Should I put her back in nappies?

[Bakersman]

Hi I started potty training dd (now 2y3mo) 1 month ago because she seemed to be ready, was telling me when she needed to poo and was already using the potty successfully before bathtime etc. She started off pretty well & was telling me most of the time and whenever I put her on the potty she would wee.
However now she just wets herself and poos in her pants too - even if I have just asked her if she needs the potty.
She's not into star charts/ stickers so have been trying to bribe her with small Organix biscuits
I now just want to put her back in nappies as I'm fed up of the accidents and battles to get her on the potty when I think she may need it. But my instincts tell me to go back is not right. What do you think? It was much easier with my ds - although he was older.....

i had the same problem with my first two daughters. The time potty training worked was when they could hold their bladders rather than little and often - you can tell when you put a new nappy on and a second later it was full - they were almost immediatly clean and dry from then on. one was just 2 1/2 the other just over. mine are at home but some nurseries don't bother until they turn three so there's less mess!

I wouldn't go back. I would get sneaky. Never phrase toilet orders as questions -- eliminates the opportunity to say "no." Pick your battles; if you know she needs a wee, maybe a puddle is something you're prepared to clean up not to have a nuclear melt-down, but if you know she needs a poo, well, I'll take a melt-down if it means poo in toilet.

Is she getting her 2yr molars? DS has been in undies since 18 months, but whenever he's teething he can have up to 4 wee accidents a day. My theory is that the discomfort in his mouth overpowers the sensation of him needing a wee. His bladder is v. strong now, often has dry nights, but when he's teething or throwing a tantrum, all bets are off.

Thanks for the advice. She is in knickers again today so keeping fingers crossed.... Some of the wees she does are very big and she wakes from her 2-2.5 hr nap with a dry nappy so I guess she has bladder control.
She doesn't seem to be teething so I cant use that as an excuse. Its a mystery, and only Mr Ariel is benefiting
Still not decided whether to go back to nappies, will give it one last shot I guess.
PS Ches what on earth were you doing posting at 3.30am? That's dedication

This was my DD exactly, I could have written your post. She has been in knickers for the last 6 months and was completely inconsistent ranging from asking for the toilet at nursery, to several wee and poo accidents a day. I agonised countless times over putting her back in nappies, but it never felt like the right thing to do. The mention of nappies also upset her and she could cry "But I'm not a baby mummy". It has been a messy time and she is a stubborn little thing too. It has been frustrating at times because I knew she was physically capable. The things that have made the huge difference for us have been never asking her if she wants to go or putting her on the toilet. We just let her have the accident so that it put the ball firmly in her court which was where she wanted it to be. The only thing I might say is "It has been a long time since you had a wee, one might come along soon". We also stopped all the stickers/charts/bribing or rewarding with biscuits or chocolate/fanfares of praise etc and now all she gets is loving but simple "well done, you did it" or when she has an accident "Oh well, maybe next time". I don't know why it worked, although I suspect it was because we were always encouraging/asking her to go, overpraising her, and generally making it into a huge deal and once we stopped all that it has become a less stressful process for all of us.

I would recommend the My Wee Friend Poy=tty stickers though. They're an automatic reward in themselves, without needing to resort to giving something concrete as a rewars.
There are some on ebay ATM.

Thanks for your replies.
Bad Mummy, bad Mummy - I have given in and she is back in nappies. She hasn't asked to use the potty at all today
Will look into those stickers though for when we try again.

About a month after I potty trained DD2 she got a horrible stomach bug during which I was up to my ears in sick and diaorrhea for about 4 or 5 days. After this she had a total relapse and refused to poo in the loo. I found it VERY frustrating as she'd been absolutely fine before so I knew she could do it. I made far too much of a big deal of it, constantly asking her if she needed the loo, forcing her on if I thought she needed it, bribing her, etc etc, all to no avail (she'd run off and hide behind a curtain 30 secs after I'd taken her off the loo and poo in her pants). On various occasions I had to have her in nappies again if I was out and accidents were an unacceptable risk. At those times she never asked for the loo (even for wees which she was still fine with when in pants - she just happily used the nappy).

ANYWAY, after over 2 weeks and much deliberating about whether to go back to nappies full time (next baby due shortly and I wasn't coping well with pooey pants), I changed tack completely. I never mentioned the loo, never asked her if she needed it, and when she did a poo in her pants restricted myself to saying something along the lines of 'Oh poor you, never mind let's get you cleaned up, next time I'm sure you'll get to the loo in time'. Once the pressure was off her it was miraculous, 3 days of this approach and then suddenly she said she needed a poo, sat on the loo and hasn't had an accident since (a few weeks now).

It's a difficult approach as it's hard to hold oneself back, but it really worked for DD2. She knew what to do and didn't want to poo in her pants, I think she just found the whole thing a bit daunting and too much pressure and expectation from me and once I stepped back completely and let her take control she sorted it out. Anyway, you could maybe grit your teeth and try this approach for 3 or 4 days - expect lots of accidents and treat them with no comment except 'poor you, better luck next time' and see what happens? Give yourself a break for a few days with her back in nappies then give it another go.

Thanks Nelly, will give that a go in a few days - when I can face it again, lol! I think you may have hit the nail on the head as she is a typical terrible twos now and doesnt like to be made to do anything.
Good luck with the new baby.

Not posting at 3:30 am, posting from the US of A.

It's tough trying to get 'em to do stuff during the terrible twos, isn't it? I think it's important not to have a battle over the toilet. Luckily we have a boy and can just take him outside and pull his pants down instead of fighting over potty/toilet. If I every have another child you can bet it'll be a girl and all my smug tricks will be worthless.