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Original poster

Playdates I feel a bit odd at times

9 replies

tevion · 21/02/2009 15:58

My ds is an only and there are no cousins, of his age in the family I am also ashamed to say that I have no mom friends and there is a lack of available children in the street for him to play with.
Due to this I arrange lots of playdates from school.
I am not well in by any means with other moms on the playground but may have a bit of an hello and some small talk occasionally with them.
The problem is that I feel strange arranging playdates at times as nobody has ever not once ever walked up to me and asked if my ds would like to come to their house and play with their ds.
I arrange playdates for my ds with children that I know he likes and he really enjoys it when they come despite the fact he hasn,t asked for them.
I really feel as though everyone must have a great social network for their dc's such as cousins, mom freinds with dc's the same age, siblings, neighbourhood friends etc.
I also keep my ds in touch with mates from his old school but its me that always contacts them and I know that if it wasn,t for me doing this then my ds would never see sight of them again.
The other moms always appear pleased that I have invited their dc and some of them have returned the invite although a few haven,t bothered.
Am I the only one to feel as though I am the only one to really bother about playdates am I an exception.
Can anyone relate to me.

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Original poster

tevion · 21/02/2009 16:03

anyone

OP posts:

BlueCowWondersAboutPancakes · 21/02/2009 16:13

If yours is an only, you won't get as much 'exposure' as a mum of 2 or more. I'm always hugely grateful if anyone invites mine for tea! But because of the other children in the family, it's not so important for us as there's always someone at home to play with. However, I do keep reminding myself to make a special effort for the dc's friends who don't have siblings.

sinkingfast · 21/02/2009 16:40

It can also really depend on the class your child is in - ds's class is like pulling teeth as far as playdates go and always has been, dd1's is a lot easier - the parents are much more sociable and much more likely to reciprocate. Of DS's 4 closest friends, only one ever asks him for tea (and that's not very often) - the others come here but I know now that for various reasons (none of which are to do with DS), he will not be invited back.

So my advice would be to carry on dishing out invites for your DS's sake - he may just have an 'unlucky' class IYKWIM.

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cat64 · 21/02/2009 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ellabella4ever · 21/02/2009 18:34

Hi Tevion

My DD is 4.3 and not yet at school so I don't really bother much with playdates as I find other people's kids a bit of a drag She's in nursery 3 half day sessions so I reckon she gets her socialisation then. When she does start school I plan on her doing ballet one afternoon after school and Rainbows another. I will occasionally invite a classmate over but I also think she'll see enough of them during the day and it's good to chill out with your parents in the evening after a day at school. In summer we can go swimming, to the park, bike riding after school.

BTW we mums of onlies have our own topic: Lone Child Families - come and join us - we even have our own tearoom

ellabella4ever · 21/02/2009 23:56

Actually it's the One Child Families topic!

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 21/02/2009 23:58

Tevion, are you me??????

I could have written your OP.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 22/02/2009 00:06

I have no advice at all sorry.

I just know exactly where you're coming from.

It's bloody hard work. We've got DS's old friend from his former school - they're always away or busy. DS has a new friend at school, which is great, but the parents do things with their kids (damn them! )

Then there's the kid down the street. His parents don't do anything with him. We feel sorry for him and cross with them. He comes round a lot. Which I welcome, cos it's someone for DS to play with. But I'm aware he's not DS's first choice. And I wouldn't want DS going round there cos of the dog and because they don't seem to keep much of an eye on their son.

Find a kid with neglectful parents, that's my late Saturday night advice. Hmm.

Tryharder · 22/02/2009 08:36

The other parents are probably just lazy to make an effort and glad that you are doing all the work. Or maybe you have a lovely tidy house, nice food, brilliant toys, well behaved child and the other parents don't want to be ashamed by their own houses

Seriously, DS1 and I always go on a playdate to a friend's house down the road - she has a lovely, spotless, beautifully decorated house and always at least 4 different kinds of biscuits/cake to offer, you know the sort of thing. Whereas at ours, we still have the wallpaper stripped off the walls where I had the damp course done a year ago, water marks in the hall when the toilet plumbing leaked, you might get a cup of tea if you're lucky, generally dont have cake/biscuits in. And it's a shit heap a bit untidy

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