It doesn't get any bloody easier, I tell you

[Hassled]

I've spent a good part of the morning with my 6ft, 21 year old DS1 sobbing and sobbing because his girlfriend of the last 2 years has dumped him unceremoniously. He doesn't even understand why - he thought she was The One, they'd get married and that would be his future.

Completely selfishly, I'll miss her. I thought she'd be a great DIL - I liked her a lot. She was good for DS1, and part of the family. I want to ring her and ask her WTF she's playing at, but of course I can't.

And the really gutting thing for me is that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it - I can't kiss it better and make it all go away. When my younger DCs have problems I can usually at least try to resolve them; with this I just have to stand and watch. There's nothing I can say to make him feel better. DH has taken him to the pub to watch the football so he's probably crying into his pint now, and I just feel crap because I'm of no real help at all. The poor kid.

Oh the poor love. I am guessing this is the first time he has had his heart broken. Does he know why she has finished things?

oh no

you were there though. You listened and you were there with him when he was sobbing. I think that sounds like a wonderful mother.

how awful though. As a mother, I can't quite imagine my children having to go through that pain!

Thanks - he's had girlfriends before, but this was the first serious relationship. I know he'll get over it in time but it's going to be so hard for him. No, he doesn't seem to have any clue why she ended it - I don't know if there are things he's not telling me, IYSWIM.

If you are close to her could you tet or something and check she is okay?

Make him his favourite dinner! Listen when he talks and give him space when he needs it. Don't slag her off, cos that'll make him feel worse.
He will be strong enough to get through this, especially with such a loving family around him.
Sorry he's going through this.

I don't know, Nabster - that's what I want to do, but DS1 might not thank me. I have to be on his side. I might email her in a week or so. I don't want either of them to think I'm meddling, though.

oh yes, meddling not good I don't think. You do sound a wonderful loving family. It's just time isn't it. But awful to watch him go through it. I guess we all did at some point!

(football quite exciting so hopefully that's distracting him a bit!)

Maybe ask him if he would mind if you contacted her to check she was okay? His answer might shed light on it if you feel there is more to it.

It is a horrible thing to happen. I had my heart broken at 21 and still remember the pain of it.

Thanks all - you've been very kind .

you need to stay out ofit -d otn start texting her even though its tempting

you souond like a great mum - i would have hiddne all this form my parents

Hassled How is your son now?

Sorry - only just seen this. Thank you for asking - but he's lower than I think I've ever seen him. Lots more tears, etc. The GF changed her FB status so of course everyone knows - he says his mates have been really supportive.

I thought yesterday that there must have been some signs that she wasn't happy that he'd failed to spot, but that really doesn't seem to have been the case. He doesn't think there's anyone else. He's going back to the city where they're both at Uni tomorrow to stay with friends and try to see her - which I don't think is a good idea, but there you go. I just want to slap her at this stage.

Awww, poor old DS1

FWIW, I dread the day DS1 and his GF split up. They are both almost 17 and have been together for a year. They are totally inseperable and DS1 is head over heels. Very few first loves last forever (nobody I know is still with theirs) and I know that DS1 will be as distraught as your son, hassled.

Poor lad.

I feel so sorry for him, Hassled.

I still think of my first love and if I am completely honest have never fully got over him.

He needs time and do what ever he needs too.

Poor love.