How long did you take to bond with your baby?

[Hero76]

DS is 2.5 weeks old and I love him a lot and find him gorgeous, but I don't feel that overwhelming rush like being knocked over by a steam train that other mothers describe when they meet their babies - the whole tigress idea.
DP certainly feels that way - is mad about his son.
Am worried there is something wrong with me (although sleep deprivation may be somewhat to blame and the feeling of responsibility for this tiny life) - did anyone else take some time before the huge love kicked in?

ds 1 about 12 -14 months (not joking) didn't understand what other mums were talking about. Loved him but didn't get the rush others talked about. Love him like a lioness now.

Ds 2 as soon as he was born, the you'd-better-give-me-my-baby-now-or-i'll-hunt-you-down sort of love. Overwhelming and lovely.

Don't worry, it'll come, he'll do something that will make your heart nealry burst out of your chest...ds 1 was when he had his feet measured!

this is all really interesting - and thank you; is making me feel a lot better - was feeling a bit down about it and wondering what I was doing wrong.
Is weird how people's expereinces are so different.
i really want to feel that rush - and guess i just have to wait.

For me, it took a few hours. I felt strangely unemotional when he was born... more overwhelmed, if you will...

But, I'd say a few hours later (maybe 10?), it just HIT me... Thunderbolt city

I really don't think there is a right answer. Much depends (AFAIAC) on the birth itself. One friend of mine took months to bond with her little one, because of the traumatic birth and aftercare

ds instant.

dd a good six months or so.I just couldn't "Read" her like I could ds.She was refluxy and unsettled and I knew instinctively that all wasn't well even though no one believed me at first.She has special needs.I love her so much now though.She is a real kissy huggy little person

It will happen,some just take longer than others

Several months for me. I just couldn't get my head around the fact she was mine and was a permanent fixture. It was really like starting out with a little stranger and getting to know them, not helped by her not aking to breastfeeding, colic, and resulting PND. I also think the fact I had a caesarean came into it. I felt there was a missing link between her being inside me and being 'there', and couldn't bring myself to use the phrase 'given birth' because I felt she'd just been cut out of me, even though I went through 24 hours of labour first. She's 4.6 now and I still struggle a bit with that.

I have one photo that I took when she was about 4/5 months, and I distinctly remember that being the first one I looked at and felt an overwhelming rush of 'Wow - that's my daughter!'. Having her baptised at 7 months kind of crystallised things for me, although obviously that's a very personal thing to me & DH.

I never had that rush of love. But we bonded instantly without it - looking at him nestling in my arms was like meeting someone very dear who I had known for a long time but never seen (der, obvious I suppose) so there was no sudden whoosh of love, it was just there.

Not sure this makes a lot of sense, it didn't make much to me at the time but I knew I loved him without being floored by the feeling - and I had such trouble putting him down! I didn't for hours. He slept in the crook of my arm, next to me on the bed and I watched him for ages (couldn't sleep by then) just getting to know his face.

He is 15mo now and I sometimes still see him as though for the first time and think "aren't you lovely, where did you come from, you're a whole separate little person, aren't you!" rather than just DS.

12 months. I thought he was cute and I liked him and really wanted to feel it but I felt more responsibility than anything. Don't stress about it, it will come. Are you getting enough sleep? That is the one thing that really helped us, Ds started sleeping through at 12m and then the world looks a better place.

Thumbwitch... I do that with DS now - He's 9 months and I look at him sometimes and think 'You are a little boy now... when did that happen?' [GRIN]

It took a good 3 or 4 months to get that real rush. DH had it instantly.
When I first brought her home from hospital I just saw her a responsibility, I think in hindsight I cared more for the cats. PND was not a good thing.
Once the depression lifted it was amazing.
The bond will come, let your hormones settle, give yourself time to recover from the birth, once you get some more sleep the bond will be there.

Gradual with dd- prob abot 3 months. I mean I loved her instanly but tbh was so overwhelmed by the sheer slog of it all.

Straight away - overwhelming feeling - though over time it has lost the edge of obsession it had when she was a newborn, and becoming a deeper love and attachment as I got to know my LO.