i nust be the worst parent

[bumbly]

lo bene ill for a while

is always a whinger and always clingy..but now worse and it has got to me

after 4 days non stop reading books to him and being sat on sofa non stop

he is even mores the worst whinger and crying nonstop

so much of a headache now

and picking up vomit and cooking and changing runny poos

i was a bit mean to him by having to leave him crying with daddy to mop uo vomit

he cfries if leave him for a sec

exasperating and now driving me up the end - i know he is ill but is like this anyway

i also tried ot make him eat and was a bit stren

and oh boy the cries

maybe i should give parenting up?

Oh bumbly - we have met frequently on these threads over the last year

I am feeling exactly the same as you atm. My ds is 21 months and has been non-stop whinging for the last few weeks. He's always been quite high maintenance, and has had highs and lows (eg was great over Xmas), but has been an utter nightmare for weeks. My temper is at boiling point as I just can't stand it any more. Every meal time is a tantrum (he just cries for bread and toast ), impossible to take him anywhere I need to go as he yells, cries and whinges, and is totally disobedient. I have just felt like running away for the last few days.

One thing I do not beat myself up over is being stern though. IIRC your ds is about 18 months? I really do think that is old enough to start understanding consequences (to an extent), or at least him starting to realise he can't get his own way all the time.

I am trying to be consistent now - I don't mean shouty, but am trying not to give in too much just to keep the peace, and hoping this will help set boundaries longer term. eg if he takes one look at his food and has a tantrum I will simply take him down without a word and he'll realise he'll go hungry. Even if it means a 10 minute tantrum first!

It's so much harder when they're ill too.

You aren't at all mean leaving him with his dad while you clean up!

Does his dad spend much time with him? It sounds like you have the majority of the childcare? If possible, could you leave him with his dad for a day (tomorrow?) and just spend time away from him? It would at least give you a break!

Sorry, don't know what else I can say to give practical help, but just wanted you to know you are not on your own, and your ds's behaviour is not because of you or anything you've done/haven't done.

oh fatti thanks for support

bug hugs back to you

and to top it up little one been vomiting today

no wonder he didnt want food

i feel sooooooooooo terrible disciplining him to eat when he didnt want to becuase he was ill

feel utterly awful to point of being sick

so hard to differentiate between being ill and being simply difficult

Not sure if you're still on this thread, but anyway...

Really, really, really don't beat yourself up over the food thing. Yes, he's probably not got much appetite if he's ill, so maybe just let it go till he's better. But don't worry about it, please. As you say, when they spend a lot of time whinging generally, it is so hard to know how to differentiate. It's totally understandable when your patience has been run so low, we are only human after all!

What about your dh looking after him for a bit generally though? Is this possible? Just having a break even for a few hours every now and then makes a difference. It is enough to drive you mad when you are with them all the time, especially when they are hard work. Do you ever get the chance to do this?

kid more and more ill now so no chnace for break

thanks for lovely post!!!

Aw, hope he's better soon . And you. I'll keep looking out for posts from you. x

it's horrid when they're ill.

Let dh help lots and retire to bed

problem if i go tro bed you hear hin screaming for me