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Playdates not sure if I am doing the right thing

3 replies

crazedupmom · 01/02/2009 17:12

My ds doesn,t that often ask for a playdate from school but I am very aware of the fact that he is an only child and that he maybe should have them.
I have gone out of my way on many occasions to invite mates home from school I do usually ask my ds who he likes in his class and then I invite them to come and play with him.
However on a few occasions my ds has played up terrible saying he doesn,t want them to come other times he is fine.
He does generally play okay with them once they are here and seems to enjoy their company.
I have always figured that I am doing the right thing by him doing this but have started to wonder if perhaps I am forcing this on him too much and I should step back.
He is 8 and most of the time seems happy enough coming home from school and having a play on his wii, ds, computer or watching telly.
I am not happy for him to always do this and never have a mate around he does sometimes play with a few children in the neighbourhood but it is just occasionally as they are not always out.
I do sometimes remind him and encourage him to go and call for people and have some time out playing.
Am I doing right or should I just let my ds decide for himself if he ever wants a to go out and play or have a playdate.
Could I suffocate him with this sort of thing if I am not careful.
I probably only really arrange a couple of playdates a week from school and I also get him together with a few old friends he knew from infant school but my ds never instigates any of this.
I have arranged for one of his old mates from infant school to come on a sleepover we have had this friend before and my ds seemed to really enjoy his company apart from the odd little argument that kids generally have.
My ds is playing up terrible that he doesn,t want him to come.
Please what do other mumsnetters do with their dc's and playdates do you just leave it be if your dc's never ask for one.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PuzzleRocks · 01/02/2009 21:15

Bumping for you. Best wishes.

lollipopmother · 02/02/2009 00:01

Oh bless him, is he quite shy? I am an only child and I can remember feeling horribly nervous at having to speak to other kids, my mum always used to push me to do it and I always hated it, but once I'd got over the initial embarrassment of speaking to people I actually really enjoyed it. Are you sure that you're inviting the right people around?

Decena · 02/02/2009 20:05

Gosh, "only" 2 playdates a week, that is a lot! I am lucky if my DD gets asked that in a term! Once a week sounds enough at the very most, I would think. Does he have any other outside activities, cubs, sports club, football, that kind of thing? Also, you say that he usually plays his Wi, watches tv etc. could you not restrict these so he can just play with his toys, if he has to start using his imagination more than he may find it much more fun having friends round to play.

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