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Parenting

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Original poster

shy

6 replies

numum · 21/02/2009 16:35

Hi I am a shy SAHM of a shy so far two-year-old girl. Any shy parents out there of shy children?
Are you finding it hard to hear people comment on how SHY your child is?

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ellabella4ever · 21/02/2009 19:18

My dd isn't shy but if someone said she was, I'd reply "she's not shy, just self-contained".

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 21/02/2009 19:20

Oh god yes. DD is only 15 months but everyone expects her to smile or babble away to them, which she wont. She just frowns at them and grips me tightly.

What am I meant to do about it? I cant make her smile FGS

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 21/02/2009 19:20

She gets her shy from DH BTW, who is 31 and still hates strangers.

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Acinonyx · 22/02/2009 19:05

I have a very shy 3.5 year-old. It gets hard to avoid the term completley and since it is entirely accurate I have rather given up.

We just got back from a disastrous birthday party. We were just talking about whether we should actually take her to any parties at all - it's so hard to know what to do for the best.

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numum · 24/02/2009 14:13

Thanks for your input. Sorry to hear about the birthday party. I can relate to that post-event feeling and discussion. I think people should be more welcoming of shys rather than adopt a whats-wrong-with-them attitude...

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Leo9 · 24/02/2009 19:51

I would avoid parties, why not?! I think many kids of 3 are not yet truly 'social' and of course if they're shy it must be so hard for them. Some people are never party-goers; don't feel pressure to take her if it makes you all miserable. IMO with kids you don't actually have to 'practice' stuff with them in order to get them used to stuff; she may try a party at 5 or 6 and absolutely love it even if she's not been to any before...

numum I was a very shy child and what I think worked for me was two things; one, total acceptance of me how I was (by my parents) - they didn't try to force me to speak, or to go forward, and they didn't try to make me go places I wasn't ready for...they just had faith in me I think that I would be ok and not always painfully shy. Two, I think was my mum role modelling to me how to interact with people....I think rather than focussing on me she made sure that she spoke up whenever necessary, whether on my behalf or to complain in a shop or cafe or something; she showed me how to be assertive and how to deal with people.

I think so many people focus on their shy child (understandably) and forget that by overcoming their own shyness, they can teach their own child so much - and when the child is ready they will be well armed when they come out of their shell!

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