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Parenting

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Original poster

At what age do you think it becomes appriopate for children and adults in the same family to cover up their bodies

34 replies

Reallytired · 21/02/2009 12:19

Ie. if you were having a shower and small child wanted to use the toilet in the bathroom would you object.

We do not have a lock on the bathroom door for fear of my son locking himself in. I am not that bothered if he wants to use the loo while I am having a bath/ shower. I think its preferable to him having an accident. Conversely my son is not in the slightest bit bothered about being naked infront of his parents. Even though he is seven years old I like to supervise bath time.

a) to make sure he cleans his teeth properly
b) to force him to wash his hair when it looks dirty.
c) to stop him having stupid amounts of water in the bath and making a mess.
d) to make sure he bothers to dry himself.
e) to make sure he applies doublebase to his ezcema and I help him apply steriod cream when its really bad.

My parents have terrible hang ups about nudity and think that I should be stricter.

OP posts:

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mrsmaidamess · 21/02/2009 12:28

Well as long as your 7 year old is not walking in on them in the nude I don't see that its any of their buiness.

I think children naturally decide when its time to cover up. My ds is nearly 8 and has started to jokingly cover his bits up after swimming. DD (13) has been swathed in clothes permenantly since she was about 8 too.

However I still prance around as nekked as the day I was born.. Its my house!

Astrophe · 21/02/2009 12:40

I'd say take your cues from the child. If they are comfortable, then its fine. Its not as if anything you are doing is inappropriate by checking on him in the bath etc. DH and I have no issues getting changed/using the loo in front of the DC (only 4.5 and 3 now), but do make sure we are both clothed if they come into our bed for a snuggle! I think when they start to show signs of wanting more privacy, we will respect that - ie, wont go into the bathroom or their rooms when they are changing etc...but until then, no probs I think.

BonsoirAnna · 21/02/2009 12:43

You take your cues from your child.

A seven year old boy will in all probability need to be supervised in the bath as you describe. That seems very sensible.

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StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 21/02/2009 12:47

Depends on the child - you will know when they start getting uncomfortable with it. My 8yo isn't bothered at all, infact she stripped off infront of most of her classmates a few months ago.

mrsjammi · 21/02/2009 12:48

This reply has been deleted

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Astrophe · 21/02/2009 12:55

mrsjammi, agree it would not be a big issue to be nakey and cuddling a 3 and 4 year old - just a habit we are into I guess, especially DH doesn't feel its appropriate with DD, and I think thats fine - whatever he is comfortable with suits me

ABetaDad · 21/02/2009 12:59

My DS1 started wanting to cover up at 8.

I go to the loo with the DS1 and DS2 if we are out but not at home. I also go in the changing rooms together.

My wife does not allow them to see her nude now at all.

BigusBumus · 21/02/2009 14:25

I still bath with my 6 year old son occaisionally, but have noticed him looking at my bits curiously and he asked me where my wee comes out etc, so i am tending to cover up a lot more in front of him now, but not obviously so as i don't want him to think that bodies are "wrong" somehow. I also have a 6 year oldstep son, who occaisionally sees me getting dressed, but it don't generally go round naked in front of him and my husband doesn't in front of my son,who is his step-son.

CompareTheMeerkat · 21/02/2009 14:29

It doesn't bother me anyone in this house seeing me naked (DS is 5.3 and DD is 3.5).

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 21/02/2009 14:43

Reallytired, I think its great that you haven't picked up on your parents prudsih attitiude, since that is obviously what you have grown up with.

As everyone else says you take your cue from the children, when they are bothered by it you do something about it

brightwell · 22/02/2009 08:39

I'm sure my dc dd14 & ds 11 will stop coming into the bathroom when I'm showering or coming into my bedroom when I'm dressing when they feel it's inappropriate.

Lindenlass · 22/02/2009 08:43

I don't think there needs to be an issue at all with nudity unless any of the involved parties feels there is one IYSWIM!

I don't feel at all uncomfortable at the moment being naked around my children, or bathing with them (oldest is only 5.5 though - all girls). DH will bath with the younger two but feels a bit uncomfortable bathing with the older two (5.5 and 4).

Whenever we start feeling uncomfortable with it, we'll probably gradually start ensuring we're not naked together, but I don't see that happening for some time yet - I don't mind bathing/going to the loo etc. in front of my mum still.

piscesmoon · 22/02/2009 08:57

I don't see it as a problem-it will evolve naturally because your DC will get to an age when they want privacy. Just be led by them.

DontCallMeBaby · 22/02/2009 09:11

I agree that it's right to take the cue from the children. Unfortuntately I'm now wondering if this is going to backfire for us, as DD was covering her bottom when DH was trying to get her into the bath the other day - she's not quite 5 yet! I told DH afterwards that it's natural for children to become modest, and that perhaps laughing and saying 'I've seen your bottom plenty of times before!' wasn't the most helpful thing - but then neither is getting modest at an age when you still have to be supervised in the bath very helpful!

Ewe · 22/02/2009 09:19

I don't think there is a set age it's more of a personal/family thing. I am from a "naked house" - my Mum will wander around naked when out of shower etc, no problem, doesn't care who sees her.

I am the same and have never been bothered about my family seeing me naked, even as a teen. My Dad is a bit more reserved and always has pants on though!

I have always been happy for my Mum, Aunt, Sister to come in and chat to me whilst I have a bath but would feel a bit weird if adult male relatives were to do the same so I think it is a gender thing more than an age thing.

piscesmoon · 22/02/2009 09:41

It's just a question of not forcing something on anyone either way.

FrannyandZooey · 22/02/2009 09:45

yes, the children will let you know when
ds has just now got shy about public nudity eg if he needs to change his trousers outside the house (nearly 6 years old)
still has a wee with the door wide open though

doesn't give a monkeys about me or dp seeing him naked, however asked dp to stop having a shower with him a year or two back as he "didn't like seeing daddy's great big willy"

they will hopefully tell you what's ok for them, there isn't a set age
and appearing / being relaxed about it yourself, as you are, will really help them feel comfortable about their bodies

NotQuiteCockney · 22/02/2009 18:42

A question for the fellow nudies: how do you feel about other people's children?

I don't mind if they get naked, but I discovered, on Friday, that I mind other people's children peering at me in the shower.

roisin · 22/02/2009 18:48

ds1 is 11 and is starting to get a bit shy. But not obsessively so. I ran a bath for him tonight, and he stripped off in front of me and got in.

If I'm in the shower in the morning and they're desperate for the loo or in a hurry to get ready and do their teeth, both of them will just come in. (They are 9 and 11).

I also wander around and don't particularly cover up. We also usually still share a room when at hotels.

I can't imagine every covering up tbh, but it doesn't bother me at all. But I do remember as a teenager being excruciatingly embarassed at a friend's house, where her dad was always walking around nude (they had a sauna)!

Original poster

Reallytired · 22/02/2009 18:50

"A question for the fellow nudies: how do you feel about other people's children?"

Depends on the circumstances, if the children are quite young and I am getting changed in a public changing room then I don't mind. I imagine that in those sort of circumstances the children aren't especially interested in my body. They are more interested in going swimming.

If my son had a little friend round then I would not the little friend peering at me in the shower.

OP posts:

cutekids · 22/02/2009 18:52

i'm another one who walks around starkers...so does my hubbie (not all the time obviously!).My dd1 (10) has never batted an eyelid.My ds1 (9) same.My dd2 (8)
has never liked being seen naked since she was about 6...!?
I've never worried about it really but maybe I should???

FairLadyRantALot · 22/02/2009 19:09

my es ,who is 12 1/2 doesn't get undressed infront of us , although has no qualms walking about in Boxershort-underwear...
He also walks quite happily in when I am having a bath/shower and doesn't seem to be bothered by my nudity...
I have no issues him walking in, tbh...it is up to him...if he was bothered about it, then I suppose he would stop it...

my younger 2 are 4 and 6 and neither have any issues about nudity...only play silly...as in: Oooh I am naked....help..." giggling and whatnot...

NotQuiteCockney · 22/02/2009 19:15

Ah, the boy who made me nervous was 7. I am sure I'd be fine with someone who was 3 or 4 or whatever.

FairLadyRantALot · 22/02/2009 19:34

oh and about other children....I think that is a whole different issue.

I think a failry oung child and one that I know well, I would not feel any different...an older one I would not be happy and I think that is 7+...
although, strangely, I think I would feel less uncomfortable if the child was a girl than if it was a boy...

...a while back one of my es friends (around 9) walked in on me whilst I was in the bath....we don't have a lock and I had told them I was in the bath, but he forgot.......he only saw my boobs, thank god...because, well, his mum is an extended bf'er of several children, so, boobs won't shock him much, iykwim

NotQuiteCockney · 22/02/2009 19:39

I am pretty sure that this kid's family is relaxed about nudity. I didn't mention it to his mother, but I really doubt she'd be bothered. He seemed slightly curious, not traumatised or horrified.

It was just me - I've always been very mellow about my kids seeing me nude, but not one for casual nudity with other adults - I just hadn't realised I was bothered about other kids.

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