Quick help me explain to a 9 year old she is been unreasonable before I explode

[ComeWhineWithMe]

She has had a lovely day and everything was calm story read ,milky drink .
15 minute warning before bedtime then massive explosion because her dbro gets to stay up until 9pm.
She is now screaming and wailing we have this every few nights and it is driving me mad .
She does have dyspraxia and finds it hard sometimes to understand fairness of things .

But it is unfair (from her point of view).

Adults think it's fair to decide bedtime is based on chronological age rather than how tired someone is - when we all know that some people just need less sleep than others.

I think trying to rationalise it and explain things to her will prob not help - as her point of view that it's not fair is (IMO) prob as valid as yours.

I've always favoured the "life's not fair - live with it" approach? (but be more charming than that!)

Is there anything about her bedtime routine you can change to give her the control? Not on the timings (because, quite correctly, tough - she has to go to bed when you say) but on what she does when she gets in bed? Stories/audio cds of stories etc perhaps?

Life sucks when you're 9 and have an older db.

I would first evaluate her need of sleep. My 8yo gets to stay up for as long as my 12yo, because he genuinely does not need as much sleep as she does.

Once you have decided that her current bedtime is about right, go with the life's-not-fair approach. Refuse to get drawn into any arguments.

She needs to sleep trust me 8.30 is pushing it and she is so full on during the day I am usually in bed for 9.30pm .

If she stays up late she is a nightmare the next day (as she was this morning).

She thinks we all have a big vendetta against her she will not see that her younger sister is in bed before her and she gets to stay up later everything in her world is not fair .

I understand she sees it as not been fair in her eyes but she really does need the sleep and TBH I could cope with her having a little moan on the way up it is when she stands on the stairs for an hour screaming her head off or worse we catch her sitting on the hallway windowledge looking out at the world screaming and wailing like an advert for the NSPCC .

FGS I would love to be given a bubble bath ,warm drink ,story and cuddles and then tucked into a nice warm bed .

Could you let her read on her own in bed for a while if she is adamant that she is not tired (even if she really is)? We find when we let ds do this that he is often asleep within 10 minutes!

She is already allowed 10 minutes chill out time before lights out and she generally uses this to throw everything in her bedroom down the stairs .