dd 3.5 needs nap - can't get to sleep in afternoon any more

[Annabel1]

dd is challenging one way or another in the afternoons. She is great in the mornings, listens well, jolly, plays nicely, good concentration etc. In the afternoon it is very difficult to do nice things or play with other children because she seems so tired. Will cry a lot if things don't go her way, finds sharing challenging,grumpy, flits from one thing to another.
Until last summer (2.10) most days would have nap in bed PM, went to bed eight thirty so late ish but worth it for nice afternoon. Now, if timed right she'll have nap in car, after which she is great company again but won't in the house. Has quiet time on sofa or in bed (either with or without me) but this doesn't seem to help her afterwards. She has started pre school and I wonder if it's too much to ever see children in the afternoons. Or maybe because discipline too lax in other parts of day, it becomes extreme when tired.
Any suggestions? On how long it will take before she can cope without nap? Or how to get her to take one again in the house? Or lovely activities for tired grumpy children? And if she misbehaves cos she's tired do I treat it exactly the same or give some leeway?

I think often when they transition from naps to no naps there is a difficult spell of up to 6 mo like this tbh. Dd stopped napping about 2.5ish but for 6 mo would nap every second or third day and get crabby in the afternoons but up too late if she napped too often or too late. Now (3.6) still usually has a quiet time after lunch.

It sounds like she would do better if she went to bed earlier and had a longer night - would that be worth a try do you think? Her bed time sounds late for that age especially if she's not napping in the day. How about 7pm?

Thanks - you answered my question indirectly - because with no nap she's in bed asleep by six thirty, seven at the latest, it's only with the occasional car nap that it's later. She has been sleeping til seven fifteen the past few mornings so maybe it's starting to even out. We'll see what this afternoon brings - we have playdate with a friend she usually gets on well with. Otherwise will carry on making the afternoons as undemanding as possible until we get past it.

In answer to the last question in your post - you shouldn't give any leeway "because she's tired" - although you might know that being tired is the reason, you don't want to use being tired as an excuse.

oh thanks for that too - hadn't been but was feeling perhaps I should.