Childminders husband smokes!!! What to do next?

[justlookatthatbooty]

Ds's lovely lovely childminder who has a wonderful touch with children and with whom we are super happy has a disabled husband who smokes. He smokes only at night in the room that the children play in, their livingroom, but she throws open the windows for an hour in the mornings and makes sure he doesn't smoke in there during the day. Nonetheless he comes home smelling of furniture on which people have smoked. He doesn't actually smell directly of strong cigarette smoke but he does if you know what I mean, his hair and clothes and skin. He clearly isn't sitting directly in cigarette smoke from nearby but I know that the husband smokes his fags out of the window in a neighbouring room as he has only one leg and can't make it up and down the stairs.
I feel really concerned esp since DS has nighttime respiratory problems and I fear this means the end of her as a childminder as I really don't think she'll be able to get his smoke far enough away to make a difference.
I know that cigarettes cause hysteria amongst most parents these day and for VERY good reason but I'm trying to weigh this one up as he gets a huge amounts of benefit from being with this childminder. Where I live in europe childminders are like gold dust ( not in UK) and our only alternative is a creche with 8- 10 other kids to 2 adults. I just feel he's rather young for that kind of "school' atmostphere.

HELP! What would you do, honestly.

I don't know if the smell of fags does the same damage as actual smoke IYSWIM, so if you are otherwise happy, ds showing no worsening symptoms, he is settled there etc, I would leave it be personally.

Go and have a look at the thread about what our parents used to do too...

Sorry but i dont think there is any excuse for him smoking in the house, if she is using it as her place of work and especially in the room where the dc play

You wouldnt send your dc to a school where the teachers smoked in the classrooms after the dc had gone home would you? cant see it should be any different for dc going to a CM

Have you spoken to her about your concerns?

Thanks for your messages...

I've been taking a non hysterical and reasonable approach til now and hope to continue to do so. i don't know if that means pulling him away from the childminder or taking a reasonable look at the real hazards and effects...
Apart from what he should or shouldn't do, I'm really looking for practical advice. He does smoke in his own house and there is no balcony or garden or anything else and he's an old old somewhat sad man with one leg so getting him to stop is going to be a lost cause. What I want to know is how harmful is it because I want to do the right thing for DS re the smoking but also re a really amazing childminder that he really trusts and loves.

In that case i guess its not harmful just a bit smelly and unpleasant

I don't think it will do your DS any harm: the man doesn't smoke in his presence and the room is aired before he's there. SOme people will claim that the lingering smell of smoke is harmful, but TBH this is the kind of hysterical over-reaction that so many things get these days: if tobacco smoke was as toxic as the loonies claim, (ie that you will die if you pass within a mile of someone smoking a cigarette in the open air..) the human race would be extinct by now.

The smell of stale fag smoke is heinous but he is probably not at a great risk of being damaged by the smoke given that he is not in the room.

Only you can decide if you are happy with your son staying there though. I agree with those who say keep an eye on his symptoms and if they worsen or DS shows signs of unhappiness (over and above the odd bad day) then I would review the situation.