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Original poster

How do you leave the house when potty training?

34 replies

calmdowndear · 23/02/2009 11:35

DS is 22 months and decided to start using the potty we leave lying around the house. 1 week in I think he is doing well as he takes himself to the potty for every wee or poo and we've only had 2 small accidents.

But! This is all when he is pantless and we're at home. He was ok at an understanding friends house as she let him roam pantless and he still used the potty. But if we go in the garden or take short trips out he doesn't ask for the potty or says no when prompted. I've used the bright bots training pants which have just about held the wee in but we've still had to change his trousers.

I'm a bit lost and suspect I'm expecting too much as he's pretty young.

Any tips from those who have been there and done that? If I use pull ups will that not confuse him?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nuttygirl · 23/02/2009 11:43

Dd trained at 22 months. We started by letting her run around bare bummed. Once she was reliable (we didn't leave the house during those 5 days!) we put knickers on her for a day. She didn't have an accident so the next day we put her in tights & skirt and she was fine again, next day we put her in trousers and she was fine.

We went out when she was in the skirt but just a short outing to a shopping centre with lots of toilets!

We didn't use training pants as I was worried they might confuse her and she'd think knickers were the same iyswim.

Original poster

calmdowndear · 23/02/2009 11:48

Thanks NG. I think that is sort of what I imagined would happen, just without the skirt but he doesn't tell us when he wants the potty and refuses it when I offer it. Complete opposite of being in the house when he will announce he wants the potty and then go and sit on it. Hmm me a bit stumped!

OP posts:

rookiemater · 23/02/2009 11:50

Hi there, you are starting off really well with the bare bum at home.

It sounds as you say that he is not ready to go without nappies if he isn't ready to tell you when he needs a pee.

We used pull ups and as you say I think they confused him and essentially he saw them as nappies and they are more expensive.

In the end more by default than design I went for the lazy school of toilet training, i.e. waiting until DS didn't want to wear nappies any more. I was getting worried as he was getting older and didn't want him to be 3 and still in nappies but about 2 weeks ago he announced Mummy I don't want to wear nappies any more and we have been nappy free ver since, with relatively few accidents. He is 2.11 by the way.

Keep on doing what you are doing inside to encourage him to use the potty but if you can wait until he is keen then makes it a lot easier.

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Habbibu · 23/02/2009 11:51

Have to say that pull-ups didn't confuse dd or my niece at all - I used them when out for a little while, then forgot one day, and she was fine. I think children are less easily confused than we give them credit for sometimes.

rookiemater · 23/02/2009 11:51

Oh another thing you could try when out is trousers with no pants. I think DS got stumped with pants on as felt too similar to nappies.

jeee · 23/02/2009 11:55

I know that it's supposed to confuse them, but until mine were reasonably confident, I always put nappies on them when out for any length of time.

Original poster

calmdowndear · 23/02/2009 11:58

Interestingly we've used pull ups rather than normal nappies (except at night) for ages anyway. Not sure if that makes things better or worse!

OP posts:

NellyTheElephant · 23/02/2009 14:06

I trained DD2 at 22 months, started off bare bottomed at home then moved to pants etc. I think you need to do another couple of days at home with him wearing pants and trousers at home so he gets used to asking to use the potty when in clothes. DD2 was initially a bit funny about using other loos when we were out and about so initially I just made sure she went before we went out and then trusted to luck if we weren't out for too long and bribe her with chocolate to sit on the loo if I started to get worried about how long it had been! SHe soon got used to the idea of using loos when out of our house. He'll get there. I'd say that most friends (especially if they have children themselves and have been through it) are unlikely to care too much if your child has an accident at their house (provided you mop it up!!) Anyway, in my experience most is generally absorbed by pants, trousers etc so hardly an issue for anyone else, just have plenty of spare clothes, change him and get on with it. In the early days with DD2 I used a pull up on the very rare occsions that an accident was absolutely unacceptable (she was never confused - she knows full well when she has a nappy on e.g. at night still, and when she has pants on and acts accordingly!) I would bet than in about a week or 10 days he'll be completely fine. In the mean time carry around lots of clothes, baby wipes and plastic bags to put stuff in if he has an accident when out.

vesela · 23/02/2009 16:07

rookiemater, deciding to use the potty by himself sounds pretty keen to me!

vesela · 23/02/2009 16:24

CDD, we've also been potty-training over the past week (at a similar age after DD said she wanted to wear knickers).

We did it with bottom-halves on from the start (because she insisted on having both knickers and trousers on) but I had a duh! moment about 4 days in when I realised that she didn't like to have me pulling her trousers down for her after she said she needed to go.

So we practised pulling trousers down a lot (I jad PJ trousers on, so I did it too and we made a game out of it) and after that I think she felt a lot more in control. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that if your DS isn't used to pulling his trousers down either, maybe he doesn't feel in control enough when he's out. (If he's already a good trouser-dropper, then ignore me).

After a week of being inside a LOT, I share your trepidation about trips out. So far we've been to the corner shop on day 2 (puddle - they didn't mind), for short walks, and then yesterday to a shopping centre with the potty in the bag (we didn't use it).

vesela · 23/02/2009 16:36

and it does sound as if you're doing well! DD's got it too, the last three days (although she does leave it right until the last moment before saying she needs to sit on the potty!)

Only two accidents sounds as if he definitely knows the game - just a question of helping them feel in control when they're in different circumstances, I think.

Original poster

calmdowndear · 25/02/2009 11:49

You are a fabby supportive lot, many thanks.

He's had a vomiting bug since my last post on Monday so we haven't left the house again. Even though he's been really poorly he has still taken himself to the potty and we've had no accidents. Bless him. And I say that proves he is definately ready for this potty training lark.

I agree that he's confused about still being able to use the potty/loo when out and about so that's where I need to build his confidence using the tips some of you have suggested.

Any other tips still appreciated.

OP posts:

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 25/02/2009 11:57

Just don't do what I did.

Stupidly skipped off with a potty in a plastic bag over the buggy handle. Went shopping in town and dd decided she needed a wee NOW while I was in my underwear in a TopShop changing room.

So even more stupidly I pulled out the potty in a panic and she filled it nearly to the brim. So there I was in the the changing rooms with a potty full of wee! Not my brightest idea.

vesela · 25/02/2009 13:48

Poor thing! Well done him, though.

Stripey, so I need to add a screw-top container to my huge bag of going-out-with-potty paraphernalia? DD also insists on emptying out her potty herself, so she'd have been marching out of the changing rooms with it...

BonsoirAnna · 25/02/2009 13:50

You don't. You leave your child in a nappy until he/she is ready to use the loo.

(Potties are the invention of the devil - nothing, but nothing can be more revolting than cleaning out a potty. And why anyone thinks parents or childcarers should be tied to the house during potty training is beyond me).

vesela · 25/02/2009 16:15

How is cleaning out a potty any worse than changing a nappy?

vesela · 25/02/2009 16:15

potties don't wriggle either

kingfix · 25/02/2009 16:24

hello, am at abouthe same stage as you op. I did buy training pants but dd refused to wear them so it's pants all the way. Trips out have all been completely fine - we just go to the loo together a bit more oftern than i would on my own. seem to have had a bit of a relapse at home though, after 3 weeks or so of almost miraculous potty/toilet use. Other mothers have said their children did the same - so they get bored with it once they've proved they can do it.
Oh and i take some disposalbe changing mat /those care mat thingd to help with clearing up if there is an accident outside the house.

claireybeemine · 25/02/2009 16:28

Put them on toilet before leaving house and as soon as you arrive.

Carry 25 spare pairs of pants with you

With dd when she first started wearing knickers I'd put an AIO or pocket on but do it up first and pull it up like pants(so basically a pull up), she was happy that she was wearing pants and I didn't have to worry about accidents. Also i'd sit her on the loo regularly even if she said no.

Mind you I wouldn't take advice from me, she still has accidents 10 months on!

bubblagirl · 25/02/2009 16:44

you can buy folding pottys with disposable bags from boots they fold flat so can be popped under pushchair and pulled out in a flash if needed

just take plenty of underwear we used bed mats on pushchair as could be folded in four and turned round if wet

ask every 10 mins if needing a wee when at home just leave bare until got full understanding and use of potty then add a layer until used to each

MayorNaze · 25/02/2009 19:18

what BonsoirAnna said really.

and when you do go out, if you're still not sure whether your dc can be rlied upon to let you know when they need to go, make sure you know where all the toilets are and park your child on the pan every half hour whether they say they want to go or not.

Springflower · 25/02/2009 20:54

I let my son use the potty when he was in the house and he wore a nappy when he was out - it didnt confuse him at all - he understood that when we were out he had it on 'just in case' - just like when we stayed overnight at a hotel - there he wore it 'just in case' whereas at home he was fine overnight with nothing. I know they say not to but it worked with all 3 of mine but I might just have been lucky.

babyinbelly · 25/02/2009 22:24

Hi. Am in the process of training ds age 2.7 so he is a bit older. Started 3 weeks ago and only just getting the hang of it. (both of us) I put him straight in pants and trousers and this seems easier than moving from barebum to pants and trousers. mY friend used the barebum method and it took her ds ages to get used to pants.

Most of the time I will take my ds out wearing pants but if I am somewhere that I cant just drop everything and go to the toilet I put him in a nappy. I.e tesco - wear pants. Hospital/drs appointments - wear nappy.

To start with he would just wee in the nappy as usual but as potty training progressed he started to ask to wee on the potty while wearing a nappy. Doesn't seem to have confused him.

I agree with not being able to pull trousers down being a problem as DS likes to do this. initially I made the mistake of dressing him in jeans with button and belt. PJ bottoms and elastic waistbands mean that he can do it himself.

HTH
Good luck

fruitstick · 25/02/2009 22:47

I tried a similar method to you and gave up as DS never got the hang of being out and about.

However, we tried a couple of months later and realised that they just don't ask for the toilet - even when prompted. You have to take them, regularly. When we went out (and at home) I would take him every half an hour to start with (or whenever we passed a public loo). After a couple of weeks he began to tell me when he needed to go,

Take lots of pants and trousers!

Don't let DH carry him on his shoulders

jazzandh · 26/02/2009 12:22

Practice getting him to do a wee when YOU need him to. We all kind of learn to go just before we go out don't we. Give him plenty of drinks whilst you do this.

I used chocolate bribes for a few days - then forgot about them. My Ds was 18 months and quite happy to comply and wee on command if there was a button at the end of it!

Then we would take him before we went out - then at regular intervals when out - until he got better at telling us when he needed to go.

You need to get in the habit of reminding them - my DS is 4 and will still hop around for ages sometimes - because he can't be bothered!

Sounds like he's got it in the main though!

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