sex and relationships education! At their pace.....always?

[london]

MY DD is 12. She knows the basics of reproduction and puberty, but I would like to talk more with her about relationships with boys (especially since she is at a co-ed school), masturbation, puberty etc. However, she is very reluctant to talk. I do understand this embarrassment - I didn't talk to my own mum about anything to do with sex or relationships. However, I'm not embarrassed about talking to DD. PHSE at school has so far covered periods and hygiene (twice: once in primary, once in secondary!), She has some books - Where do Babies Come from and Sex Puberty and All That Stuff. When I asked her last week if she had read any of the latter, she said she didn't remember! I always thought you should go at child's pace and answer the questions they asked. But what if you get no questions? What do you think: do I let her be or try and force the issue?

I think she will probably know it all already.

However if you're concenred and talking embarrasses her, just buy some books and leave them strategically in her room. She will read them even if she doesn't mention it to you.

Thanks Branflakes, but she can't know it all at 12 .....surely ??? She does have some books so perhaps she is reading them, although have just been to find one and its pretty dusty!

She might know it all at 12 - I certainly knew about most puberty/sex related stuff by the time I was 12 or 13. My DD1's (2 of triplets) certainly know about masturbation and periods and they are only 9.

Also, she may just be saying she "can't remember" whether she read the books because she is embarassed. Surely she would remember really if she had or hadn't read them or not?

Has she started her period yet? Maybe when she starts, that would be a good time to have a discussion?

london

If it helps. My parents never talked about it to me but as I lived on a farm it was pretty obvious what was going on.

I was delivering lambs out of pregnant ewes by the age of 9. My wife got quite upset with me when I went to the hospital with her when she was having our two sons. I just could not get excited as I had seen it all before - thousands of times.

Don't worry about your DD. She is probably going to school and telling her mates that you tried to talk about it to her and she will be saying "it was SO embarrasing" and they will all be agreeing.