About to have first baby what book should I buy as a good overall reference?

[Dotty38]

I want to get a book but nothing to heavey going with strict routines and extreme ideas. Just something I could read now and use after the birth if I needed.

Can anyone recommend one?

The What to expaect books are probably the ones I found most useful, except they set you up for terrible dissapointments in terms of the standard of check-ups etc you can expect in the first year. Def not based on NHS!

Penelope Leach Your Baby And Child - like dustbuster said - reassuring and non-preachy/dogmatic
very easy read when you're knackered, too.

Perfect Parents by Christina Hardyment - shows how clueless most of the experts are

The best, most practical and impartial book I had were the NHS books I was given by midwives and health visitors. I'm sure you'll get these.
The first is called 'Pregnancy' and the second is 'Birth to Five.'
I did buy other baby books but read bits of them and then didn't bother with them much. I thought a lot of them were a load of twaddle and they just made me neurotic. They were a bit self-righteous, as well.
Depends what you want. I just wanted practical advice: the rest I kind of muddled through myself.

Most of my friends rate 'what to expect' although I didn't bother as I had a ruddy library by the time I heard about it.

BUT my favourite was 'How Babies Think' - not so much a manual as a fascinating read. By some psychologists who confess freely to their own parenting mistakes!

Penelope Leach.

I cannot reccomend highly enough Baby Love by Robin Barker. Everyone I have lent it to has gone out and bought their own copy. Seriously.

It has lots of really helpful, practical advice about things like Breast feeding, Formula feeding, what to expect in terms of sleep patterns for newborns, how to tell if baby is ill, skin rashes, baby development - all the basics really. Also great stuff on weaning for later on.

It is very neutral and unbiased - she tells you what the options are and gives you pros and cons - eg. "these are the good things about dummies, these are the bad things, they are a safe option and you should decide what works for you"

Honestly, it is just such a useful and un-judgey book. I just love it.

The Sears books are good too, although I do think they have more of an 'agenda' (albeit a good one, I think) than Robin Barker does.

BUY BABY LOVE!!

(The reason people have possibly not heard of it is that it's Australian, although available on amazon UK)

I'd say 'what to expect - the first year' as well - it doesn't give any preachy advice but does answer some of the million and one questions you are bound to have.

Beware the library!! I happened to have a certain book out of the library when I had my ds. I never intended to follow its strict routines and was just reading it out of curiosity but because it was there I still managed to drive myself nuts with it.

interesting - I really don't like the 'what to expect when...' ones - I find them too..dunno...American, but also clinical and...can't quite put my finger on it. But there you go, everyones different

(Never buy the 'what to eat when expecting' one though - it tells you that you can only eat a biscuit once a month, so long as its sweetened with juice and not sugar. Garrrrgh!)

Agree Astrophe about the 'What to Expect Books.."
Was also going to say I found them 'American' but didn't want to offend anyone!

What to Expect is too focused on milestones and can cause unnecessary anxiety as babies can be fast on certain milestones and slow on others.

Also, if you have a more attachment parenting style, it can be quite annoying in terms of what it says about co-sleeping etc.

I would not say it is neutral. It does have a certain parenting agenda built in.

" Baby Love, Baby Love, Baby Love..."

Read the Amazon reviws for Baby Love - all good

Seconding the Lucy Atkins recommendation - it's a brlliant, brilliant book. Gives the low-down on all the different parenting theories without pushing. Great on sleep, and is generally just full of common sense. You can tell she has kids, as well as being a medical journalist. It wasn't written for an ideal world, it was written by someone who knows what it's like to have a baby scream for no apparent reason after 3 days and nights of very, very broken sleep....

What To Expect the First Year is okay too - very USA, but thorough.

I hated most of the rest.

I would really recommend avoiding baby books! I think that they make you anxious about what to expect, and irritated by their dogma (and they all have one, just some are less obvious). Check out a few at a library and you will soon see how different they are in style, and how often they give conflicting advice. If you are really keen to have one, find someone who parents in the way you think you would like to, and ask what (if anything) they have found useful.

The free ones from the NHS are a good minimum. In fact I just agree with everything Gateau has said

I once read a very interesting history of parenting advice - good sociological stuff. Really demonstrated how faddish a lot of baby advice is (and the impact of commercial interests too) lots of advice goes around in circles (demand vs baby led is a good example of this).

What to expect is fab as reference, yummy mummy's survival guide by liz frazer is fab for when your world is falling apart and you need a giggle and some reassurance. Don't get a sears book, it will make you feel evil if you ever give a bottle or put baby in their own cot

oh, and since I've got most of the other ones- baby whisper states the bloody obvious, and is only useful for first few months, gina ford works to a certain extent-but is terrifyingly strict, the no-cry sleep solution only works for certain babies-not collcky refluxy ones like mine. I've also heard Baby love is very good. If you do end up with a colicky screamer then I really recommend Healthy sleep habits, healthy child, it helped me regain my sanity at 4months post partum!

Another vote for Penelope Leach. I used her as a back up to my own instincts. She always agreed with me

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Robin Grille's Heart to Heart Parenting, which is only available in Oz here shop.abc.net.au/browse/product.asp?productid=165277
I have read MANY books and these are the ones you need!