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Parenting

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Original poster

Is this considered irresponsible?

19 replies

bergentulip · 21/02/2009 15:30

I let my 3.8yr old play outside with the neighbours' children on his own.

He does not leave the cul de sac, there are seldom any cars (and any cars live here so are v. slow), he's pretty responsible and always asks if he goes into a friend's house......
but I can't see him out the window all the time.

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Kbear · 21/02/2009 15:32

only you can answer that - if you feel he is safe and you are 100% happy....

leoleosuperstar · 21/02/2009 15:32

How many other children of what ages I think matters.

I think it's ok - you know your child. My ds will follow simple rules and would be ok if we lived in a cul-de-sac.

nickytwotimes · 21/02/2009 15:32

Yes.
Sorry, but that is a bit dangerous imho.

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legoprincess · 21/02/2009 15:35

I don't like judging other people's decisions but, seeing as you asked, yes I do think that is irresponsible.

SlartyBartFast · 21/02/2009 15:36

wiat til he is 4 maybe?

hercules1 · 21/02/2009 15:36

I wouldnt do it to be honest.

TigerFeet · 21/02/2009 15:36

We live on a quiet cul-de-sac too. I let my 4.7yo play out and have done for the past year or so. I do keep an eye on her, probably less so now than I did to start with, but I like to know whereabouts on the street she is and I prefer her to stay where I can see her from the window. She plays with three or four other girls, ranging in age from 10 to 7.

It depends on the child imo, dd isn't a particularly adventurous child and does as she's told so rarely strays out of sight anyway. If she was prone to running off then I'd probably be stricter.

WallOfSilence · 21/02/2009 15:38

What age are the neighbours' children?

If they are much older than him & keep an eye on him I think it might be OK.. but it's up to each individual.

I let my 4-year-old play outside with his 7-year-old sister, but we're on a farm in rural Ireland so there's no traffic (apart from tractors & they're not on the land where my house is).

I remember when we were young we all played out round the estate as long as there were some older children with it it was deemed OK.

I guess if you're OK with it that's what matters.

BoffinMum · 21/02/2009 15:39

I am quite gung ho with with DCs but I used to sit out the front and keep half an eye on the proceedings when DS2 was 3. I think I eased off when he was about 5, if some older sensible kids were out there.

2pt4kids · 21/02/2009 15:40

I live in quiet cul de sac and wouldnt let my 3.4yr old without me. Just feels too young, even with older kids there.
He is my PFB though, so maybe that colours things!

WallOfSilence · 21/02/2009 15:41

I just read my message & I hope I don't sound as if I am advocating handing over the responsibility of your child to older children, I just meant if he was playing with a group of older children they would be more likely to 'mother' him & keep an eye on him.

LoveBuckets · 21/02/2009 15:41

If he was with older kids who were kind and understood the rules (and the point of the rules) I might think that was ok. If there were more kids his age, I'd want to organise some kind of shift thing for a parent to sit out in the front garden with a book or something (like MN on a laptop). Otherwise it's not fair on the older kids being in charge of more littlies.

Original poster

bergentulip · 21/02/2009 15:41

Neighbours' children range from 6 - 10yrs old.
I'm amazed they always come and knock on the door asking for him to come out. You'd think they would find it boring playing with a little boy so much younger than them.

I do feel happy with him out there.... I just wondered if I was being misguided by not being too worried.

The other children seem to look out for him, and I trust them quite a bit too. Ie, if I say 'make sure you don't take him out of the street' they listen.
That said, I know I cannot entrust my 3yr old to other children!! That much is perfectly clear to me!!

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Original poster

bergentulip · 21/02/2009 15:43

Thanks Wallofsilence, x-posted a bit. Agree with your point.

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TigerFeet · 21/02/2009 15:45

It's a marvellous excuse for sitting in the front garden in the summer

leoleosuperstar · 21/02/2009 15:45

I think the idea of older children is to raise the alarm if he wandered off or to remind him - 'mummy said you have to stay here'.

I think it's ok to be honest.

greenbeanie · 23/02/2009 13:55

As long as he is with others he should be ok but it is still a large responsibility for them. I lived on a quiet culdesac with very few and always slow moving cars. Our neighbour used to let her 3 year old son out on his own to play or with his older 6 year old brother. I witnessed a few near misses with cars when he ran across the road after a ball etc and spoke to his mum about this. She continued to let him out and one morning while I was getting my ds's in the car he was hit by a car, all be it very slow moving.

He was unhurt although very shaken, children oof that age are so focused on what they are doing, such as chasing a ball, that they don't think of the consequences.

OrmIrian · 23/02/2009 13:58

It depends entirely on the other children. For short periods it would probably be fine. Mine were a little older when I let them out with older ones but each succeeding child was younger iyswim.

Original poster

bergentulip · 23/02/2009 19:08

Thanks for responses. Glad to see I am not necessarily off the mark by letting him out alone.

He spent quite alot of the weekend out there, and it was great. He loved it, and I am sure it gives him a sense of freedom and responsibility. I am never far away, but he does not know that.

I ended up out there quite a lot myself on the Sunday, as my 16mth old was desperate to be out in the front (not back garden- which would have been faaaaar more practical!), so I sat on the lawn with him as he scuttled around.

It's a nightmare being the only parent out there, because inevitably I felt the need to butt in and nag them about playing with a ball too close to the cars, or to stop making so much noise on the elderly couple's driveway.... etc etc....! Best well out of it I say(!)

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