Do I pay for parenting advice - dilemma!

[preggersneveragain]

Long story, but DD has had major sleep issues since about 4m.o (now almost 1 year)and it's been really tough going. When I saw an advert for a 'sleep clinic' at our local soft play,we signed up.

I paid #25 for 40mins. The woman was running late, the place was heaving, and it was difficult to hold a conversation. But, we came away with a lot of advice, some of which we implemented and some of which we didn't because I didn't feel it was right for us. It definately helped, and DD did a lot better for a couple of months before things gradually started going down-hill again.

Despite mixed feelings about the whole experience, by now I was back at work and things had got so bad I was ready to try anything so i got back in touch. This time I opted for a #70 1hr telephone conversation, which we agreed I could split into 2-3 sesssions. It was a lot of money for us, but getting to the 'clinic' isn't easy with no car and the clinic times didn't suit DD's routine.

The new advice was to move from 2 daytime naps to 1. I agreed but said we would hold off until the following weekend DD is at nursery 3 days p.w). Meanwhile, for no apparent reason, DD suddenly starts sleeping better herself, and over the space of a week is practically sleeping through for almost the first time ever

I got back in touch by email and asked to defer our follow up session by one week. But, when I do phone back, (and things had relapsed a bit here, so we were really ready for the help again) I just got an answer machine. I left our no. and waited in, but she didn't call back.

Two days later she emailed, (I picked it up a day after that) to say the no. had been unobtainable. But, she she also had my mobile no. (and used that successfully before) and I have no record of any missed calls or any texts on that.

In reply to her email I said we no longer needed advice as DD was sleeping great again, and offered to come to 'an arrangement' over the half hour session we'd already had. She has replied to say she only charges by the hour and wants the full #70. Do I pay up? Looking back, I feel it is #70 for nothing, as we didn't implement the advice and with hindsight don't think it would have been the 'right' advice for us.

Has anyone else paid for parenting advice, and do you feel you got value for money?

I've paid for specific advice & training from (on the whole- world) experts in my son's disability.

But these are professionally run, and actually in the main a lot cheaper than you have paid! They have all been very good.

In your shoes I would pay £35 stating that you had tried to keep your deferred appointment at the agreed time and that she had been unavailable. Therefore you are just paying for the service she provided.

Although it might depend on what you signed. If you you signed an agreement might be worth checking in the legal bit of this board - plenty of lawyers on here.

I think you at least need to pay half, whether you implemented the advice or not was up to you and not her problem.

Thanks ladies - yes, I have absolutely no issue with paying half, as like LJLB says, my choice not to implement the advice we received first off. However, she has said she wants the full amount.

I may have signed something last year when we visited the 'clinic' - but it was a verbal agreement only this time around over the telephone sessions.

And yes RR - we had tried MN !!

I should also point out that DD is our second child, so we weren't expecting miracles of her!

This sounds very familiar ... is it Naturally Nurturing by any chance?

Hi justaphase, no - not Naturally Nurturing. Have you had a bad experience? How did you resolve yours?

I think you should pay - sorry.

'This time I opted for a #70 1hr telephone conversation, which we agreed I could split into 2-3 sesssions'

You chose to use her service. You knew the arrangement and knew the cost up front.

'Looking back, I feel it is #70 for nothing, as we didn't implement the advice and with hindsight don't think it would have been the 'right' advice for us. '

Hardly her fault.

Hi Jojay, its not so much that as the fact that we couldn't get in touch with her - at the agreed time - for the follow up session.

As a result we ended up working our own way through the problems we were having - and happily came out the other side.

I do see where you are coming from though...which is why I wanted to canvas views before deciding what to do.

Unfortunately I paid in advance for two sessions - two one-hour home visits, which came to about £200. We had the first session and we had a few useful bits of advice, but nothing ground-braking.

After the first session I had to chase up for the promissed plan of action and there were issues with (allegedly) lost mobile phone, mis-spelled e-mail addresses and e-mails that did not reach me for no apparent reason. So eventually I decided that I had no energy to chase the woman and dropped it. DS slept through maybe a month later on his own accord.

I would DEF pay at least half - you had haf the session after all.

But i think i would prob end up paying the full thing tbh, She doesn't know that you didn't implement the ideas and it was a verbal agreement after all that you would pay the £70.

So not very helpful AT ALL - sorry!

FWIW, DS3 still has sleep probs and he is 1 this week

I didn't realise you were calling at an agreed time and she didn't answer - that probably changes things a bit

I think you have to pay for the £35 worth of her time you already used. It is up to you whether you take up her advice, but you have to pay for it.

OK, consensus seems to be to pay up full amount....and I take the point about the verbal agreement etc, not using all the advice....

Justaphase - sounds like your experience much worse than mine. "Few useful bits of advice, but nothing ground-braking" - that pretty much sums up my experience too. It's not something I'd reccomend to anyone else in any case. The whole thing just leaves me feeling uneasy - I know I had reached such a low I would have tried pretty much anything

MoM - sending sleepy vibes your way (think I recognise you from one of the sleep boards); if our experience is anything to go by maybe your DS will start sleeping v. soon