Two problems - how do I deal with them?

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When I ask DD to help tidy up something immeidately hurts so she can't.

When she is sent to the naughty step she then appears soon after saying she has wet herself because I didn't let her go to the toilet. She knows she can always go to the loo and never says she wants too. Just demand wees imho.

She is lying about something as well now.

Kids!!

1. don't ask her to help

1. don't use the naughty step - horrid thing anyway!

1. dunno - depends what she's lying about and why she's lying about I guess!

Even if I tell her it has the same result.

Nothing else other than naughty step/corner but thank you for your input.

She lied about stabbing her brother with a pen.

no, I mean, don't expect any help. Or find other ways of doing it. Like I do flylady so we set the timer for five minutes and work really fast together to see how tidy we can get the room. Or I say 'I want to play that game you want to play with you, but we need to tidy first - will get done faster if you help'. Or get a black bin sack and say 'I haven't time to do proper tidying so if I have to do it on my own I'll just put everything in here'

Why nothing else other than naughty step/corner? Have you explored other ways of parenting than punishments/rewards? Might find them less-stressful and more helpful - I have

Blimey re. the lying! Did she stab him and say she didn't? Or not stab him and say she did? Either way, all children will lie (especially if they think they'll have to sit on the naughty step after doing something!) - better to try to get them to learn not to do the things it will seem necessary to lie about and to make them feel safe coming to tell you about accidents etc.

Thanks.

Feel pretty crap about my parenting now.

Off to bath the kids.

I think linden was being constructive nab, don't take it the wrong way

agree with lindenlass, who has been very helpful and constructive, not in the slightest bit judgy, so no need to take offence imo

Sorry you feel crap about your parenting.

No offence taken.

I feeel crap and reading what I should be doing just made me feel crap as I should know it anyway.

Apologies Lindenlass if I annoyed you.

You won't believe what she has just done now.

Has to be a new thread I think.

What was it????

If she is watching something on tv or doing something, how about you say to her, in 10 mins when this prog has finished or I will give you 5 more mins to finish what you are doing how about we tidy together so then we can do xyz?

Mine are too big for the naughty step now, so punishments like no Wii, Xbox, playing out, pocket money have to be doled out. Although I did use the step, in fact we forgot DS2 was there and he fell asleep one Sunday afternoon

I usually want things tidy so we can go up for a bath.

They will only tidy up without fuss if they have asked to watch tv.

No wii, pocket money, etc.

nothing bothers them. they would rather go without than help.