DS 3.7 has lost ability to say please

[thehouseofmirth]

Until recently DS was polite almost to the point of ridiculousness. In the last couple of months he become demanding, bossy and rude. He still quite often says thank you but instead of asking for things nicely he barks orders. I always come back with do you mean "please may I have mummy..." etc and he'll always repeat it back to me but never says it wthout prompting. He's recently started following up the ordering around with a really unpleasant, and sligtly agressive, "please" which he obvioulsy feels is an improvement but I don't!

Is it just a stage? Any ideas coping strategies or ideas for helping him? Obviously what I'm doing isn't helping...

Could you try not doing what he wants until he says please? Ezplain to him beforehand that you are not going to listen to him when he shouts and /or is rude. IMO he's old enough to know that he should be using manners.HTH

my DS1 4.5 can be like this and i just ignore him or give him a 'look' and he soon adds the required please.

if he cant say it nicely then ignore

he is quite old enough to ask nicely and not be prompted

i also have a look noonbear - works well

I'd put it down to a phase. My ds did the same and all I did was remind him to say please and thank you. From memory it lasted a couple of months and no idea why it started or why it ended.

Thanks MllieO that's what I wanted to hear! It feels like a phase but it is a frustrating one. I'm not really up for the ignoring thing (just as rude as not saying please imo)and I'm sick of reminding him, especially as it's not working and he's completely capable of learning/remembering to do lots more complicated things.

I always reminded him - usually I'd say 'what is the magic word?' and that was enough to get him to say it. I now have the unfortunate habit of saying it to complete strangers too when they fail to say please/thank you .

If it's a phase then my DP is still in it, I still find myself reminding him of his manners!

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Glad I'm not alone then! I think it must be some sort of developmental thing to do with being distracted and being focussed on something else. He is still capable sometimes of being incredidibly and genuinely polite. I know please & thank you etc are just social conventions but it's so much nicer when a child wants to say it than when they are forced to. Bit like apologies really which is why I think I'm finding the whole reminding aspect so irritating.