6 yr old girl wants to be on her own all the time

[mumirish]

hi have a 6yr girl who wants to be on her own at home and in school. Teacher called me in last week to say that she is worried about her social skills. Does not want to take part in any activities in class room and wouldn't play with any of her friends. Losing friends fast.We have 23 month old girl as well. We have both talked to our daughter about this problem and she says i spend all my time with sister and not her. I think i don't. 6yr old very angry behaviour towards me, and this morning hit and badly brusied my mother while mining her. Please help!

Bumping for you, mumirish - you must be very worried.

I guess if she feels you spend time with your younger DD and not with her then there is a problem regardless of whether or not its true. She's feeling left out.

Can you get someone to look after your DD2 for a few hours while you do something with DD1. Or try and have time with DD1 while DD2 is napping or has gone to bed.

If she has friends over after school for tea will she play then? If so try and get friends to come over.

Why was your mother minding her this morning?

Do you do anything with dd1 separate from dd2? It must be hard on her if you don't. Even if you don't think you spend more time with dd2, if you spend all your time with both of them it will feel like that to dd1 as dd2 obviously requires more attention than a 6 yr old.

I would try and get some one on one time with her. My dd is 4, my ds is 9 mo and I really do spend so much time just holding ds, feeding him, trying to keep him from munching everything in sight. It is a different kind of attention that an older child needs but it is neverending, it's being attentive more than anything, and while your dd won't necessarily need or want that kind of attention, what she will see is your time and energy being spent on your younger one. It's a hard balance to make.

We were out today and dd was busy with some craft things while I was sat at the next table with ds. I was still talking to her, listening and watching what she was doing, but physically I was with ds, chasing after him on the floor, that kind of thing.

I let dd stay up as a special treat one day a week after ds has gone down to bed, and she picks a video to watch and we snuggle under a blanket with a bowl of popcorn. It's only an extra hour or so before bed but it does make a difference I think. What kind of things did you do together before your second one came along? Could you maybe organise your mum to have the little one for a day while you two go and do something special? Maybe let dd choose what she would liek to do? I know my dd would chose to go to the cinema and then for a milkshake afterwards.

My mum was minding them because i had a night out with the girls and didn,t get home till 3am! Had grt night but paining for it all week. My mum stayed over night and was trying to let me have a sleep in! Anyway we do the saturday night movie with popcorn, but have not brought her out on her own to do anything special. I will try this. second child is very demanding but lovable. oldest child does have friends over to play and has a great time. I think i will have to organise my time with her better and make it our special time. Thanks for all your comments. It is great to have this back up.