My 2 year behaviour is really getting me down!

[Ash80]

My ds1 who is 25 months has changed from a happy well behaved child to a moody completly unmanegable child!
We are in the begining stages of toilet training and he used to sit on the toilet and do a pooh every morning. The past couple of days he just refueses to sit on the toilet even when i am sure he needs to do a pooh, then a couple of minutes later he does one in his nappy . I was sooo annoyed.

His nursery are also helping with the tiolet training, maybe they are rushing him are making him dislike the toilet or maybe he is just exerting control! He always says NO to everthing, getting dressed, eating, going out to the park, everything. I afraid to say i actually dislike him at the moment. I try so hard to be calm and positive, but i can't manage anymore! I totally ignore my 3 months ds, so my ds1 doesn't feel jelous, but thats working either!

Anyone have any ideas, im going crazy

Am sorry about all the typo mistakes.
I meant my 2 year old sons behaviour!, and me ignoring my ds2 is not working........

bump......anyone???

my 23mo DD has been bandying "no!" around as a catchphrase for a little while. I think it's more about exercising a little bit of control rather then not wanting to do things. She will often say "no" to things that she actually does want to do eg

Me - "DD, would you like to read the Gruffalo?"
DD - "Nooo!"
DD then goes to bookshelf, takes down gruffalo, and brings it to me waiting for me to read

If something is non-negotiable eg getting dressed, nappy change, offer a small choice eg "it's time to get dressed. Shall we do it in mummy's room or dd's room?" "it's time to sit on the potty. Would you like to read Little Princess or Noddy while you're on the potty?"

giving warnings a couple of minutes before a change in activity seem to help as well.

Our 24 month old is pretty tricky too atm. He sounds v like paddingtonbore's DD, in fact, so for every demand from me, there has to be a concession too if I want him to do anything if we want to avoid a meltdown. A couple of things I'd say (I also have a 3 year-old ):

Firstly, I think a lot of it has to do with control; they're learning at this age about what they can and can't control, so if you have a willful one, perhaps try to negotiate a bit - not great long discussions, but letting him have a bit of what he wants along with all the kerjillion things he can't do.

To be honest, I might be tempted to drop the toilet training for now. We didn't even bother trying with ds1 until he was about 2.7, and then it took a matter of days - I think in even 6 months you might find it is much easier, as your ds will be a bit more rational.

Also, is he teething? DS2 has his back molars coming in and he's a blardy nightmare - his sleep has gone to pot and he gets up at completely unreasonable hours of the morning making ridiculous demands - sit on the carpet mummy, I want to do colouring in the sitting room mummy (at 3.30am...).

Finally try to retain your sense of humour (which is easier said than done I realise). But I do think that our mood has a massive effect. When we are grumpy with him, it just makes him worse.

Awww. I would certainly remove toilet training from the equation.

The 'No' thing is quite normal. I found routine and a running dialogue of 'this is what is coming next' was the way to go. And if they did ever say 'No' I would giggle and tickle and say: 'That would be very funny wouldn't it? A boy in the park in his pyjamas. A very hungry boy at playgroup with no breakfast in his tummy.' etc and dress them sit them up at the table anyway, but very breezily and never cross, with lots of distracting joking and tickling as I got on with whatever it was that was being resisted.

You have a very short gap between children.
My two littlies are 18 months and 3 so I know what hard work it is. [respect emoticon]

I would just put nappies back on and forget the toilet training for a bit. He will soon let you know if he is ready to give it another go.

Agree re giving "choices". Rather than "It's breakfast time" ask if he wants Weetbix/Toast for breakfast. Red t-shirt/yellow t-shirt. Dinosaur or teddy to take to the park. Also try and get him "helping" a bit with some household chores. My DS loved hanging washing at that age (by hanging I mean screwing wet clothes into a ball and draping them over the drying rack).

Ignore tantrums!

Get some time for yourself whenever poss!

Hey Swedes! Haven't seen you for ages (haven't been on much recently - am confined to cubby hole working most of the week at the moment. Could perhaps change name to womaninthecupboard to match yours. Have you gone mad since we last spoke?).

Thank you for all your messages.
I will stop the toilet training for a while, as it really getting both of us quite stressed.
Hopefully this 'NO' moody phase shall end soon. I just need to remember to calm and patient!!!

agree with giving toddler choices, but have you also thought about sleep issues? Our neighbour's son is nearly three and dropping his nap, and he's horrible, tired and grumpy and negative the whole time. It might be worthwhile making your nightime routine extra secure, ie-same bath time, book, drink etc, but moving it a few minutes earlier evey night till he's going to sleep closer to 6.30/7pm. It's knackering being a toddler, and they need more sleep than you realise. My two year old had a 2 hour nap every day and is in bed by 7pm, and we often have to wake him at 7.30am. He also rarely tantrums, except when he doesn't nap/goes to bed late, in which case he's a nightmare

That interesting naomi83, maybe he is tired!
We have recently dropped his nap cause he would not go to bed at usual time of 7.30pm

He now is in usually in bed by 6pm.