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Original poster

What are the disadvantages of 'later' potty training?

27 replies

Vamonos · 23/02/2009 16:42

Just wondering - as I can't really think of any disadvantages, apart from the cost of nappies. I'm really not looking forward to potty training - what with stressy 'accidents', extra laundry and inconvenient dashes to public toilets, what's to like?

btw by 'later' - I guess I mean nearer the age of 3 than 2, for example, though of course 'early' and 'late' mean different things to different people.

DD is 2.7, and despite experimentation with the potty, seems to actively prefer nappies, and is quite definite and vocal about it, so I'm happy to leave it till she shows more interest. But does it somehow become more difficult to get them out of nappies as they get older and more entrenched in their habits? I suppose I am just hoping that she will wake up one morning and decide to do it herself, but maybe that is unrealistic.

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OrmIrian · 23/02/2009 16:43

The only one is other people expressing their opinions

stillstanding · 23/02/2009 16:46

I spose environment is one?

My DS is about to turn 2 and I have no intention of potty training until I think he is good and ready. Having said that I think that sometimes you need to give them a little push and near 3 would be about right for that. All depends on the child, I guess.

MrsRecycle · 23/02/2009 16:51

having to cart nappies, wipes around whenever you go out. My handbag is remarkedly light. Also, when I went away for half term, didn't have to take a suitcase just for nappies.

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Original poster

Vamonos · 23/02/2009 16:57

OrmIrian - yes that is one reason I asked, MIL is making well-meaning suggestions that it might be my laziness laid-back attitude to potty training that is subconsciously affecting DD and holding her back.

Stillstanding - yes, valid point about environment, about which I have no defence as we're using disposables. But that is at least slightly offset by doing much less laundry and buying fewer clothes

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Original poster

Vamonos · 23/02/2009 16:59

MrsRecycle - do you not have to take loads of changes of clothes and materials to clean up accidents with instead? And perhaps a travel potty? That is what I am imagining.

OP posts:

shubiedoo · 23/02/2009 17:02

Well, we had to wait until ds1 was nearly 3 as we did an international move when he was 2.5. It only took a couple of weeks and he was dry at night right away as well. I have to laugh when people say "oh she's trained, since she was 20 months" but they're constantly checking pants and the child is still in nappies at night...

Sachertorte · 23/02/2009 17:15

I waited till DD was about to turn 3 and potty training was accomplished within the course of the weekend.

I´m all for going with the child. You can fight it or go with the flow. 2.7 is not too old to be in nappies!

I was very pleased to never have to deal with "accidents". I think they would have driven me mad!

MrsRecycle · 23/02/2009 18:58

I must admit vamosos ds has been a lot easier than dds ever were, he has no accidents, is dry at night and could wear the same trousers for a couple of days, so no to extra clothes. As for a travel potty, we went from London to Amsterdam by train without one and there were no accidents by ds. But as for my 8 yr old dd, that's another story!

NellyTheElephant · 23/02/2009 19:54

For me the disadvantage was simply having to change nappies at all. I hate it, I hate pooey nappies, I'm sick of the whole thing!! When I had DD2, DD1 was still in nappies and I didn't potty train her until DD2 was 3 months old (and DD1 was 2.3), so I had no break from it. I have DC3 due in about 6 weeks and the idea of not getting DD2 out of nappies prior to his arrival and having a break from the bloody things was too much to bear (had I not succeeded I'd have been changing nappies without a break for more than 6 years by the end of it.... an awful thought!!) so I trained her at 22 months. She hadn't shown any prior interest in using the potty or loo, but at that age she was still pre the terrible tantrumming twos and keen to please so it was quite a good time to go for it. Interestingly I didn't actually find it any harder to train DD2 at that age than I did to train DD1 at 2.3. No more accidents - I'd say the accident stage for both of them was about a week / 10 days (although DD2 had a relapse about a month after she'd been accident free when she got a hideous stomach bug, but luckily that didn't last too long). As I hate cleaning out potties almost as much as I hate changing nappies I trained her straight onto the loo with a child seat, which was much better.

So basically, I'd say if you don't mind dealing with nappies then really there is no down side (except the environmental impact and irritating MIL comments of course).

vesela · 23/02/2009 20:25

I went for it at 23 months (a week ago!) - DD had been saying she wanted to wear knickers, so I decided to take her at her word. It took her about 5 days to get the hang of it, and we've had no accidents for the past 3 days.

I knew that if it didn't work out (and I suppose it still might not, although - touch wood - things are looking good) I could always try again another time. But I thought it was worth taking the chance, while DD is still at a pretty adaptable sort of stage, in case she suddenly turned into a tantrum-ball and I wished I'd gone for it earlier.

miarosemum · 23/02/2009 20:53

i am so glad that i am not the only mother who feels bad for having a child still in nappies at an older age. my dd only 2.4 months and attempted potty training just before she was 2 and no joy. now she is over two, i am almost getting frowning looks from other parents as she is still in nappies! i do not want to pressurise her at all and when i do give it another go, i want to make sure she is 100% ready for it.

Lizzylou · 23/02/2009 20:55

DS1 was dry by 2 yrs 3mths (only becuase waited until 3 mths after DS2 was born for ease).
DS2 is almost 3 and nowhere near ready, just not interested at all.....he also looks nearly 4, so we get looks and comments.
Let them try and potty train him then, he is a stubborn lil tinker at the best of times...

cluttercup · 23/02/2009 20:59

My ds is just toilet training now at the age of 3years 10months. He has autism and simply hasn't been ready until now. He is doing brilliantly but I suspect that it will be a long time until we can relax !

The disadvantage to leaving it this late for us was around not being able to find nappies that were big enough. Even being dry during the day means we are still looking at having to order on the internet for big night nappies and they seem to cost so much!

pooka · 23/02/2009 21:04

DS is 3.5 and only just started training last week. And not "here are pants, bye bye nappies" training - more flexible than that.

We started off at home, in pants. Then introduced pull-ups for going out. INitially he used the pull-ups as a nappy, but today he said he wanted the potty despite being in a pull-up.

Tomorrow he will go to cm in a pull-up, but with pants for the "at home" bit.

I'm just gradually increasing the amount of pant time in proportion to pull-up time.

I should say that the lateness of training and my current attitude towards it is maybe coloured by the fact ds has had constipation on-and-off for a while. Currently much better, but am very keen to avoid anxiety about training.

HE's doing pretty well though. About 3 pee accidents since last Tuesday when we started. Since on top of the constipation, no poo accidents.

miarosemum · 23/02/2009 21:06

makes me feel better! I got chatting to a lady the other day in a random coffee shop who had a dd of 16 months old and she said she had started potty training her! its like some parents just cant help pushing their kids too soon, i do feel 16 months is a bit too early or is it me, i suppose it just depends on the child itself

pooka · 23/02/2009 21:09

DD was trained at 2.5. She was ready. DS wasn't anywhere near!

I think it is all about reading your dc's cues. I think perhaps I've been inclined to leave it with ds and could maybe have pushed it a bit earlier. But I'm not sure how that would have helped - who would have benefitted?

Original poster

Vamonos · 24/02/2009 14:54

Hi folks - thanks for the replies. I think from reading this (and other threads) that the general consensus is that if anything they tend to train a bit quicker when they're older, so I'm happy with that. Changing nappies doesn't bother me, so not a problem from that point of view. Not sure how I'll know when/if she is ready - I'm hoping it will be obvious!

OP posts:

MrsRecycle · 24/02/2009 14:56

sensible approach vamonos - it will be obvious, you will be out one day and go to change them and they will be completely dry.

LuLuBai · 24/02/2009 15:30

Vamonos - I get constant comments from my MIL "Oh both my boys were out of nappies by 18 months."

Don't let it get to you.

MrsRecycle · 24/02/2009 15:37

my mil went one step further and toilet trained my 2.5 dd2 whilst she was staying with her. I was not happy.

LuLuBai · 24/02/2009 15:43

Ooooh MrsR - that's really not on. I actually heard from my SIL that my MIL had tried to force DD to poo on the loo last time she spent the day there (aged 19 months). Apparently she was howling with the stress of it.

I was furious but haven't said anything. It may be a while before DD spends the day at her grandparents again though.

hazeyjane · 24/02/2009 15:44

One of the disadvantages - Getting one ofthese cards!

If anyone fancies starting a 'late toilet training' support thread?

Niecie · 24/02/2009 15:53

My mum is worse than my MIL - she claims we were out of at 12mths.

I trained both of mine late. DS2 was 3.6 and showed no signs of being interested so in the end I had to take charge.

However, it was getting embarrassing and although pre-school did change him if necessary they weren't keen on it. They were perhaps the only people who had a right to say anything since they had to deal with his nappies so I did feel bad about them.

NellyTheElephant · 24/02/2009 16:00

MrsR, that really made me laugh - why were you not happy?? I'd have been OVERJOYED!!! (although not by LuluBai's MIL's approach of course!). Funnily enough it was my mother who started potty training my DD1 when DH and I were away for a weekend and she was looking after her. To come home from my weekend away happy and relaxed AND find that DD1 had started to do all her wees in the potty was way more than I could ever have hoped for!!

LuLuBai · 24/02/2009 16:05

My grandmother actually potty trained me and I think my mother was quite pleased not to have to be involved, but I guess there are ways of approaching these matters.

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