Is 2.5 years a good age gap between children?

[fizzpops]

I already have one child and I starting to think about when we should start trying for another one. My DD was born when I was 35 and I don't want to leave it too long before the next one as I am conscious I am not getting any younger.

Ideally I would have three or four years between them but obviously I can't guarantee I will get pregnant when it is most convenient.

Does anyone have children 2.5 years (or so) apart and are there any advantages/ disadvantages that spring to mind from your experience?

All the age gaps have advantages & disadvantages there is no "ideal" gap at all.

Our first gap was 5.5 years and was like raising to only dc IYSWIM. My favourite is 14 months although the first year was hard work! 2 years seemed a big gap after 14 months.

Biggest disadvantage I would say about 2.5 years is the potential jealousy and it's around then that you potty train. Advantages are that it is small enough for them both to enoy going to the park etc for a long time to come.

I had my DD when DS was 2.2. I m very glad that I didn't do it sooner; it would have been very hard work to have had 2 in nappies for any considerable length of time. DS was pretty independent by this stage. I'm also very glad I didn't leave it much later when I see how well they have bonded and play together now (aged 5 and 3). 2.5 sounds just right to me.

Mine are exactly this and I would do the same again.

Big advantages are that they do have similar interests when very young ie they both find the park and ball games and swimming and such like interesting together so holidays are good - you're not struggling to find completey different things to do to satisfy different age groups.

They play and amuse each other.

One is nearly out of nappies as the other begins.

Main disadvantage (but outweighed by above is the bickering and winding each other up!

My 2 boys have exactly this age gap - although DS2 is only 10 weeks old so too early to assess the long-term advantages/disadvantages of this age gap.

However, I will be honest and say we have found it really hard - but I am not sure how many of the problems we have been having are due to jealousy or just the 'terrible twos'.

We have had biting/scratching of the baby, throwing things into the cot, DS1's sleeping has deteriorated (he has always been a fantastic sleeper no matter what) - to the extent that the baby sleeps through the night but I am up at least twice a night dealing with DS1 - but I am convinced this is because the baby is in our room.

You just have to remember that although your eldest suddenly seems so grown up and big when the baby arrives, they are still babies themselves, unable to express their emotions etc - this has helped me...plus thinking constantly 'this will pass' Apparently it gets easier at about 18 months when they can play with each other.

I have 2 years and 9 days between mine. I love it. I grew up with sisters 8 and 17 years younger. It was like having 3 only children. My 2 are only 3 and 5, but they are really close, and play very well together, and do a pretty good job of entertaining each other. DD really benefits from DS being older, but not too old in so many ways he tells her what he learns at school, and I think she picks up more from him than us. She has really good motor skills, and I think it is because she has been chasing him around trying to be "big like him" since she could walk. I feel bad poor DS didn't have an older sibling to benefit the same way.

In our house, the only disadvantage was DD was an awful sleeper the first 2 years of her life, and I was exhausted and cranky the first 10 months of her life which was just plain hard. They do fight, but I don't think any more than other children we know with a slightly larger gap. I love how close they are to each other, and when one is gone, the other truly misses them. I'm sure it won't stay the same, but it is lovely now.

I don't know if it was DS' personality, or age or what, but he was very excited when she came, and never did anything to indicate he was jealous. He was very eager to "help" with DD, and always has been excited to teach her what he knows.

Have just realised that my last post came across as very negative There have been some wonderful moments over the last 10 weeks.

They both love having baths together - to see DS2 sat on his little bath support kicking and waving his arms like crazy in excitement is just lovely - even when DS1 is crawling all over him to give him a kiss . Also, the other day, I had left DS2 on the changing unit and DS1 was stood next to him saying 'I wuv you' to him - I nearly cried!! DS1 was also really proud when I went to pick him up from nursery the first time with DS2 - he was so chuffed to show his friends his new baby brother.

So it is not all bad!

I have a 2 year gap between DS1 and DS2 and it constantly delights me how they play so well together. They really are best friends. It was very hard going at the beginning though - maybe 2.5 years is better for being a bit easier at first but still allows them to be good friends. The 2 to 3 year gap is a bit of a pain for working out when you toilet train the older one - don't know the answer there!

2.4 years between dd and ds1 and 3.2 between ds1 and ds2. The 2.5 years has worked wonderfully, they played well together from the start and still do at 7 and almost 5. I'm hoping that dd will become less interested in playing with ds1 and he and ds2 (21m) start to play more and more, as they have just started to. 3.2 has also worked well, but I have to admit I prefer the 2.5 age gap.

As for toilet training I just trained dd at 2, before her brother came along.

Thanks for all those responses! Now just have to break the news to my DH!

There are 2 yrs 4 months between my first and second children and 22 months between my second and third.

The smaller gap is better ime but the age gaps weren't of my chosing even though I conceived quickly.

Got 2.5yrs between Ds & DD.

It has been fab they get on really well (DS now 3 & DD is 1)They even hold hands when in the car

Was hard work for the first few weeks though especially bathtime. DH often not here in the evening (shift work)and DS used to splash too much to have the 2 Dcs in the bath together so DD used to scream blue murder cry a bit while DS was bathed/dried etc.

Also if both Dcs wanted feeding at the same time it used to be tough.

But always found it easier so sort out the older child first and they can say what they want iyswim.

i have 2y 3months. dd2 is only 9 months so hard to tell really, but so far i can tell you the bad bit (the jealousy, oh the insane jealousy of your pfb when he/she realises the little funny thing is here to stay!). But it is so lovely to see them interact now, to see how much dd2 adores her big sis, and how dd1 loves her little sister... I do hope they will play together more and more.

I think in many ways a shorter gap would have been better (no jealousy!), but then dd1 was the world's worst sleeper and I wouldn't have survived the physical exhaustion. A longer gap, imo, just prolongs the really hard bit and the sleepless nights, plus I think if i had waited I would have never plucked the courage to do it all again- just as things were starting to be really nice and easy with dd1 her sister came along to screw up our rhythm ... . Plus they end up having completely different needs and routines and that's hard logistically.

There is exactly 2.5yrs between my ds's and it has been great for us. Ds1 was just potty trained when ds2 arrived so I stealed myself for regressing back, but it never happened. As others have said activities are easy to find that entertain them both and they are starting to play together now (ds2 is 16mths) there is fighting, but i am sure you get that with any age gap!

From speaking to friends it seems the worst age gap for jealousy is 18 months to 2 years 6/7 months ish.