"is that a man or a lady?" - how to deal with inappropriate comments and Qs

[SybilFaulty]

Hello

My DD1 (aged 3.10) has just started to ask me questions and make comments on people's appearance etc. She did the man / lady one in the post office to some poor transexual chap and asked my cleaner on Friday why she had a fat tummy and a brown tooth . The man and the cleaner were very kind and seemed to take it all in their stride, but I was horrified.

I have said to DD that it is not kind to ask questions or make comments on what someone looks like, but what else can / should I do? I am worried that she will really offend or upset someone.

Many thanks

My first is yet to arrive (in May) but this thread reminded me of the embarassment I once caused my parents when I was a toddler; thought it might amuse!

Walking along the sea front, we were passed by a fairly elderly gentleman who had obvioulsy lost an eye or had eye surgery recently.

Of course I piped up "Look Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! A pirate! A real life pirate!"

My father says he has never ever been so embarassed since ...!

I think this was another MNer: small child growing up in a ver white (ie non multi-cultural)area, sees a black person on the bus for the first time: 'Ooh look, Mummy, a Storymaker!'

A friend of mine to her Mum when she was about 3 'Mummy why has that lady got mould on her eye?' - green eyeshadow

I think these are hilarious, I can't wait for DS (7 mo) to be able to talk so that we can have some of our own!

MIL's DD made a lovely one - whenever they get Indian takeaway, they say the 'rice man' is coming (she never eats the curry, only rice) one saturday they went to watch her dad play cricket, and an Indian man was on the opposing team, and she blurted out (really loudly) is the rice man going to play?MIL says they're going to have to rethink what they call things.

These are hilarious. When DH was at nursery he came home and informed my MIL that there was a green girl in his class. MIL assumed said green girl must have been painting or something. Then one day they were in a restaurant and DH exclaimed loudly, 'Look mummy! A green man like the green girl at nursery!' Turns out DH is red/green/brown colourblind...

ds1 was very articulate very young and so pass-remarkable, he was always embarrassing me. Like the timehe asked why the MAN at the pool had such a fat tummy when it was a lady!

Once with DD on bus when she was about 3. Sitting opposite a friendly-looking punky-type girl who smiled at her. Punky girl had blue hair and tattoos and lots and LOTS of piercings in her face.

DD kept looking at her. And nudging me. I kept hushing her. I was desperately hoping I could stop her from making an embarrassing comment for the length of the short journey.

"Daddy dat -"
"yes, yes, darling,shhh."

"Daddy dat lady got - "
"yes, darling, mm, ooh, look a digger!"

"But daddy dat lady she - "
"Ooh, come on, our stop!"

Out on the street as bus pulls away, breathe sigh of relief.

DD says:

"daddy I jus going to say dat lady got a NICE STRIPEY JUMPER like mine."

Aw, UQD, your dd sounds gorgeous! ( Did I mention I have 4 boys?)

Well, that was when she was a cute 3... she is now a stroppy nearly-9!