Just got card from HV saying lo's 'should be toilet trained during day', by 3...

[hazeyjane]

...and am feeling like an absolute failure, because dd1 who is 3 in March, has just said to me, 'mummy I don't need to use a toilet, I do poos in anppies, it's easy!'

What would be the best way to start her, as she just thinks the whole idea of using a potty/toilet is ridiculous.

Thankyou

Ds1 (2.10) is resisting potty training. We've tried twice (at 2.6 and last week) and I've abandoned it.

He gets absolutely hysterical and will not use the potty or the loo.

Bribery doesn't work.
Stickers/reward charts don't work.
He's happy to wear 'big boy pants' but just wets himself all day long.
Told him that 'big boys' and daddy don't wear nappies, to which he replies 'well they should'

He has a really stubborn streak (as do dh and I ) and just won't perform to my ideal timetable.

I'm going to attempt a potty training boot camp in the Easter holidays.

I'll join you online for the potty training bootcamp, ohdear!

I think that if I stopped buying nappies, dd1 would fashion her own out of cushions and sellotape!

These late/stubborn potty trainees make up in imagination and chutzpah, what they lack in poo-skills

don't worry i'm sure your dd won't be in nappies at 14! she'll get the hang of it soon enough, when she's ready and that'll be the end of the problem. I don't have issues with my Hv as i've not seen her since DS's MMR at 13 months. he's nearly 3 now. we do fine without HV.

I was only advocating stopping buying napppies for children who 'knew' they had to go but decided they preferred nappies. Obvioulsy for children who have no idea it's not a good idea. But I have read lots of threads on MN where people have dcs who hide behind the sofa or deliberately go upstairs in their bedrooms to do the deed...I wouldn't have that.

Don't feel a failure! All children are different. It's ridiculous that your HV isn't recognising this

Introduce the idea of the potty. Let her play with it and 'pretend' to wee. Encourage her to sit on it before bed (have story time while she sits on it, for example). Buy her some potty related stories to read together. Point out friends / children at nursery etc who are potty trained and say 'X is a big girl, look, she is using the toilet' etc. Let her pick some 'big girl's' knickers and a potty/toilet seat herself. Make it fun.

Just don't pressurise her and don't feel bad about her not doing it 'early'. My DS was 'late' in this respect (I thought he'd never be out of his beloved nappies) but was dry day and night in a fortnight flat.

Fascinating thread, not least because you are still hearing from your HV when your DS is 3! Haven't heard from mine since DD was 12 weeks old (she's 21mo now). Perhaps she died (the HV I mean)?

Is it because we is in London?

have PMSL at this thread, it is ace.
loved 'shat himself by 10.30' and the sellotape shinanigans

I understand how you all feel as I have just managed to convert dd from the potty to the toilet, she had real issues with poos and they still cause her anxiety, bless her!

Looking back I only had success with dd when she was ready, even though my mum put lots of pressure on me to do it early, I stuck to my guns. I prepped her with lots of conversations, like these..
'ooh, do you know big girls wear pants
'ooh can you see mummy's pants? you could have some...
'oooh your friend --- wears pants & wees on potty
'isnt it clever to sit on the potty etc etc
literally over 6 months!!!!!!!

finally one morning she declared she wanted to wear pants....and still a fair few accidents later here we are.

then let her choose a potty/pants/etc
but what really helped was a big box of assorted animal chocolates, and after every poo she got a surprise animal chocky. I never used them for anything else so it was really special.
I couldnt be arsed to do star charts, but my friends had success with those.
Just plan ahead as you will want a few days at home, or pray for a warm easter so they can all run about with no pants on in the garden!!

best of luck, stick at it, there is a light at the end of the potty

PMSL 'perhaps she's dead'

Ok so since posting about ds saying he'd wear nappies forever we are now on day 3 of potty training and it's going really well

He was prepared for it the day before we started by us telling him we were about to run out of nappies so he would have to wear pants the next day and he did .

So as far as he knows we've got no nappies left and we keep borrowing one for him to wear at night. He hasn't asked for a nappy once, i'm so pleased with him.

We used a sticker chart and chocolate for a poo on day 1 but he hasn't asked for a sticker or chocolate yesterday or today and has had no accidents yesterday or today.

This post is soo funny because it rings so many bells with my dear daughter. She's 3.4 and nowhere near potty trained despite numerous attempts and different techniques. She's a very anxious little girl and she needs desensitized after she takes a fear of anything. So far every attempt at training has ended in horror for one reason or another. We've been to see the educational psychologist who reckons just keep potties and pants clearly visible and she will ask to use them when she's ready.

Oh it can be a nightmare. my MIL banged on and on about DD not being trained. She bought a potty when she had her for the weekend and smugly told me she'd be trained when I picked her up.

Oh how I laughed when I picked her up, in a nappy and was told she was fine 'until she pooed on the bedroom floor then smeared it all over the mirrored wardrobes'. She never mentioned it again

Phoenix . Good on your DS!