Nothing is tmi - help with starting out please!

[JustKeepSwimming]

DS1 (my DC1) is 2.8 and we have been talking about pants, potties, toilets, etc. for a while but no sign of any awareness of anything. Well he knows if he's done a poo as he says 'not finished poo yet' because he doesn't want a nappy change!

Yesterday about 5pm he announces he would like to wear pants....so up we go find all his pants he got bought for Christmas (optimistically!) and choose a pair (with reindeer on ). He wore them until bedtime, so 2 hours with no wee or poo in that time. Think we were just plain lucky actually....
We have a seat insert thingie and lots of potties. he won't sit on a potty at all. and would hardly sit on the insert. So, he has the willingness to be a 'big boy' and wear 'big boy pants' but has never done anything on the potty or toilet.

I have lots of questions but don't know where to start:

• what do i do about wee and/or poo on carpets?!
• best ways to clean up wee and/or poo accidents in pants?
• how do i persuade him to sit on either thing?
• do i want him to learnt to use a potty or go straight to toilets?
• what we will do when we're out somewhere and he won't use a potty then? and not near a loo.
• and the answer to any other question you think i should be asking?

Thanks

I didn't toilet train my ds at all he did himself. At 2 1/2 he started pre school twice a week where he wore pull ups and they took him to the loo with the other kids and when he weed he got a sticker. At home he had a potty downstairs and upstairs but wasn't interested so I did nothing.
On a friday we see friends and the little girl is toilet trained so every week when she went he wanted to go so I let him but at home he wasn't interested.
When he got to be about 3 he wore underpants over his pull ups and we told him when he was a big boy and could wee on the toilet he could loose his nappies.
My mum and mother in law took him to the loo when he was with them.
Anyway one day he just announced he wanted to wear just underpants we just let him and he wee'd twice on the floor ( I used pampers care mats to cover the couch and wiped up with kitchen roll and detol spray. Then no more accidents although he saved his poo for his nappy at night.
A few weeks later he started shouting when he needed a poo and used the toilet on an insert then out of the blue his pull ups were dry in the morning so we took them off him and he has has just one accident. He insists on wiping his own bum and is better at it than my dh!!!
So if you want a stress free time i'd let him do himself and go with the flow!!!

Plus within a week or so he stopped using the insert. He wees sitting down unless he has just watched his dad the he stands up

also for when your out buy a pottete boots about £12 we only used it once cause he can hang on - i think that's cause we waited till he was older

Thanks Chrimbo
I am hoping that because he has waited much longer than all his friends (esp the girls, and i know girls generally do it earlier but i'm starting to feel under pressure as the boys are sorting it out too!) that we might be able to skip the potty altogether (may get a potette anyway though, thanks) and he might be able to hold on longer.

Have got some washable nappies that are his size but he's never worn that might help as he'd be able to 'feel' more when he's wet?

Hi, well it's good that he knows that he's doing a poo so he does have some awareness. In answer to your questions, use some 1001 carpet cleaner when you've got up the worst , then scrub a lot! I've heard good old bicarb is very good for stains/smells. The best way to clean up accidents in pants is to hold the pants in the flow of the toilet then chuck them in the washer. With regards to the potties and insert thingy, I'd continue to try and encourage him to sit on both by making a big fuss when he does do it, even it's for a couple of seconds, that way he will be more likely to do it because it pleases you. My DD started with the potty but I quickly tried to get her used to the toilet so I'd advise you to start introducing the toilet sooner rather than later. I just hated emptying it! When you're out, get one of those tarvel potty potette things, ours has been invaluable, i think you get them from mothercare, so useful when out and about.
Above all, my advice would be to go for it if you think he is ready, IME they respond well when they are ready for it, ditch the nappies and put the pants on, deal with a few accidents now rather than loads and loads down the line because of confusion between nappies and pants. HTH good luck.

Thanks Jic i'm not looking forward to emptying the potty either!
but i keep telling myself that i clean up poo (& wee but not so much) in nappies so a few clean ups of poo & wee out of nappies is the same and shows light at the end of the tunnel

My ds was quite 'late' in potty training - most (but not ALL) of his peers were in pants befre he was (we tried to start when he was about 2 and a half, but that attempt went nowhere as he had an incredible capacity to hold in and would only wee twice during the day, whereas friends dcs were weeing every 2 hours or so, giving them many more chances to use the potty, give praise, allow their dc to feel uncomfortable if they did wet or soil themselves etc. It became an issue even getting ds to sit on his potty so we gave up until he was just over 3 (we had a holiday just after his 3rd birthday and I decided it would be easier for flights etc if he was still in nappies!).
It was easy in the end - I suggested one day that he wore pants and used the potty 'like a big boy' and that was that. Of course we had a few accidents, and I still take a change of clothes out with me just in case, but he got it within a couple of days, whereas my friends who had started earlier were having accidents for WEEKS.
I did put myself under pressure to get it done, esp as ds is a summer baby and will be very young starting school, but in the end it really was better to wait until he was ready.

You were right MrsM - and i trying to resist the pressure as everyone keeps asking when we are going to start - as if it's up to me not him!
I was happy with the idea of waiting (tbh, life in nappies is easier, esp with 2 LOs) and he'll be 3 in May so we could aim for better weather and be outside more.
will see what he wants to do today....

And in answer to your questions...

I just soaked up the wee, either with a clean nappy or kitchen towel, then cleaned with a soapy solution in a spray bottle. Same of poo, although that was picked up in toilet paper and flushed away. In the early days, we stayde in and ds went without pants, which gave him a better chance of getting to the potty. Also , we had it nearby to start off with, then moved it into the loo.
When we got back into clothes, he wore jogging bottoms for a long time (not his usual jeans), as they were easy to get down in a hurry for me first and later for him to do himslef.
If he did a poo in his pants, I often just threw them away (very wasteful, I know) or chucked them in a bucket with nappy soak, then washed them.
My ds would happily sit on a potty , took a while to get used to the toilet, but a good, secure child seat helped (friend also had a big step so that her ds could put his feet on something while he was sitting rather than just have his legs dangling.). My ds refused to use a potette as he said it wasn't a real potty!
Also, kept antibac wipes in the loo so that after empytying the potty I could give it a quick wipe and it was ready for next time.

Good luck!

Same with poo - I really should preview before I post!

• what do i do about wee and/or poo on carpets?!

You say "Oh well, not to worry. Shall we try and get the next one in the loo?" And cheerfully involve him in cleaning up the mess.

• best ways to clean up wee and/or poo accidents in pants?

Poo down the loo and put everything else in a hot wash. You will discover that touching poo with your hands doesn't cause instant death.

• how do i persuade him to sit on either thing?

You can't really. He'll decide he wants to sooner or later. You could put his fave teddy on the potty? Or tell him he's not allowed to use the potty under any circumstances and then leave him alone with the potty .

• do i want him to learnt to use a potty or go straight to toilets?

We went straight to the toilet. Less faff.

• what we will do when we're out somewhere and he won't use a potty then? and not near a loo.

When are you more than a few minutes from a loo? And if he can't hold for a couple of minutes he's not ready.

• and the answer to any other question you think i should be asking?

Don't stress. I say this as someone who stressed. All the signs were there, dd wanted to do it so we had sticker charts and exciting new knickers with Iggle Piggle on them and we carried a potty around everywhere we went and plenty of muslins for the accidents and it was SUCH a faff. Then I let dd go back in to nappies for a couple of months. Then she announced that NOW she was ready and we've moved straight from nappies to knickers and using the loo with not one accident. We go out and about, to toddler playgroups, to the shops, out to dinner and she hasn't had an accident. She stops what she's doing no matter now interesting and comes to find me if she needs to go. At home I don't even know about it until I hear her flush the chain. She's 2.8.

All very helpful thanks

This morning he has shown no interest AT ALL in anything potty/loo-related. won't wear pants, or washable nappies. So in normal nappies for now.

Will store up all the advice and let him choose for now. Just wish people would stop asking me when I'm going to potty train him!
We'll get there, one day

ok, weird fantasy i know!

I suggest you do wees standing up. Put some cereal in the toilet bowl to make it fun and let him see if he can sink it. Drop poos in the toilet at nappy changes and tell him poos go in the toilet, let him watch them flush.