he could well be ready to just 'get' it

Good luck

hmm, see i'm tempted to do that but then have attacks of guilt when all his little friends are learning and it only seems to take them a few days of pee and poo everywhere before they get it completely.

dd being such a nightmare for the last 2 years with wetting herself has made PT seem like such a huge PITA and a really long drawn out affair but other people don't seem to have much bother with it so maybe it's just her

i'm in same-ish situ, dd is 2.4 and mil is dropping huge hints about getting dd potty trained. i'm not doing it until summer (she can stay in garden and widdle away!) and then i want to do the hardcore 5 - 7 days by She Who Must Not Be Named. go with your gut feeling, if you think your ds isn't properly ready, don't do it as you'll just give yourself grief and get him wound up. my sis in law did her twins after 3 years and the nurse n the scubu centre said the later you leave it the better a grasp they'll get on it. just drop hints to the parents and n laws about needing nappies and howe much they cost in the meantime

IME until they can tell you they need a wee or poo, not that they have already done one, you won't get anywhere fast.

If he knows he needs a wee and can get to the loo in time, then it might be a case of trying all possible tactics eg bribery to get him there.

If he doesn't know he needs to go and is scared of the toilet or potty then it ain't gonna work. Leave him in pull-ups until he is ready and willing.

(By the way pre-school can't refuse to take him on the grounds that he isn't toilet trained).

lol... sadly the parents and outlaws came through in a big way money wise when ds2 was in scbu a few weeks ago, not to mention mol has just bought us blinds and my parents have given us money to sort our car so think hints would fall on (understandably) deaf ears

maybe being bloody uncomfortable in too tight nappies might spur him on

dare i ask what SWMNBN's 5 day method is? is it as scary as her other routines? i'm a bit of a lentilly type so don't thnk i could cope with anything too harsh and scary but 5 days does sound tempting!

sidge, think the laws about that may differ here, we're in ireland.

besides, the playschool teacher is my friend, i wouldn't inflict ds1's scary nappies on her

Ah I don't know about Ireland.

And that would be a real test of friendship!

HI Pinktulips, swmnbn's method i don't think is v scary, when my sis in law did it it was basically like sidge says, don't even bother trying until they can tell you they want a wee or poo, they've got recognise the feelings of a full baldder and bowel and tell you, rather than you nagging them eighty times an hour! when they know about wanting to wee and poo, you don't do pants in house and nappie out , you just stay under hopuse arrest for a few days, put them straight in pants or knickers and let them get used to wearing knickers and realising that they've gort to not just think 'i need a wee soon, but i'll build a big tower' but realise 'i need a wee, best tell mumn' it's just short and sweet. not barking mad or anything! sis in law said book was pretty cheap but you could see if your local library has it?

see, dd is 4 and still of the 'i need to pee but i'll play with this toy' variety..... asking her, sending her, begging her doesn't work.... maybe i should start by gina fording her and then worry about ds1

PT, I have posted a fair few times about my dd1 and her wetting phases

She trained easily and quickly at about 2.4

Regressed when dd2 arrived a few months later and then went on to have phases of wetting herself several times a day, despite knowing how to use the toilet by this stage. Would have long dry phases inbetween

This went on until she was about 4 (maybe a bit older)

IME the ONLY thing that worked was to ignore it. She sounds a lot like your dd, btw. She had to learn that it was more of a faff having to get changed out of wet clothes than to actually stop what she was doing for 2mins to use the toilet. I had to stop going on about it, nagging, praising, rewarding, bribing and all the rest of it... ignoring/no attention was the only thing that got her out of a wet phase

She's in Reception now and hasn't wet herself for AGES, so there is hope!

think we've ranted about our dd's on threads together before NNB

similar to your dd, dd was 2.2 training, trained ridiculously quickly, regressed when we moved house at 2.5 and ever since has wet herself all the time.

the killer is she's never wet herself at playschool, not once and when we do reward charts she stays dry for the rewards but as soon as we start to phase them out she starts again.