followed through with a consequence.....but how do i deal with the aftermath?

[queenrollo]

ds is 3. Pushes the boundaries a little, but is generally a very good boy and doesn't need much persuasion to be good.

This evening he has been hard work. He is allowed to play on my laptop while i cook dinner, but knows he has to turn it off when food is ready. Dp came in to sort the laptop out and ds kicked him when he realised he really did have to turn it off. Apology was requested and given. Then dp took a flag off the sofa and started to fold it ready to take up to ds room, ds started pulling at it to which dp asked him to let go and explained what he was doing. Ds refused to let go and became quite aggressive so he was given a warning that the flag would go in the kitchen bin. He cried and demanded it back so we agreed if he ate his dinner with no messing about he could have it back. He was ok for a while but then started getting stroppy again.....he went to throw a floor cushion and was told that if he did throw it the flag would go in the outside bin, and that once it was there then he didn't get it back. He threw the cushion (after some thought) and so flag is in the outside bin.

Now i have a very remorseful child.....who is heartbroken and sobbing. I'm finding it very hard indeed to deal with seeing him so upset. I have to put him to bed soon and don't fancy my chances of it being easy tonight as he is repeatedly asking for his flag back with promises of 'i won't throw the cushion ever again' and 'i'm sorry, i will be a good boy'........

I can't go and get the flag out of the bin.....i told him once it went in there that was it. But how do i move forward from this? He has just said to me......'but i've said two sorrys now, please mummy can i have it back?'

what do i do......i don't want my little boy to be upset but i also don't want to make a rod for my own back?

Well i suppose the good thing is that he is an angel at school.

Its because he gets bored, at nursery he has several tables layed out for him to wander about and play with as he wishes, plus there are quite a few staff and not alot of children. They have the space/time and energy for him to do what he likes (within reason) and i simply cannot do that at home not with DS2 here as well!

I find the sly winding people up the annoying thing, my niece is his age and she spends alot of time here and i have watched him go to her and quietly say 'A im having sweeties and cakes for lunch, your not!' in that kind of sing song voice and he does it becuase he knows she will scream bloddy murder about it!

He does this to his brother as well and he will try his hardest to wind us adults up to. Very irritating.

well i didn't hear anymore about the flag, so i think maybe he's learned his lesson. Have spoken to his dad and we've agreed that i'm going to retrieve the flag, it will be cleaned and packed away and next weekend i will tell ds if he wants a 'new flag' then he can do little jobs to earn one, and when he's filled his chart he can have the flag.

I've obverved with my DS that a long spell of computer time can turn him into a real horror afterwards for some reason. Not being critical of you at all for letting him on the laptop, but I'm just passing on what I've found myself.

That sounds a sensible way forward. He sounds a lovely little boy.