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Crying at school drop off - how best to handle this?

6 replies

snickersnack · 06/02/2009 09:31

Dd has been in pre-reception since September. The first term was absolutely fine, she had a lovely time, made loads of friends and settled in very well.

Since Christmas, something has definitely changed ? she?s fine about the idea of going, but when she does get there there are floods of tears, clinging to me or our nanny who drops her off on the days I?m working. Apparently she usually settles down after 15 minutes or so, but it?s still fairly harrowing. I?ve tried talking to her about school ? who she plays with, what she does and so on. She became very close friends with two girls in her class last term (who already knew each fairly well from nursery) and now she often says that they won?t play with her, which breaks my heart. I know she gets on well with the other children, she?s had playdates with them and so on and we?ve talked about how it?s nice to play with lots of different people, but she?s definitely very sad about something. I don?t know if it?s just being left out or whether it?s something else ? she?s only 4, so it?s hard to get much out of her that makes sense.

I?m wondering if I should make an appointment to speak to her teacher, or whether that?s over-reacting. I really try hard not to be a helicopter parent ? I know she has to learn to find her own way ? but she?s so small, and seems so sad, and it's really upsetting me.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
littlelyn · 06/02/2009 11:56

Hi - it does sound as though something has happened recently at school which is playing on her mind. I think it would be perfectly reasonable to seek an appointment with her teacher. You may not find out the root cause of what has upset your daughter but you and the teacher should be able to work out a solution to put a stop to the tears. Maybe arranging to meet another child in her class at the school gate each morning so that they can go in together?

Smee · 06/02/2009 12:06

I'd talk to the teacher too. She might think of a way to help or know what the problem is.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2009 15:35

i agree talk to the teacher, it may be something really little, but has effected her

you are not over reacting, you just want your little dd to be happy again

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snickersnack · 07/02/2009 18:31

Thank you. I did speak to her teacher yesterday, she said they are all a bit out of sorts because of the weather. She also hinted, without actually saying so, that she had noticed some issues with the three of them, and would keep a close eye on her. She also came up with some good practical suggestions - letting her take a favourite toy in, bringing her in a bit earlier than usual for a couple of days so she could get established before everyone else gets in and starts running around. Glad I spoke to her - feel a bit better now.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 08/02/2009 12:42

glad you spoke to the teacher and good that she noticed things and will keep a beedy eye on her

cloudsandsunshine · 10/02/2009 18:34

My DS1 was the same, we then found out that the dinner lady had said something about his sandwiches(has never had tuna sandwiches at school again, thanks DL). It resulted in tears, not wanting to go to school, have lunch etc. It gradually got better but the turning point was taking a small toy in every day (just allowed in the playground). It was a real cruch for him at a difficult time and made a massive difference. Hope it works for you.

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