Good reasons for having new baby v not so good ones!

[Annabel1]

eg "I will feel lonely when dc at school/preschool" - not good reason!
"I will not be able to buy a lovely new cashmere baby blanket" not good reason
"I love newborns" not good (enough!) reason
Can't think of any good ones at the moment but ds is only four months!

Huh? Do you want us to give you good reasons for having another baby? Surely whether a reason is good enough or not is up to how you feel about a whole host of things?

Um

Good reason
Because I want one

Bad reason
Because someone else wants me to have one

Why did you have your DS? Surely it all boils down to whether you want a baby or not?

(I'm not sure, actually, that "I want a new baby" is a good reason. "I want another child", yes. I'd love to have another baby, with their cute little noses and those lovely snuffly faces they make and the smell of the top of their heads (etc., etc.) but I'm far from convinced that I want to have a whole new person in the family for ever and ever.)

Personally, I think it's a good idea to have gone through your first episode of feeling broody and come out the other side, so that you can tell the difference between "feeling broody" and "wanting another child". And to try to think about it in longer-term ways -- so think about whether your family with and without another child in five, ten, fifteen, twenty years rather than thinking about your family with and without a baby in one or two years.

i think what PortandLemon said is true - babies unfortunately/fortunately turn into children and teenagers!

So wanting a baby is different from wanting another child.

I want another baby (ds is 17months) but not necessarily another child, so am trying to 'baby'ds as long as possible! Looking forward long term, personally I think my family is big enough, (2dc) and practically it is going to work for us when they are say, 8 and 10 or 14 and 16 etc.

With your son only being 4 months, you have a better chance of hanging on to the baby years than me! Alternatively, here's hoping you have a niece or nephew soon!

Ds tried to feed himself using a fork tonight and I was practically shouting 'no!'
I love my baby boy and wish he would stay one forever (photos in profile btw)

Bad reasons:

• babies are so cute, let's have another
• it'll be a good excuse to upgrade the car
• erm, what shall I do with all these old baby clothes? Let's put a new baby in them!
• we still haven't got enough use out of that papoose

Good reasons:

• because your family will be complete with a third child/person

I think I really know the answer - the completion thing- and that happened with ds. I felt our fanily was right just after he was born and that a third child for us would be a lovely addition but not a filling of a gap. Just can't bear to think of baby days being over - but however many we had there would always be an end point. Need to get distance goggles on. DS now teething so that helps in a way! Thanks for acknowledgeing the wanting to hang onto the baby years - won't waste them deliberating a third esp when it's too soon anyway!

My good reason - because the pregnancy test yesterday was positive. Wasn't planned but so be it!

Congratulations Clemette!

Clemette congratulations!!!! our ds3 was unplanned but hes adored .

Oh - fantastic! None of the above applies to surprises. I think the best things can sometimes be the ones beyond your control - I never planned our age gap but it's working well for us - no way would I have been ready when we planned.

But Brora is having a sale

What if you want another child but you can't actually face the idea of another baby/toddler.

Not saying I feel like this really, just wondering?

Don't get me wrong, I love babies (but i couldn't eat a whole one ....

just try a swap with someone who doesn't 'do' children but 'wants' another baby...

Swap back when the time is right
Suits everyone...

Justneedsomesleep - your name says it all!

Seriously, I have enjoyed all of it so far (more or less), but sleep deprivation was a HUGE one for me, and that alone (oh, and tantrums, now I come to think of it), is enough to put me off.

hmm - sleep deprivation - could that be the reason for the need for lots of deep breaths and a certain lack of patience today? Must remember babies with less rose tinting when considering another!