PLEASE help me before i do something i regret

[LucyEllensmummy]

to my DDs Ponyville ponies!!! I swear to God, i am going to go mad - and so is DP! If i have to pretend to be a fecking flutter pony or unicorn any more i am going to put them in a saucepan and melt them!

It all started innocently enough - DP, being the indulgent daddy that he is, bought DD some Ponyville ponies (they are minature my little ponies and they are really sweet actually) when we were walking round tesco. DD didn't seem interested so i "lost" them on the way round as they were quite expensive - but, true to form, she noticed - queue tantrum, quickly averted by replacing said ponies. Thinking Shit, weve just wasted £8 she wont play with them. If only, if only that were true!!

So now, she has more ponies than i can count, well about 8 - all the houses and a ponyville playground. She ADORES these bloody horses. Great - you would think, but not when the first thing she does every morning is arrive in my bedroom with handful of ponies - "please play" "Lucy, mummy has just opened her eyes, give me a break" "pleasey please" "in a minute" "PLAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY" through gritted teeth. And it doesn't stop - DP came home late and it made DDs bedtime late - he is still up there now being fucking sprinkly fecking snowflake or whatever the latest thing is called. And we can never get it right - we live on a knife edge - NOOOOOOOOO you didn't say it right mummy, you are naughty now! Say XYZ, you be flutter pony ad nauseum

I fell asleep on her bed earlier - she woke me up by bashing me on the head with the bastard horses, "mummy, i have no one to play with" "play with your horses darling, ive got tummy ache" (PMT) "PLAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY"

Honestly, the only respite i get is the five minutes i can sneak on here and when she is at playschool. I would lose the ponies, but if it wasn't them it would be something else.

So, giant winge over - DD is 3, and a lovely little girl. But for about 3-4 months now, all she has wanted to do is role play and it is properly driving me demented. I just can't DO role play!! I CAN@T do it, i have NO imagination!!! I am finding it impossible to engage her in anything else - arty stuff - she is a nightmare just now as she wants to do it all and then can't but wont let me show her - we used to have lovely times together doing this. Puzzles, nup, not interested, farm set - no way, cars? Well yes, we managed to play cars today - only because the fucking ponies had to ride in them!!! I tried lego - "do you want to do some building?" "yes mummy" looks excited, i get the bricks out - she goes and gets her horses - "we can make them a swimming pool" - Queue an hour of "NO, mummy, NOT on there, you have to make her jump over it"

I mean, its verging on OCD!!!! im climbing the walls - please tell me its a phase, i am dreaming about the bastard things!

ooh thank goodness we are not in UK and have never heard of these ponies.

My dd went through a phase when she was about 2 of re-enacting all the old testament Bible stories. We had to put winnie the pooh in a shoe box with the lid on to be moses then all the other teddies were the bad people who tried to kill him. And lots of tea towels on heads for the Christmas story of course. At one point she actually had a doll named Jesus which she had to put under her pyjamas in bed every night so she could be Mary.

I remember going crazy with it at the time but now I look back quite fondly.

it does get better, I promise.

I have had obsessed 3yr olds, but thankfully the only one to drive me insane was my last 3yr old. I swear I was held sane by the others having younger siblings upon which to inflict their "NO, do it like this, like that you are doing it WRONG" ad nauseum!!!!

DS2 however, well, I swear my walls are damaged down to the foundations with me banging my head against them so often. he drove me potty (and in fact I blame him for my coffee and wine addiction!).

he loves (still ) little figures........be they pirates, cowdboys, little people, scooby, spongebob..........anything and everything.

and then, DD3 has a dolls house, he loves that too.

now tho, he has my old dolls house, and do you know why......??

I will tell you why..........

one day, he is 3, others are all at school, and mummy is not well, so he no-one to inflict his playneeds on.

I direct him to DD3's dolls house, thinking that I will only have to tidy it if he does mess it (bear in mind that this was before I realised DD3s obsession with knowing EXACTLY where every teeny tiny thing is in said house).

well...........

DS2 decided that as punishment to my failing interest in what he is doing.....((I had agreed to listen and comment from the settee.....I dozed))........well.......he lined up all the dolls along the roof and flicked them all off, loudly saying "die dolly, die".

oh the horror of tiny bent bodies dolls lying on the floor by the house.

I put them back, telling him all the while how he must never do that again, poor dolls etc etc.

and then DD3 comes home.

and hell breaks loose

she notices that the dolls are not how she left them

asks why

DS2 gives very visual demonstration..........

cue melt-down from DD3

and me feeling distinctly worse in my illness!

now, it does indeed get better, I do assure you of this, but in the meantime, you will either going slightly more insane, or wine will beckon you and then you will be able to role play quite well

I will say tho................copy, paste and print youor OP, and keep it for when DD is older. you will have a giggle looking back, and it may help her if she has a DD like herself!

Dd 3.5 role plays fairy stories and of course I have to be the bad lady/witch/goblin/jack frost/prince although teddy and bunny will do for ugly sisters.

And of course the worst part is that I have to do it EXACTLY right or there is much wailing and distress. My heart totally sinks. I can do it passably well - and I don't mind for say 15-20 minutes. But after that I feel as though I'm trapped in some surreal groundhog day and my brain starts to melt.

Before it all started I used to look forard to the role-playing stage as a break from the endless puzzles. Oh how I look fondly upon those poor neglected, dusty jig-saws now.....

Ha ha ha

We have the same with dd (4) and polly pockets and play mobil people. We currently have to be from the following stories:

Peter pan
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Calamity Jane
Sound of Music

If she's playing seven brides for seven brothers, she has to be all the brides and I have to be Adam, Benjamin, Caleb, Daniel, Ephraim, Frank or bloody Gideon.

I also get told exactly what to say .

She's now realised that if she tells me what to do, I just stop playing, so she now says "come and play with me and I won't say what happens", so at least I can kill people off quite quickly