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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Working full time? How do you make it work for you?

33 replies

BriansAmazingBeard · 09/03/2009 21:37

I never thought i would go back to work, we even sold our second car, but now i am missing work and struggling with the choice,

I agreed to go back 2 days but a brilliant chance has come up for me to return full time,

i miss work, i find being at home full time a drain i do, i am just being honest...

so, do i take the chance? do i go back and find myself again, i miss adult chat, i miss being me...

i dont think i will miss dd (for a day at a time) i guess i wont know this till i return full time,

she is a strong, independant little lady, she will manage without me 24/7 i am sure,

how do you make it work? do you have 'rules' in your house?

thankyou for any/all advice

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 10/03/2009 16:22

don't worry brian... you're sure to feel guilty soon enough....

Original poster

BriansAmazingBeard · 10/03/2009 18:23

when do you think it will kick in controlfreaky?

OP posts:

Original poster

BriansAmazingBeard · 10/03/2009 22:33

I turn into "shouty" mummy...

lol, me too

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foxinsocks · 10/03/2009 22:37

I find it tiring. Whoever said they don't sit down till 9pm...that's what I find mainly. I walk through the door at around 7ish, then speak to the kids before they go to bed, cook and then collapse!

I found it easier (emotionally) working full time when mine were babies. Now that they are fully grown people, I find I actually want to be there more and they can actually spell out how much they miss you (which can be hard).

However, practically, it has got easier as they've got older as they can do so much more themselves.

Original poster

BriansAmazingBeard · 10/03/2009 22:41

thanks fox,

another thing to think about, age.

dp is fab and does most of what is needed when i am at work (not quite to my standards but you know, it gets done, no one goes hungry or dirty )

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 10/03/2009 22:46

you might find it easier that she is looked after by dp when you are at work.

What's so very very important, probably the most important thing about full time working, is peace of mind! If you can't go to work knowing your child/children are being looked after properly, then it is impossible imo. It becomes incredibly stressful to worry about things at work whilst having the constant worry about the childcare.

So if you have that sorted, you are probably most of the way there .

Twinklemegan · 10/03/2009 22:53

BAB - I went back to work full time when DS was 5 months. I had to, there was no choice as DH's work meant being away for days and weeks at a time which was not an option for us. So for the past 2 years I've been at work full time and DH has looked after DS, with a little p/t paid work thrown in.

I think whether you feel guilty, and how guilty, will depend firstly on how happy you are with the arrangements for your DD's care, and secondly how much you enjoy your job. When I first went back to work I almost "invented" guilt as an excuse for hating going to work, when actually I just hated the job full stop. Now I have a job I love and I know that DS is happy and I really don't feel guilty at all. We also have really good childcare for the days that DH is working.

Yes, sometimes I feel like I need to clone myself about 5 times, but I think that's just par for the course of being a parent, working or not. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

smilesattheweekend · 10/03/2009 22:58

I had ds after years of trying and thought I would never want to go back to work. Was going to sort out 3 days a week but got made redundant just before mat leave started. I had DS and when he was about 4 mths couldn't wait to get back to work. I put him in nursery for 4 days a week when he was 6 mths old. After a while I got a great opportunity for a really well paid job but it had to be full time with more travelling, I took it and managed. Unfortunately I had no alternative to nursery as my mum was nursing my father who was really ill. I loved going back to work and although I felt guilty at first, I felt a better mum, the time I had with DS was more quality time, whereas had I been at home with him I would have just been bored and found it monotonous (I am in no way saying every SAHM feels like this). I have just had a lovely DD and now I can't imagine anything worse than going back to work! Go with your heart - whatever happens people judge you whether you work or stay at home, you have to do what is right for you and your family. By the way, my DS is the most loving kid and being with other kids has been good for him, in fact, we have just had parents evening and he is the brightest kid in the class. Don't feel judged and don't feel you will be doing you child an injustice by not being there you will just make the most of your time at home. Sorry if this seems a bit long. X

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