help needed please........the most stubborn little girl in the world!!!!

[blushingm]

My dd is 2.8 and very very stubborn. I've been trying to potty train her as i thought she was ready but she just will not do it.

I ask her and ask her - 'do you need a wee?' 'Remember wee wee in the potty' tell mummy when you need a wee wee' and 'no wee in pants - it goes in the potty' but se's still run upstairs and wee on her bedroom carpet. We have a potty up there and down stairs and she always manages to get upstairs and usually in the wardrobe before she goes so i think she is perfectly aware of the sensation and can hold it for a bit too. She then comes downstairs and 'pants wet - need all clean pants!' use the toilet etc but she will not do it herself

She'll come in the toilet when i go and even her cm lets her come to the toilet to see her other mindee (2.9 yo)

I think she's just stubborn but I'm at a loss as to how to go forward and get her out of nappies

I'd leave it for a month or so - if she's able to do it but just being stubborn then just let it go for a while. No need to make it into an issue or battleground. If you show her you're not bothered about it she may well just get on with it.

Do you think you are overasking her about going to the toilet - my dd was practically rolling her eyes at me when she was potty training as she got so bored of me asking.

thanks boot - you could be right - maybe i am over asking her - i bet that can be really annoying for her!!!

I'll try leaving it and not mentioning for a bit and see if she gets interested

My DD is also 2.8 and was exactly like this. The only thing that worked for us was not potty training as such, just putting her in knickers and letting her get on with it. No reward charts, no asking if she needed to go, no fanfare for getting it right or wrong. We are now on accident free day number 5 with all wees and poos asked for by her.

DD hated to be reminded, too, and we also used the 'don't say anything and let her get on with it' approach.

It's kind of exhausting trying to act all nonchalant and lalala when you know they're about to pee themselves, but it was the only thing that worked with us (so far, anyway...)

stubborn can be good as you know they can hold it in- only problem is how to channel it! no suggestions really, other than just leave her to it as above. My dd is 18 months and fairly trained but if i try to suggest potty she refuses, she just goes herself and shouts when she needs her bottom wiped.

I would back off and leave her alone for a while.

IMO and IME the best time to promote toilet/potty use is when the child comes and tells you they need to do a wee or poo - not them telling you they've already done it or that you think they need the potty/loo.

A child needs to recognise the feeling of a full bladder and want to empty it independently ie on the loo or potty. With many children if you are too "on top of them" they just resist and you are not going to get anywhere.

I would stop the 'active' training, and just leave potties up and down, and make it clear that if she wants to go to either come and get you, or to use the potty and then tell you. If she is in knickers and wets every time then she isn't ready.

ditto put her back in nappies and leave it for a month or so . if it doesn't work then, repeat for another month.

thanks for all the lovely responses and suggestions

I think we'll leave it a bit and then see how she goes 'left to her own devices'....if she's not ready i wouldn't want to force her but i really do think she's being stubborn!!! I can't imagine where she might get it from