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He won't tell me that he needs to wee or poo!

17 replies

Ash80 · 05/02/2009 17:49

My ds is 2.5 years and we have tried to potty train for the past few months. The first time we went cold turkey, and he had no clue what was going on. So we waited and tried again after a few months.
He now sits on the toilet several times a day after lots of encouragement from me. He does pee and even poo on the toilet, which is great. Unfortunetly though he never tells me that he needs to pee or poo and if i don't force him to sit on the toilet he would haappily do it in his nappy and not tell me that hes done it. Im not sure what to do, will he ever tell me that he feels a pee or poo is coming???

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Minxie1977 · 05/02/2009 18:04

He will tell you but it is such a frustrating time. We took a week off to potty train DSD, ditched the nappies during the day and did a star chart. A silver star for a wee and gold for a poo, 5 stars was a treat.

uptomyeyes · 05/02/2009 18:23

I've just come out the other side of potty training DS3. I deliberately waited until two weeks before he started nursery (ie so he would realise that other children his age use the toilet and don't wear nappies - it was the biggest motivator for my older children) he was 2.9 yrs. I tried to be quite laid back about it, I'd put him in pull ups if we were going out to do something that I really didn't want to be ruined by wet pants or me being on tenterhooks. At home he wore no trousers and pants for a few days and then just pants, eventually as we became more confident the trousers went on too. DS refused to sit on the potty but after a few weeks we worked out he wanted to stand upto wee (like his older brothers) this is difficult on a potty (relaticely small area to aim at) Little DS3 worked out that if he turned the pot upside down he could use it really effectively to wee in.

I'm still not sure he understands the question:

"Do you need a wee?" but he does understand "Is the wee coming".

Your DS will get the hang of it, but he is still really little for potty training(in my book anyway) Does it really matter if he is in pull ups for another 3 months?

Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:29

It doesn't matter if he is still in pull ups for another couple of months. Its just that i feel he knows, he just can't be bothered. Or maybe im wrong!

Once he was on the toilet, and i told him that we had to go out soon, he told me to shut the door and leave him on the toilet. A couple of minutes later...he shouts ' I did it' really pleased with himself. He has done this several times

Its all so confusing,

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Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:33

What i don't get is in our parents day.... kids used to be potty trained much earlier on right?
How in world did they manage that? Is seems impossible to me.

All his classmates and friends are potty trained, but ds doesn't seem least bit bothered by it. He does love wearing pants or pull ups though.

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gingerninja · 05/02/2009 18:34

If it's any concilation my DD who is 2.4 shows no interest in potty training and firmly denys that she's performing even when it's pretty obvious that she is. I really can't be bothered to fight it so I'm not even contemplating potty training for a while. I'm sure it'll be a lot easier when they're 'ready'

gingerninja · 05/02/2009 18:35

I guess they didn't go out and asked the question 2 million times a day. Just the thought of that makes me dread starting.

Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:41

Yup, i tried that. I began sounding like a robot. He was like ' NOOOOOOOOO' .

so now i just put him on the toilet, first thing in the morning, after meals and the odd time in between! Its quite difficult as i have a 2 month of baby too.

Maybe i should leave it for a few months again!

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Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:42

i mean a 2 month old baby.

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Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:42

i mean a 2 month old baby.

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GColdtimer · 05/02/2009 18:46

It is frustrating but the do get it eventually. i reckon we were potty training DD from August when she was 2.4 until christmas. We seemed to take one step forward and 2 back. Her relapses did seem to co-incide with other development. For example, the day she started properly singing, we had about 5 accidents. i just don't think they can do it all.

Star charts helped us a lot but it is frutrating. Especially as others seem to be done and dusted in 3 days!

We also went straight to pants and dealt with the fallout. it was a messy time!

Good luck.

Ash80 · 05/02/2009 18:50

Thanks twofalls. When i last put only pants,he had no clue the pee was coming from him or that he should be on the toilet!! He wasn't even bothered by the wetness.

I feel that contradicts the fact that once he is actually sitting on the toilet he does a pee!

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theyoungvisiter · 05/02/2009 18:53

They often don't tell you at first, you have to remind at strategic intervals and insist if the interval gets too long.

My rule of thumb is a reminder 2 hours after a wee and then a forcible trip to the potty 4 hours after a wee.

Star chart / sticker bribery never goes astray! It was after we kntroduced stickers in return for wees that DS magically "got it"

Perhaps though he's just not ready? No harm in waiting a few more months. Wr tried at 2.4 and he wasn't ready, then again at 2.7 and it only took 2 weeks for wees, longer for poos alas!

Ash80 · 05/02/2009 19:11

Silly question, how do you make a star chart? do you just draw columns next to a drawing of a poo? how do you draw a wee?

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Ash80 · 05/02/2009 19:13

I definetly going to do one, as they have been many votes for it and its success. who knows maybe this is whats missing for it to all click into place

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Ash80 · 05/02/2009 19:16

im off to bed know as its late in this part of the world. Goodnight all, and thanks for all your input.

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theyoungvisiter · 05/02/2009 21:48

I think the star chart depends on how you want to do it. Personally I didn't bother with the chart because DS didn't seem very interested in the notion, he just liked the stickers. So he got a star sticker for every wee that went in the potty, and a special more exciting kind of sticker for every poo and he stuck them in various places like his tee-shirt, or the fridge, or on his potty or whatever!

Then instead of saying "do you want to do a wee" I would say "do you want to earn a sticker?" which got a positive response more often. I would often give a sticker just for trying even if no wee came, because he was quite reluctant to sit on the potty at first.

One friend gave her DD a little book and each page was a day, she stuck stars on that day for each wee or poo. this had the advantage of being quite portable so she was able to take it to nursery and they carried on there.

Another friend had a star chart with a column for wees, a column for managing his own pants and trousers, a column for poos, and a column for going a whole day without an accident. There was a different kind of sticker for every column.

Another friend just had a blank piece of card she stuck on the fridge and the stars just accumulated and it got more and more starry - no particular system.

And another friend had a column system of ticks working towards a reward after so many wees/poos. I can't remember what the reward was - a toy I think.

So lots of possibilities - I think you just have to tailor it to your child. If they like the idea of storing up points then perhaps the reward kind is the way to go - DS is more of an instant gratification kind of boy so stickers were popular with him and he wasn't bothered about keeping them, or counting them up over time.

Anabellesmumanddad · 06/02/2009 06:25

We have a chart. I just did columns for days and rows for weeks. She helped me draw all over it for decoration and it is stuck on the wall next to the toilet. One sticker for a wee, two for poos and once she has five she gets a temporary tattoo (she loves those things!). The best advice someone gave me is to take her with me everytime I go myself. Sometimes I try to basically take her every 30 minutes or so. She is completely dry at day care, but wees all over the place at home.

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