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Parenting

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Original poster

Swimming lessons and younger siblings.

19 replies

QueenFee · 31/01/2009 23:55

Help!
I am beginning to think this is just me as people in RL give me funny looks when I say it.
My DD (4 1/2) started swimming lessons which she really enjoyed but I had to stop her going as I have to take DS who is 2 with me and he had huge tantrums every time because he wanted to swim. I feel it is unfair for him to have to sit and watch her every week but not go in. We are not allowed to leave the poolside.
They do not have any lessons at a time where there are public swims so I can take DS.

Learning to swim is important to me as we live close to the sea. I don't give DD any other after school activities.
Any suggestions how I can get round this? I have rung all the pools in the area

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

snice · 31/01/2009 23:58

He will just have to get over it! You need distractions/chocolate buttons/story books etc but you can't let him dictate what his sister gets to do

Quattrocento · 31/01/2009 23:59

My DD is two years older than her brother and I had a couple of years before they would accept him into swimming lessons. TBH we enjoyed having the time together, playing and reading and stuff. I think the problem is that your DS can see your DD in the water. Do you have to sit at the poolside? That was never an issue for us as they didn't allow parents to watch. Can't you both go outside?

KingCanuteIAm · 01/02/2009 00:02

Teach your ds that he cannot always swim/have his own way?

Seriously, huge tantrums are normal at this age because it is the age they have to learn that live does not revolve around them alone - and that is a tough lesson for a toddler!

I am guessing you have tried distraction (taking colouring pens etc)? Have you tried bribes? (as has been said, there is nothing choc buttons can't fix).

I do think it is ABU to restrict your dd because your ds throws a wobbly.

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Original poster

QueenFee · 01/02/2009 00:02

No we have to be at the poolside apparently.
He will just have to get over it He didn't after 10 weeks so I doubt he is going to change. I tried chocolate buttons. Showing him videos of Thomas on my phone butnothing would distract him.
Must just be my kids then

OP posts:

maretta · 01/02/2009 00:04

I can only offer sympathy.
I dread Mondays. My ds swims, whilst ds2, dd and I sit up on the balcony. I find it such hard work, especially the getting changed bit.

I'm pleased we can't sit poolside, there's only a balcony. Also ds2 is not a waterbaby but it truly is the hardest part of the week.

KingCanuteIAm · 01/02/2009 00:05

I doubt very much that it is just your kids, it sounds like a normal reaction - although 10 weeks does show he has a determined streak

Have you tried getting something nice for him before swimming, leaving it in the car and making sure he understands that it is a treat for him only if he does not scream through dds swimming lesson? (I am sure it could be worse for a few weeks like this as you would have to follow through on it of course!)

snice · 01/02/2009 00:07

Swimming lessons are the crappiest of all after school activities when you have a younger child-you have my sympathies.

SlartyBartFast · 01/02/2009 00:07

my were same/similar,
can your eldest wait til she is older to learn, 4 is quite young.
perhaps then time it with the youngest at playgroup??

Ivykaty44 · 01/02/2009 00:08

It's not just your kids, there are lots of kids that play up and have tantrums.

If you are finding it really difficult to keep him distracted, then wait until your dc can go along to learn to swim aswell?

Is there someone private that can teach your dd to swim - my dd had lesson in a private pool with an instructor.

Some gyms have lessons in the pool, they section one part of and the remander of the pool is left for others to swim in - could you get your dd lessons soemwhere like that where you can take your ds in the water at the same time?

luckylady74 · 01/02/2009 00:09

I haven't got this problem, but I do sympathise.
My boy twin would happily go off to football or tennis lessons without me, but because my girl twin refuses to leave my side and boy takes his lead from her, he misses out on lessons in things he loves.
There will be another parent that this happens to.
10 weeks is a lot of tantrums so I understand why you took her out of lessons.
2yr olds are very hard to bribe too.
Have you a relative/friend that could take dd with you or are there any weekend lessons that dh could take her too?

Original poster

QueenFee · 01/02/2009 00:12

I am also preg wit DC3 so don't want to put it off now just to have to go through it all again in a couple of years time.
They only do lessons after school and if I knew any playgroups I could leave him at that time then I would? Is there such a thing?
Thanks for your sypathies, I am feeling quite bad about this at the moment.

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 01/02/2009 00:15

oh dear,
sometimes they have creches.
don't feel bad.
hold off til she is older. she will be fine.

KingCanuteIAm · 01/02/2009 00:18

Don't feel bad about it, the fact is that you have tried and, when all else failed, you have come here for some ideas to try even more. You have nothing to feel bad about!

SlartyBartFast · 01/02/2009 00:22

how is youngest's behaviour normally?

daysoftheweek · 01/02/2009 00:25

we got thrown out of baby swimming because dc1 used to wake dc2 up in the changing room to annoy (dc1 was swimming).
Only happened about twice then teacher asked us to leave (someone had complained that their dc couldn't concentrate because of the noise)

Children were all of 2 maybe 3

Was overjoyed when that teacher turned up suddenly about 3 years later as a substitute and dc2 refused to get in the water with her

Clary · 01/02/2009 00:31

I take it it's half an hour.

A pal of mine struggles but that's mainly because the pool her older child is in is a deep pool (she's 8) with no wall around it, so 2yo cd just walk in.

She brings lots of tiny snacks (raisins etc) and rations them out. Also colouring or similar.

When I had 2yo DS2 the pool had a wall so he could toddle around if he wanted tho it's better if not. Again, snacks and a colourign book or maybe a car to run along the bench.

Agree quattro that I have always enjoyed the poolside time to chat, hear reading etc.

I wouldn't hold off until she is older tbh - if Ds is old enough she will be 6.5 which is a bit old to be starting learning to swim - I mean as in a bit of a shame for her, esp if she enjoys it.

Clary · 01/02/2009 00:36

My post sounds unhelpful, sorry.

What I am trying to say I suppose is that if you have 3 children (I do), they will have to get on with watching their siblings doing stuff unless none of you do anything.

DS2 does footie on a Saturday am - if DH is out for the day then the other 2 have to come along and watch/pal up with another child/take something to do.

Same at swimming, which they all do but at different times over an evening.

They all come when we walk DD up to Brownies, DS1 does his homework while DS2 does gym, in the past DD and DS2 and I sat in a cafe while DS1 did his dance class, etc etc. We have found it;s just how it has to be, unless you have very willing gps to hand.

Shells · 01/02/2009 00:55

Queenfee, give yourself a break. My DCs are the same. DS1 had to delay lessons as DS2 just wouldn't play ball (not the type to sit and enjoy books etc.- some kids just aren't). But we did do some lessons in the holidays when I had my mum to help.

And also, a swimming instructor I know has told me that it really doesn't matter what age they start. Most kids kick in with their swimming at about 6 or 7 properly and if you leave it til then its really fine.

Don't worry.

ChippingIn · 01/02/2009 01:30

QF - I feel for you, it isn't easy! I'm in a similar position in that none of the pools around here will take LO3 without an adult in the water and I can't leave LO(21 months) alone at the poolside (clearly!! LOL), so I am waiting until LO3 is LO4 in May and can go in without me. However, at that time we will still have to be poolside and LO(then around 26 months) will have to learn to watch. TBH I am not expecting any great problem with it as she is good at sharing and taking turns already and has a good comprehension level (fingers crossed anyway!! LOL). LO will have to learn at sometime that the world doesn't revolve around what he wants, so it might as well be now - but bribery is the way forward , even adults don't do things they don't enjoy doing without some incentive!! Is there a class at a different time for him so he gets a turn too - or at least a public swimming session you could take him to?

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