Becoming a stay at home mum

[monkeypinkmonkey]

Hi everyone, It's my 1st time posting.
I've been working 40+ hours a week since my lil one was 4 months and he is 3 now. Due to a change in childcare situation I now no longer can work so I've become a stay at home mummy. I've been off now for 3 weeks and i'm pulling my hair out. My little boy and me seem to be at logger heads with each other, he seems to be in a constant tamtrum. Just getting through the day without major trauma is becoming near impossible. Simple things like he is back to wearing nappies at night, the 'night time' dummy is back during the day and cbeebies is on the tv. I try and take him out in his pushchair for his nap and it gets me out. Any ideas is this normal? how do we get past it? was thinking of making daily plans to put up but don't want to over plan our life. any ideas would be really helpful, or just to know I'm not the only one who has gone through this.
Thanks
monkeypinkmonkey

It'll probably take a little while for both of you to get used to the new situation so don't worry that it'll last forever. Are there any toddler groups or classes in your area that you can go to? It will allow both of you to socialise a bit and break up your day.

What sort of things does he tantrum about? If it's always around the same time or over the same thing then distraction at the very start might be the way to go. If it just happens randomly and he's in a safe place then you can afford to pick your battles and just leave him to tantrum for a bit and give him a big hug when he stops.

I have a DS who is 4.8 and I've always found that he needs a really good run around in the morning like a puppy, otherwise he gets frustrated and hyper.

Does he go to nursery or pre-school at all? It might be worth investigating to give you both a break, but I'm sure you'll be fine after a while. It's a big difference between working and being a SAHM, I found the change a bit challenging too.

Is he on a waiting list for a local pre-school / playgroup / nursery class? Should be free the term after he turns 3.

Have a look on childcarelink.gov for your local Children's Information Service for everything going on near you.

Parent and toddler groups are a must for sanity - I'm guessing you don't have many mum friends with kids the same age. Cheaper than softplay and incs a cuppa and biscuit.

Otherwise, libraries are great. Since they have signs everywhere saying 'Libraries love Babies' I take that to mean they also love my slightly autistic 4yr old charging around happily sorting CDs for them.

Go for a walk (call it a pretend schoolrun) everyday, even if it's raining - just wrap up in waterproofs. Playgrounds are great in good weather obviously, you can just sit and read a book.

Baking cakes together is always nice with just one child (I have 3 and find I have to do it secretly or there are fights!)

The more you get out of the house the more energy you will have. I find I am more tired the days we stay in.

I agree, it will take you both some time to get used to the situation. Think about how big a deal it is for you to be doing something totally different with your days now- he is the same. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.... I think you will both get to love it.

For the moment, don't worry about the changes in his behaviour, these will improve again as he becomes more secure in the new state of affairs.

Do try to plan something for each day, but one of the good things is that you can have lazy days if needed, which I bet you could never do before.

I think a mix of activities and time at home is the best. I second things like bouncing babes, libraries, etc. and then cake baking, stories, Cbeebies, puzzles at home.

Try to arrange times to see your own friends with children- you get to have coffee and gossip and he has something new to do.

He should be eleigible for some nursry time and this will also give him some more structure. It will also give you some time for yourself if you are missing the routine and interaction of the workplace.

Wishing you both a fab, fun time.

Thanks for all the advice.
I should have said he goes to a private nursery 2 1/2 days a week but becuase I've stopped work this again is up in the air and i may have to cut this down coz it's too expensive until I get his early education grant.
All the parent and toddler groups in my area are full.Argh!But my name is on loads of waiting lists
I really like the sound of the libary. In fact it's on my way to pick him up so I think I will pop in.
Bran, his tamtrums are generally about the same things, getting clothes on, turning tv off, having bath basically anything that I want him to do.
Will let you all know in a few weeks how we are getting on. x

Hope you've had a good day. Libraries also do free storytime/singing sessions so you can move in!

And you can always bribe incentivise good behaviour out and about with a choice of charity shop toy or a biccie in a cafe.

Maybe the tantrums are a trust issue. He's probably still expecting you to go back to full time work at any moment so sees committing to daytime mumfun as a risk. You'll both get there eventually.

I'm back at home after being at work for the past year. Think my 2 have found it more of a shock than I have. I've tried to be really organised and focus on one problem a week. One of the first week I tried to get them into putting on their clothes and gave them a sticker on a chart for everything that I got on. Then in the evening I'd give them a sticker for putting all their clothes in the laundry basket or whatever.

Although there's no miracle cure - I've found it really helps to focus on one problem at a time rather than to change everything at once.

an outing every day at three, preferably with others sometimes and on your own sometimes so you don't go mad either way. I like going out in the morning, then quiet time after an early lunch (tv or sleep), then 'helping' you around the house, or den building, crafts etc. Clear boundaries preferably similar to at nursery. Muddy puddle walks, visiting the ducks, watching the trains at the train station, tricicle in the park, pre-school gym class, oh those were the days

Yes 3pm gives the swings and slides a chance to dry/thaw.

If you are in London, there are the 1 o'clock clubs which are great!

Maybe you can look on here for meet-ups to meet some other SAHM's?