Do you go the extra mile for your children or do you say its 'good enough'? Sorry, I think I'm ranting!

[frumpygrumpy]

I tend to go the extra mile and currently wondering if I am doing them no favours............ for example:

I have 3 children, an 8 year old and two 4.5 years olds. As I dropped the younger ones at nursery I realised I had left their dressing up outfits at home (for Comic Relief). I nipped home and went back with the outfits.

I'm having some problems with DT2 atm as he is being really clingy about everything and never wants me to leave him. I am working hard at the problem (my oldest daughter was like this and we worked our way through it). He was crying when I dropped him, I quickly kissed him and I said I was off to get the costumes and that I'd be back in 15minutes and that we'd have a hug and kiss and say cheerio then.

When I returned the nursery girls said he was all settled and that I should not see him because it would just set him off again. They said the kids weren't even bothered about the costumes. I explained that I had told him I would see him to say goodbye when I came back, the girls mumped and moaned a bit and said it was up to me.......and I let myself be persuaded.

I'm angry at myself because I should have gone with my gut feeling. I want him to face saying goodbye, he has to get comfort with that. I don't want to sneak around not upsetting him. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.

Or maybe I'm just going too far. Maybe I need to stop going the extra mile and trying so hard.

Sorry, I don't even think I need you guys to waste your life with this.........I think I just needed to let off steam and send it into the ether.

I'm not even sure what my point is

im with nickschick on this one .I rather my dc feel they could talk to me about something then we can discuss it and yes if it means agreeing teacher was in the wrong so be it and i would encourage my dc to quitely talk to teacher and yep if needs would have quiet word myself.

is not wrong for dc to learn that all adults make mistakes and that said adult should apoligse for behaviour to child be they 5 or 15..

but i think there is a really important lesson in parent and child both agreeing that the punishment is unfair and yet agreeing NOT to do anything about it. because sometimes life is unfair. that's a lesson that will serve them well in their work life, by which time a note from their mum will have the opposite effect intended.

Brilliant post, Aitch.

but your then setting example of that when adults are wrong that they dont need to apolgise so hey if adults dont need to why should I

if i am in the wrong I apolgise to my dc

does your company MD apologise to you if they wrongly blame you for something? no. they pocket their millions and you suck it up.

children and adults aren't peers. kids have to learn that sometimes things are 'just cos'.

I think that things have gone all out of proportion here - this was a glib comment made in a jokey way that seems to have detracted from the thread(such is the m.n way) however for the vast majority of the time I do accept the rules of school and quite often privately disagree with whats gone on but there does come a time when my parental responsibility kicks in.