I'm at my wits end with DS's toilet habits. He toilet trained (no potty) at 22 months - dry during day but waited for pm nap to poo in nappy. Once the nap went at 28 months he started using the toilet for poos as well. At around 3.2 he's been dry at night and hasn't wet the bed since.
He started going to the childminders once a week at 3.4 years and began soiling slightly once a day whilst there. I thought he'd grow out of it. He was also going to nursery for 2 hours a day and had no problems there. He rarely had accidents at home, though once he did a poo on the floor and then smeared it all over the bedrrom. I reacted badly to this (very angry!) but he never did it again.
Since starting nursery class in September (still 2 hours a day) things have got worse. The first week he soiled badly everyday - DH was away for the first time as well so it seemed understandable that he was stressed. But since then things have got worse and now he seems lazy more than anything and is even wetting his pants. We've used a sticker chart aiming towards incentives which worked for a while but after a couple of months the novelty wore off and he no longer cares whether he gets his stickers and isn't bothered about choosing a treat after having no accidents in a time period.
He doesn't like going to the childminder even though his best friend is there because he doesn't like being there all day. He's happy to go to school and isn't having any problems but if he could choose he would stay at home with me. In the last couple of weeks, (though the sticker chart is still going), I've been ignoring it more and more and making him clear up after himself more. I've always made him put his dirty clothes in the basket and redress but now I've told him to wipe himself as well. He seems to dislike it but the problem is getting more frequent. He eats well and drinks enough and the fact that he can wake and go to pee at night and then go back to bed seems to suggest that there's nothing wrong. He says he's just to busy to go. Also, each time we've been on holiday (even skiing) we haven't even had to remind hom to go pee or poo and he hasn't had any dirty pants even though we've packed several!
Today, he soiled in his pants just before schooltime. He came home wanting to pee badly and held until we got home. But did a pee in his pants after lunch. I told him to change and continued playing with him but told him that if he had another square on his chart I wouldn't continue playing. Within 30 minutes he had done a pee and a poo. I sent him to the bathroom and told him to clean himself up. He unrolled the whole of the toilet roll and put it in the bath and continued to trash the bathroom for attention.
I know it all sounds like attention seeking but most people comment that I've done too much with him. I play with him every chance I get and at times it seems like he's punishing me for when he gets sent to the childminders or school.
Please help! I don't know how to tackle this. Things are getting worse trather than better.Any advice would be much appreciated.