Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Present from new sibling?

23 replies

queenofeyes · 18/02/2009 21:57

Hello there,
I'm expecting our second child in a few weeks and am wondering whether to follow advice and get my 2.5 year old daughter a "present from the baby". Something in me recoils a bit from the idea of using presents as a way of dealing with a difficult situation but I can see the point of this. What have other people done? What might be an appropriate gift? (Something she can play without too much help from sleep-deprived and frantic parents, I guess!) Thanks...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Poledra · 18/02/2009 21:59

I did it for DD1 when DD2 arrived. She got a doll which she could bath etc, so she got a new baby too.

We did buy some gifts for them from DD3 but they didn't get them till a few weeks after her birth as I was in hospital. DD1 was delighted that her new sister knew her so well that she could pick a perfect gift for her

smellyeli · 18/02/2009 21:59

We bought our DS a couple of things - I too was sceptical but he still remembers it. I bought him a book to read together, just us, and then chickened out and bought him a Thomas DVD which he loves and whenever he watches it he says 'A bought me this from the hospital Mummy'. So maybe it works!

Oh, and 2 DC's is fab. Hard work sometimes, but so, so much fun.

BakewellTarts · 18/02/2009 22:00

Agree about not wanting an elder sibling to focus on presents but it can be helpful particularly as the new baby will probably get lots of presents.

We bought DD1 and Aquadraw from DD2. Fab as she likes drawing and if anything gets knocked over its only water.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

BakewellTarts · 18/02/2009 22:01

Totally agree that 2 DCs is fab.

InTheScrum · 18/02/2009 22:01

I bought a pair of binoculars for ds1 when ds2 was born. But DH refused to let us say it was actually from DS2 because he didn't want DS1 to think DS2 actually came out with them!

Hebble · 18/02/2009 22:20

We bought our DD a High School Musical outfit from baby when he arrived. It was packed in my hospital bag so she had it when she came to visit her brother for the first time. She was very chuffed - thanked him straight away and still says how special it is to her because it helps her remember when she met him for the first time. We think it made her feel special when all the attention from visitors was on the new baby.

noonki · 18/02/2009 22:21

I think that a pressie can help (though my DS1 refused to play with his new car as it belonged to the baby!)

I've copied these off a thread I wrote on last week

so these are my top tips

(ds1 was 19 months when ds2 arrived)

When you first introduce them, let dd 'find' the baby (video it. we did and it still makes me cry). and congratulate them on finding the baby.

be very affectionate to the baby infront of her and encourage her to do the same. ( I worried that it would make him jealous, absolutely the opposite!)

call the baby by it's name as soon as possible.

talk to the baby about what a lovely big sister they have.

Tell DD that the baby thinks that DD is amazingly clever for doing whatever she is doing and how much the baby loves dd (you only really like people that like you back!)

remember the baby isn;t made of glass and can be touched by dd (try and stop yourself saying no everytime she touches him, instead use gentle...)

try giving dd a present from the baby.

we did these and DS has never been jealous. He has been annoyed at and mean to his little brother but in general they get on well (DS2 is 19 months)

babyinarms · 18/02/2009 22:23

I bought a thomas the tank set for DS from DD when she was born..he was nearly 3 at the time.DD is now 17 months and DS still remembers that she got that gift for him..i would definately recommend it..it really cant do any harm.

Original poster

queenofeyes · 18/02/2009 22:36

Thanks for all the good suggestions - will look into an Aquadraw, perhaps...
Am amused by the thought of the baby coming out with binoculars, In The Scrum - I can imagine how that might cause confusion about human biology at a young age... Noonki, that's good additional advice - sorry if I'm repeating a much-asked question! Especially glad to hear 2 DCs is fun! It just seems daunting at the moment...

OP posts:

hellymelly · 18/02/2009 22:48

We bought a nice toy from the baby,and one for the baby from dd1,she was pleased and still mentions that it is the toy her sister brought for her- a few months ago she grilled me further on how baby could have got the toy and I explained that I bought it as I knew what the baby wanted her big sister to have.I love two.I would love four but I am too old to get four . the jump from one to two was more tricky for me than the jump from childless to mama but it is lovely seeing them cuddled together on the sofa watching tv,or bouncing on the bed together after a bath.lovely.

babyinarms · 18/02/2009 22:48

No it is fun...two little personalities..it's lovely, tireing but lovely!

Poledra · 18/02/2009 22:49

Two are good - three's better

smellyeli · 18/02/2009 22:50

Poledra - it's not me you need to convince! I'll just get DH....

Timeisablindguide · 18/02/2009 22:50

I think it's nice to have a present from the older sibling for the baby and one from the baby to the older sibling - esp as the new baby will be inundated with presents when s/he is born. My ds2 gave my ds1 a playhouse when he was born as a present for his older brother. Went down really well and it was the fact it was from ds2 that meant more to ds1 than the item itself! He was so delighted that as well as choosing his baby brother something, his baby brother had actually got him something too!

babyinarms · 18/02/2009 22:52

Yes i think 3 would be good too...heres hoping!

Heated · 18/02/2009 22:57

When ds came home (he'd been on hols with g-ps) I wasn't holding the baby, in fact she was tucked away to one side having a nap so he didn't feel as if his place had been 'filled'! We all made a fuss of him and heard about his holidays. GPs got to hold baby and ds was very excited. We saved the present from the baby until about a week in, once the novelty had worn off a bit.

ladyr · 19/02/2009 00:28

I bought both of my dds a teddy from their new baby brother. Also made one of these books which was popular
click here

purepurple · 19/02/2009 08:29

when DD was born she bought her brother a skateboard. He was 6 and he loved it and her, apart from the time he put chewing gum in her hair. When I asked him why he said because i spent more time with her than with him.

AmIOdetteOrOdile · 19/02/2009 08:37

I have bought the DCs a present from each new arrival. They very proudly showed them to visitors saying "look what I got from X", so it also got them using baby's name as well.

springlamb · 19/02/2009 08:49

Dd (7) was born when ds was 7. 'She' gave him a cat costume and a little gold medallion engraved with 'Big Brother' the night she was born.
Ds (now 14 of course) has forgotten the medallion and I have it in my jewellery box but boy does he remember the cat outfit!
All her baby pics have this cat prancing about in the background, the odd furry paw tickling her tiny foot!
And dd (now 7 of course) still has the 'welcome' card he made her on display in her bedroom.
Wonder why they fight so much nowadays...

cory · 19/02/2009 19:05

It is nice to have presents to celebrate something good. (or help you deal with something unnerving). I get a present every time it's my birthday. I got a present when I finished my PhD. We got presents when we married. I gave dd a teddy bear when she went in for her operation. Normal human behaviour, I see no reason for recoiling.

spinachrisotto · 19/02/2009 20:08

We did that, DD was so excited when we told her baby had a present for her when he came home. We all love presents at our house! Have had no jealousy whatsoever 2.5yr age gap! Some friends also brought older DC presents instead of baby which was great as tbh what does baby get from presents? Next friend who has a baby we will bring a present for their toddler!

Original poster

queenofeyes · 19/02/2009 20:50

Thanks again. The cat costume story is so sweet! What great baby photos you must have, Springlamb. I'm not really not Scroogily anti-presents, as such, just a bit pious/worried about setting up weird expectations /prone to overthinking. A present is definitely en route to DD now though, and I'll get her to help choose something for the baby too.

OP posts:

Flip