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Dummy battles - somebody please either give me a kick up the bum or suggest a new way forward.

7 replies

robino · 10/03/2009 08:36

DD1 (2.2)has really only had one love in her life - her dummy (although she has latterly added a raggy blanket to this). From the age of 3 weeks when, after being used as a dummy myself for 4 hours solid I gave her one, she has been pretty much surgically attached. I made no fuss about it til she turned two because her little sister was born when she was 17 months old and whenever I was BF she seemed to want the comfort and was happy to leave me and DD2 to feed.

We'd made quite a lot of headway after christmas in her not having it unless she was napping, in the car or sleeping. A blanket ban didn't seem to work but letting her have it for 5 mins then asking her to take it out, distracting her, then hiding it worked a treat. Then she started getting some molars through, was in a lot of pain, thoroughly miserable and I let her have it as and when she required it. I know. Own fault.

I am now trying again to have it for nap and sleep only. And failing. And I know really that she does have to reduce it's use because she's only just starting to talk.

So this morning she put it in my drawer (quite happily)and came downstairs. Straight after breakfast she started whinging about it - I'm normally quite good at distraction but failed miserably, even cbeebies didn't work. She went upstairs and helped herself to it. So I told her that if she wanted it she would have to stay upstairs. She did for half an hour. Then she started getting up to mischief so I told her she could have it in her cot. She's up there crying half an hour later because she won't give it up but doesn't want to be in her cot.

We're having enough sleep issues with DD2 at the mo so don't want to create bad feelings for DD1 regarding her cot and her room.

I'm at a loss. Don't want to go give up the dummy completely - don't feel she's quite old enough. Somebody remind me I'm the mum and need to be mean..........

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
robino · 10/03/2009 08:43

I should add that both DDs have rotten colds and coughs at the moment and we're all sleeping badly (or worse than normal anyway). Maybe this isn't the week to start being tough again. I just hate the ruddy thing!

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rubyslippers · 10/03/2009 08:45

i would let her have the dummies - when she is older - say 3 the dummy fairy can take them away and leave a lovely dolly/toy in their place

2.2 is not that old - they all need a comforter of sorts

if she is also snotty and out of sorts she will need it more than ever

SniffyHock · 10/03/2009 08:47

Give yourself a break and do it when you're all well (does that ever happen??)
I cut a hole in DD's and it worked like magic - in her eyes I hadn't taken it away it had just been broken. I left it with her for 3 nights then quietly took it away.
Worth a try? (You just put a small snip down the middle)

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ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 10/03/2009 09:25

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chipkid · 10/03/2009 09:32

My dd had her dummy until she was 3 and a half. I was quite strict in only allowing it for nap times and bedtime. She never took it out with her. Her front teeth used to protrude, a real open bite and then she started to get a red mark where the top of the dummy was pressed against her lips. In the summer we gave them to the dodi fairy. She was ready and never asked for it again. It was painless. However had we gone down this route earlier it would have been a nightmare.

Agree with the others-leave it for now. Try and set some rules around her use of it and stick to them but don't take them away until she is ready and you are in a position to be strong about it.

Incidentally-my DD now has beautiful straight teeth-after she stopped her dummy use the teeth moved into the correct position.

hobbgoblin · 10/03/2009 09:36

Robino, you are trying your best to do the best in terms of her health and development. Could you consider that her speech and dental development are of equal importance to her emotional development and as such allow her to have it until she no longer needs it?

robino · 10/03/2009 12:26

You're all right. I was of the same opinion but then the HV at her 2 year check put seeds of doubt in my mind. Don't normally listen to them - why I decided to this time is beyond me!

I brought her down with it, waited til she was fairly content, suggested she put it down and she did. Had a good hour and a half dummy free. The reason she didn't yesterday is obviously because she was feeling more poorly.

Thank you for vindicating me! I was half expecting a "stand up for yourself woman, you're the adult around here" bollocking!

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