Is he really not ready or should I go for it?

[KleineMaus]

My ds is just over 2.5 now. Before Christmas we started sitting him on the potty at bedtime, and he would sit and sit (as long as we read him stories) and sometimes did a pee, but it could take an hour and we started to wonder if it was a ruse to put off bedtime. We were glad that he would actually sit on the potty though. However, then our heating broke down and it was just too cold to be sat with a naked bum. Since then my mum's been making comments about potty training (she bought him some training pants the other day, which ds refuses to put on). So for the past couple of days I've put him on the potty in the morning and he's done a pee (but it's taken an hour!) and he doesn't seem to realise when he's done it, he just continues to sit and doesn't tell me. I don't feel like attempting to get him to do a poo on the potty, usually if you ask him if he needs a poo (when it's blatantly obvious he does) he denies it. Today he didn't want to sit on the potty so I just left his nappy off. He was dry for about an hour and a half (before peeing on my bed!) I think he does have some control. I feel like I should be making a start. Maybe we need accidents to make him more aware of what's going on. Or is he just not ready yet? Any advice gratefully received.

I tried twice with ds1 and both times gave up as had sililar signs to you. Then one morning at 2.5 he got up and of his own choice had a wee on the toilet so we went with it and he was potty trained in under a week.
Am trying now with ds2 who is 2.4 but getting a lack of response - he has done it a couple of times on his own on the potty but doesn't seem that controlled etc so am thinking of trying again in a couple of months.
hope that helps

He's not ready, IMO.

You need to ask your mum to back off.

My ds1 trained at 2y 10, and it took literally two days.

Dd trained at 3y 6m, but took 3w. It was only 2y later that we discovered she has a bladder condition that made it very nearly impossible for her to train any earlier.

Children - and mums - are different, and what worked for her and you may not be appropriate for you and your ds. Besides, current thinking is to train when the child is ready, not when convention dictates.

He doesn't sound as though he's ready to go cold turkey, but you should probably carry on doing what you're doing - just sitting him on a potty in a casual way, lots of praise if he happens to do something etc. You're doing the right thing. Did this with my dd for a while before moving on to anything else. Just gets him used to the potty and not scared of it. Don't force him into it, think that would make it much worse. And pooing seems to come much later anyway, ime. Is there a particular rush to do it? eg if he's going to a nursery that requires it or sth? But if it's taking him an hour to do a wee, he's obv not feeling the urge!

IMO He doesn't seem ready. All mine were just over three at the youngest before they potty trained. All of them took a few days and between them i think there were less than a handful of accidents.

I get really annoyed by people who push you to potty train your kids with stories of 1y olds who are trained etc. etc.

IMO kids who have accidents left right and centre are not potty trained, just kids in pants.

oops bit of a rant there

I agree with hairygodmother (great name ) nothing wrong with doing what you are doing, it's good to have them familiar with everything.

Thanks for the advice! I think you're right and I'll just carry on getting him to sit on the potty for a bit a couple of times a day and see how that goes. My mum keeps reminding me that he'll be going to playgroup soon (we're on the waiting list, not sure when it'll be), but he doesn't actually have to be dry for that, it would just be easier.

I'd keep going as you are with regular trips to the potty (e.g. when he wakes up, after nap, before bath), so that it becomes part of his routine. Not more than 5 or 10 mins though - an hour is really a bit too long! Praise any successes, but don't expect too much. Also, it's worth having regular nappy free time when you are at home, so he learns some control even if he's just waiting for you to put the nappy back on. If you do this for a month or so then you might find the whole cold turkey potty training is way easier when you do go for it as hopefully he will already have some idea of what is expected of him.