Parents with two children close in age.

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Did you feel you missed out on things with your first child if you had a second quite quickly? Ds is 9mths and, obviously, I'd like a second at some stage. I can't decide whether to try for a close age gap or leave it for a couple of years. Time is ticking slightly as the Doctor reminded me today but I worry if I have two close together I won't get to enjoy the baby stage as much with Ds as I'll be busy with a new baby too. Not sure if any of that makes sense but thoughts/advice/experiences would be appreciated and maybe I ought to discuss it with Dp too!

The gaps I have in order:

5.5 years
14 months
24 months

My favourite age gap has been the 14 month gap.

If your ds is already 9 months and you're not trying get you're not going to end up with a particularly small gap tbh!! Def more positives than negatives about a small age gap IMHO

I have a 17 month age gap (dd1 is just 3 now)DD2 is 19 months.
Its exhausting.I actually found it easier when DD2 was immobile.Now they both run in different directions and I chase every which way after them

I do think that DD1 had to grow up a bit quicker than she might have done-suddenly at 17 months she wasnt the baby anymore.However to make up for that we may have over compensated.DD2 didnt get half the attention DD1 got as a small baby as we were fussing over wether DD1 would become maladjusted due to the arrival of her little sister.

That said they Love each other now.They play together and laugh their heads off.(cept when they are fighting over toys)DD2 copies everything dd1 does and learns alot from her which makes up for me not having the time I had to play with DD1 with her iyswim?
Plus they will always have someone to play with and actually its getting easier at times.I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.They amuse each other.Soon all I will have to do is provide food at regular intervals during the day then leave them to it

18 months, girl then boy.

Exhausting. Ditto TheGreatScootini re eldest "growing up" a bit quickly. Occasionally I feel bad about expecting far to much of DD(she is now 2).

But what is absolutely fabulous is the way that DS face lights up when he sees his (not very) big sister. He adores her. She actively entertains him, then steals his toys.

This first 18 months is going to be very very hard. But I think its worth it.

And change one nappy, might as well change two and go to the toilet yourself whilst your there.

I think it depends on how many children you want and how old you are.. if you are just going to have 2 and you're young enough I would leave a 2-3 yr gap as then you can really enjoy them and they are close enough in age to be good friends. I had my first 2 really close together, they are now 7 and 8 and still mucking about upstairs having a giggle, they have a real bond. I did find it bl**y hard work when they were under 3 though. Now have 2 more with a 2.5 and 4 yr age gap, its easier when they're babies not to have such a small gap, but then you just get other probs like doing the school run while breastfeeding a small baby etc. As others have said, there are pros and cons at any age. If you're longing to have another baby i would just get on with it!

15 months between mine.

Don't feel I missed out on anything. Don't see what there is to miss out on. They are both still there!

They are so close. They fight, obviously, but they play together as well. They are good friends because they are so close in age. They both have autism which is another thing that keeps them close - they truly understand each other, iyswim. I feel that they'll never be alone, which is comforting.

I don't think it was any harder adding ds2, we were already nappy changing and getting up every 2 hours in the night.

Accidental but worked out for the best. Wouldn't have it any other way.

my eldest are 1 year 5 days apart.i had bad pnd after 2nd child so feel i missed out on his baby days more than first born.

ive since had another-4.5 year age gap and found one on his own harder than 2 although he was by far easiest.i think its because i had to entertain him.

i was already doing bottles,nappies etc for dd when ds1 was born so wasnt big shock.

they are so close now,they have there moments obviously but they are lovely!

forgot to say i almost feel sorry for ds2 not having that 'partner in crime' like dd and ds1 do!almost.

DD1 and DD2 are 14 months apart, and it's the best (abstract) decision I have ever made. DD1 does not remember life without dd2, so wasn't jealous really, she just adapted relatively easily to the new arrival because really she was only a baby herself. She probably missed out on trips to galleries, time on her own with me, etc, but what she has gained from having dd2 as her best friend and constant companion far outweighs that a million times.
DD2 had a laid on social life from birth, she has been dragged to toddler groups and music groups since she was a week old, and she had entertainment laid on by dd1 from day 1, even if a lot of it was a bit heavy handed in the early days. They absolutely adore eachother, and they fight, play and learn together. DD1 is so much better at sharing than a lot of her friends, and they are both good at negotiating and apologising.
If you don't get the point, I would recommend it very highly!

.....and they play together so I can get on with other stuff

There is 2.3 yrs between my dd's and 11 months between dd2 and ds. Both gaps had their pros and cons, but I didn't have any sibling rivalry when they were young. The people I know who had problems with their dc's are those with an 18 month gap - I think it's because at that age it's harder to fully explain to the older one what's about to happen.

DD1 had lots of time with me and ds had a year with me when the dd's went to school, but dd2 has never had that and I do feel a bit sad for her.