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Parenting

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Original poster

How to handle exhausted children?

14 replies

padboz · 04/02/2009 16:17

I work one very long day a week - I pick up my girls at 6pm from my childminder and after a 11 hour day (where I have no doubt that they have a lot of fun) they are exhausted & usually asleep in the car on the way home. They are consequently in tears by the time I get them into the house due to being woken up and have no idea what to do with themselves. They simply cannot handle an evening meal and even a snack is a bit much when they are tired (they are 2 and 3) so they always end up with a bit of bread and butter with some cheese if I push it and a glass of milk and then its just tears and tantrums until they fall asleep.

Is there any way of dealing with this one day a week better? I miss them dreadfully all day and the evening is always perfectly ghastly for all of us.

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sdr · 04/02/2009 16:49

Sounds a very tough day. Could you drop off dinner with the Childminder so she could feed them before you get there? Then it could be home, skip bath - just a washdown, stories & cuddles. Or all of you chill in front of TV.

Dropdeadfred · 04/02/2009 16:58

is it possible for them both to have a nap, or rest time with the CM so they don't fall asleep in the car? or could the CM give them something to eat just before you collect them and put them into pjs so you can put them straight to bed when you get them home?

Original poster

padboz · 04/02/2009 17:00

thanks sdr. I've thought about that and asked the girls what they wanted but the older one is adamant that she wants to have dinner with mummy and daddy (we sit down for our evening meal every night) and I feel like I would have done nothing motherly at all in a day if I didn't feed them at least one meal out of 3 but it does seem the most sensible thing doesn't it?

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Dropdeadfred · 04/02/2009 17:01

are they both equally tired? could the 3 yr old stay up for half an hour longer if her 2 yr old sis flakes out?

Original poster

padboz · 04/02/2009 17:02

dropdead - putting them in PJ's might be a go-er - that bit is always fraught and with a blanket and big coat it wouldn't be too cold.

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Mercy · 04/02/2009 17:14

I think you will just have to re-iterate to your older dd that it's just that one day a week that you can't eat together (is that the case?)

Perhaps offer her a reward whilst she's getting used to hte idea? (doesn't have to be anything material, just extra time doing something together)

I'm sure you'll find a way, good luck - it's a long day for all of you.

Othersideofthechannel · 04/02/2009 18:02

It's a tough one. Some children are so set on routine. Could you make something special happen at bedtime that night instead of dinner eg extra story.

You could try telling them the story about the little girls who were so tired that they didn't enjoy their evening meal..... My DCs love being the star of the story no matter no rubbish the plot is

dontbitemytoes · 04/02/2009 19:36

could you put them in their pj's in the car and give them a finger food tea - i'm thinking sandwhiches/smoothies/popcorn or something fun (ask childminder to give them a cooked lunch) then if they still want to sit with mummy and daddy later and try and eat some more they can do so, but it takes away from the tiredness a little?

my dd is only 17 months so no great experience, but this is something we do with her when we have to travel at or near to bedtime, then if she drops off after tea, we just put her straight to bed from the car. Often the food in the car perks her up a little and she'll sit with us for tea and sometimes eat a bit more. One night of no bath/no teeth clean doesnt hurt too much i don't think.

HTHb

nannyL · 04/02/2009 21:42

i would think that eating after 6pm is way too late for a 2 and 3 year old

my charge is 3 years 4 months and needs to be eating by 4.30, 4.35 at the latest... or else he is too tired to eat, so doesnt eat, but is then hungry, so then even more miserable.

i agree that CM should feed them a proper meal before you get their and PJs would be good, or else go home to a nice bath then Pjs then stories and bed etc

eating with mummy and daddy 6 days a week is plenty and 6 days more than many children get

hellymelly · 04/02/2009 21:47

My dds are just four and 21 months and they also need quite an early meal,I aim for no later than 5.30.We used to do it a bit later and nights were terrible as my older girl was overtired and so could not get to sleep and it was awful.Now I get them in the bath by six and it is much better.I would get the cm to feed and pj them and then have a special "supper" with mummy just before bed,cute toasty things or some other nice tasty snack and maybe a "special" drink hot milk or weak chocolate.

bodiddly · 04/02/2009 21:48

my ds goes through phases like this - he is at nursery 5 days a week for quite a long day and gets seriously overtired. They go into meltdown at this age and don't know how to get themselves out of it dont they? I think everyone else has suggested some good ideas .... maybe rather than having a problem with the fact that they struggle to eat dinner etc, you could put a spin on it somehow and stress the fact that that particular night is different in an exciting way .... ie. pyjama party night or picnic in the car night. Sounds a little lame I know but if they see it as a treat or something to look forward to they might find it easier. Perhaps you could let them pick what they have or what they want to do to make it special?

SammyK · 04/02/2009 21:52

I am a cm, and I would be offering to put them in their PJs for you, giving them a quick wash/wipe down before hand (they can always have a bath in the morning).

I do think you should insist to your eldest they have some sort of meal with CM, you could all cuddle up as soon as you get in the door with a drink of milk and a story, sure they would both like this and it would help them if they are tired and fractious.

At least it is only one day a week!

Lazycow · 04/02/2009 22:27

ds was like this 3 days a week until he was 2 years old.

He ate at the childminder (I provided the food) at around 4.30pm.

In the early days I would be in the door with him at 6.10pm (he never fell asleep on the way home because the drive was only 5 mins -thank goodness) and he would cry

As soon as we got home I got him ready for bed. He was often asleep by 6.30/6.45pm. Bedtime routine was change, teeth (sometimes), cry with me in room, sleep. A wash/bath was out of the question as he just got hysterical.

Frankly it was awful. He did improve with age and by 2.5-3yrs old was much better but I always had to get in the door and give him my undivided attention until bedtime. If I tried to cook or even make a sandwich etc or even just pick up the post he would get really upset.

Shauri · 04/02/2009 22:45

I know the feeling well - I went back to work 2 days a week after aving my son, then after my daughter.
Long days, would leave the house at 7.30am and drop them off in daycare - often i picked them up at 6pm follwed by a 45 minute drive home.
It does get easier - son is now 5 and enjoys school and an after school club - he is fine to eat at home but daughter is 3 and struggles to stay awake so she eats at the nursery then i don't mind if she is asleep when we get home. I do try and make the most of the time with them in the morning and in the car on the way home.

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