how to talk to an 8 yr old about his bits and pieces help

[missymoo2411]

my 8yr old ds has started to notice his body parts(penis)getting erected and then soft im not sure how to put it into words tto tell him as i dont want to go into the whole sexual side of it yet or at least not too much detail would be very grate ful off ur help

i do want him to know but in a way that isnt too graphic do u know off a good book for him

My advice would be to tell him if he asks... if he's not asking why it happens, then dont tell him. When he's ready to know (or when he's been told something ridiculous at school) he will ask you.

We have just bought 'What's happening to me;boys? Alex Firth', for our 8 yr old, but have not given it to him, just using it to get an idea of how to put things to him when he asks.

It's so tricky though isn't it, not giving too much info but making sure they know what they need to.Feel like I'm feeling my way in the dark!

There is no such thing as too much information. If he asks you why it's happening, then tell him.

Oh gosh my DS has been aware that his willy goes hard then soft for quite a number of years he is now 7 he knows its absolutely normal as I have told him its his body practicing for when he is an adult.

I was going to say that normalLL, DS is only four and we've had occasional questions and conversations about stiff willies for at least a year already. I think matter of fact's and not embarrassed at all is best. It's a willy and that's what it does. Not a big deal is it?

I bought my son a fabulous book at Christmas called "Living with a willy" by Nick Fisher. It's aimed at slightly older kids getting nearer puberty, but it's written fantastically and it's hilarious. It's less than a fiver to buy, it could be worth your while picking it up and reading it yourself? That way you can decide whether your son would cope well with it, and if you still think he's a little young you have loads of edumacation on the matter?

For what it's worth, I've always been very open with my son and been honest when he answers any questions about sex/bodies etc but I still think it's a massive set of concepts to get your head around when you're that age. My son was fully prepped with all the facts of life stuff before he went to school because I didn't want him getting a playground miseducation but there's still things he doesn't quite get.

Good luck! I know it can be a cringeworth experience getting into these chats but it'll be so worth it when he feels he can talk to you as a teenager

Hi missy my DS is 8 as well and I dont fancy having that conversation with him either! He doesnt really ask many questions about his willy (except when he was little, he told me he had a bone in it when it was hard!) but I have been getting the "Where do babies come from"? questions. I always worry about what I will say to him and how far do you go, do you give them details or just the basic picture? Hes so inquisitive, I just know that if the conversation starts it will never finish! Good luck

Oh lord - something else I don't get. Why don't people just tell their children all the "facts of life" stuff as they go along? You don't need to have the "big talk" - it just sort of happens in conversation.

When I started explaining the basics to my son, he kept asking more leading questions and the conversation flowed naturally from there.

Probably my own insecurities coming into it - someone told me about periods when I was 8 and I cried for a week solid, refusing to go back to school because I thought you started bleeding when you turned 10 and didn't stop again until you died. That's the kind of misinformation that I didn't want my kids to face at school.

Today my DS age 7 and DD were arguing about whether the balls contained the egg or the seed. DS got it right, but there was some confusion for a moment when DS age 5 thought that mummy's baby lived in the balls (peanuts) until it was born.

I have gone for total honesty from day dot, in an informal factual and basic way and we are all very comfortable talking about bodies. DS age 7 does not like one bit to be seen naked but he is totally fine talking to me about his willy, if it hurts or itches. DS age 5 will tell me every time his willy goes big and usually asks me why. He has erections all the time and it gets on his nerves I think.

I'd really recommend talking about all this stuff as early as possible. There is nothing to fear in doing so so long as you stick to simple terms.

Um, doesn't the penis go hard to allow bloodflow/nutrients to the penis? I thought that was one of the reasons why men get erections in the night etc.
Simple Biology - doesn't have to be sexual.

Is that right, purpleduck? I've never heard that before! Surely there is blood flowing through the penis even if it's floppy. Otherwise surely it would drop off!

thanks guys and he doesnt really ask questioms yet but i think that answer the queations as they come is a great idea and the books 2 i dont have a problem him nowing the bio stuff its just all the other stuff which comes with it ie abuse ,ect i mean he knows that no one touches him down ther and only me or his dad if he is soar down below oh and a doctor and only if we r there he knowa about babys as he is the eldest off 4 it was really just how to put it across thats all .... thanx

But you don't want all his knowledge about sexual stuff to be about abuse and scary stuff, do you? He's going to be having his own feelings and they need to be nice too.

I've just told my ds's 7 +9 all the facts of life. It was much easier and more natural than I thought. It was when the 13yr old father was in the news, which gave us a good starting point. I recommend answering questions honestly now, it really won't be long before they are approaching puberty.

I got a really helpful 'pink' book from Usborne which was a really good book to share with my DD age 9, when the GP told me she was going through puberty! I am pretty sure they do a 'blue' book too?

hi saint no i dont want him to no the bad stuff i want to just be able to tell him in away he can understand thats all thanx ..