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Parenting

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Original poster

Dont know if this is the right topic but I really need some advice about ds 4 days old.

25 replies

lardybump · 26/02/2009 08:10

I feel like a total failure at the moment. Me and dp are snapping, we are both so tired and we are not even new at this.....

I have a dd of 23 months and a ds of 4 days.
DS is BF and while we were at hospital seemed very content. However the birth was very quick and he ingested lot s of mucus which made him sick a lot to start with. That seems to have eased now but now he is just so unhappy we are at the end of our tether. He is crying all night long, and it really is all night. He goes to the breast as if to feed but after a couple of mins he stops and starts crying again. We try to wind him and he will stop for a while but again after a couple of mins he starts crying again... He is not taking full feeds and so wants to go to the boob every hour, so I am so sore. He will eventually fall asleep on us but as soon as we move or try to move him he starts all over again.... He has not had a poo for almost two days now as well but MW told me that this is normal (dd used to poo about 7 times a day at this age!)
I never had any of this with dd so feel so useless I really dont know what to do....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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lulalullabye · 26/02/2009 08:14

I feel for you ! I know this probably wont help, but it will get better ! I drank massive amounts of fennel tea and dd2 seemed better after. good luck.

Nontoxic · 26/02/2009 08:16

Please don't feel useless - it's still a huge shock to the system even if you've done it before, especially when you don't get a textbook 'easy baby.'

Someone will be along with advice, but if you're sore, I wonder if she's latching on properly.

M/Ws aren't always the best people to judge this ime, so it would be worth calling a bf counsellor.

kitbit · 26/02/2009 08:16

Can you ring your health visitor and ask them to come by and check everything's OK? Maybe she can show you some positions to hold him so that his tummy is comfortable, if that's what it is? If he's not taking full feeds he may not be getting enough hind milk, so is still hungry. Am I remembering right that too much foremilk can cause colicky wind? Not sure, but that might be it. What about trying to express a bit of foremilk then when he's hungry he will be straight into hindmilk? (Can you tell I'm not a bf expert??!!! )

Hang in there, you're doing a great job and someone who knows stuff will be along shortly to give you proper advice!
Congratulations on his arrival by the way!

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SesHopesSpringwillbeheresoon · 26/02/2009 08:18

Oh, LB I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't have any experience to draw on and help you with but I do know from others that the first few days can be v hard. You and DS have been through a lot in the last week and then combine that with the tiredness...
You are not a failure at all. You are caring for your DS and things will settle down.

Hopefully someone with some more experience will be along soon but please don't beat yourself up about this.

nickschick · 26/02/2009 08:19

Hang on in there - youre doinf a FAB job you have 2 babies under 2 one of em brand smackin new!!!!

Im not a bf expert but theres loads on here that will advise you.

Good luck and mucho congrats x

fishie · 26/02/2009 08:20

is he producing wet nappies? has your milk come in yet? agree it sounds as though it would be helpful for you to talk to someone in rl asap. where is midwife in this?

fishie · 26/02/2009 08:20

mw - apart from telling you the poo is normal i mean, has she observed a feed?

ib · 26/02/2009 08:22

This is ringing alarm bells. Not pooing at 4 days is NOT normal, and a sign of not getting enough milk.

Ds had exactly this and it led to a complete nightmare, including me having to go through relactation (not fun). In the end it turned out to be a really bad case of reflux, but we did not get the diagnosis (or the meds) until he was 4 months, by which time he was seriously unwell.

At this point I would recommend seeing a lactation consultant to stave off any bf problems. If you get the bf sorted (good latch, plenty of milk) and he is still not doing well, I would investigate the reflux angle.

So sorry you are going through this, and congratulations on the birth.

shootfromthehip · 26/02/2009 08:22

Please remember that your milk and your hormones are all over the place and your LO is only 4 days old so don't be too hard on yourself. I also had a very fast birth with DS and it can be a real shock to the system. You are also readjusting to having another person in the house who is the centre of your universe so again, don't be too hard on yourself.

When your milk settles down you should have a happier baby as you may be too full and it may be difficult for him to feed. He sounds like he is a hungry baby and until he gets in a routine (not a 'routine' of the Gina Ford ilk but a pattern) he may continue to be grizzly. It may be colic but more likely to be hunger. Can you express a bit to help your flow before you latch him on? My boobs were like bricks for the first couple of weeks with both my DC and they were also MASSIVE so it was difficult to feed either of them until my boobs softened a bit. Keep feeding as often as you can and speak to you HV or a breastfeeding liason person. Good luck- it does get better

ib · 26/02/2009 08:26

the importance of newborn stool counts

fishie · 26/02/2009 08:27

lardybump advice numbers down right hand side

Original poster

lardybump · 26/02/2009 08:32

Thank you all for your advice. MW saw him latch on and said all seemed fine. I will try and get to BF clinic this week to double check though. My boobs dont feel that hard, big yes but not hard so maybe I dont have as much milk as i thought... I will get a pump today soI can express to check. WHen I hand express milk does come out but I have not had to use breast pads at all yet as they are not leaking...

OP posts:

fishie · 26/02/2009 08:36

wet nappies? do they make a thud when you drop them on floor?

shootfromthehip · 26/02/2009 08:37

Sounds like your milk isn't through properly yet- I would go to the clinic asap and see if they can give you some advice. Good luck

Original poster

lardybump · 26/02/2009 08:39

The wet nappies are quiet heavy but not clear or yellow wee it has a tint of orange in it.

OP posts:

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 26/02/2009 08:44

I would suggest you contact a breast feeding expert (not a MW) today. BF'd early newborns should poo everyday, it's only when they are bigger that they might not.

Your milk is probably on it's way, so constantly putting the baby to the breast asap is good, albeit knackering.

Congratulations on your lo, and good luck. You can and will get through this, you just need a little help from someone in the know.

fishie · 26/02/2009 08:48

lardybump you could re-post in 'breast and bottlefeeding' topic in the hope that tiktok sees it.

do ring bfc or visit bf clinic (when is it?)

i have no idea whether what you are experiencing is normal or not and i do think you have to speak to someone in rl to work out what is going on.

Original poster

lardybump · 26/02/2009 08:54

Just looked up breast feeding clinic in my area is on a wednesday but there is one on Friday in a nearby town so hoping to get dp to take me tomorrow... I am going to call the advise line as well which opens at 9..

OP posts:

fymmumoftwo · 26/02/2009 08:58

drink lots of water and eat as well/frequently to generate milk.

I'd forgotten that stage as well- they suckle little and often to get your milk going - you have to put up with it for a few days!.

keep an eye on if he stops weeing - dehydration is more a problem than no poo

my milk came in on day 4 so I think you should see it soon. (my ds is 3 weeks today)

fishie · 26/02/2009 09:27

fymmumoftwo eating and drinking is nice and should not be neglected or lardybump will keel over, but it won't make any difference to her milk!

Original poster

lardybump · 26/02/2009 10:23

He has just had a poo.... Lots of it and bright yellow. He has also slept for two hours, i am going to wake him to feed him, that may be shear exhaustion though!!!

OP posts:

rolandbrowning · 26/02/2009 10:28

Please don't bother seeing a midwife about this, see a proper bf counsellor. I don't want to generalise, but several midwives told me my latch was ok and ds was ok, when he wasn't. Finally saw a bf counsellor when he was 3 weeks old, but by then it was too late and I could never produce enough milk for him and had to top up with formula. If you see someone early, you can sort it out. Good luck1

Original poster

lardybump · 26/02/2009 10:44

Thank you all for your advise I am going to BF clinic next week!!

OP posts:

babblington · 26/02/2009 10:55

might be worth seeing a cranial osteopath - can be very helpful after a quick birth.

Rainbear · 26/02/2009 11:30

My thoughts would be get some cranial, get some support so you can rest and get plenty of fluids. Rest and fluid are what helps generate more milk. You are taking naps when baby does? BUT it sounds like you have a positioning problem if you have sore nipples and he doesn't seem satisfied. Feed on one side at a time, so the breast is fully drained. A pump will not give you an indication of how much milk you have - some women have plenty of milk but do not express much. You will be able to produce enough milk with the right support. Have you conisdered hiring a Post Natal Doula? Well done for finding the help you need. Good luck x

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