Woudl you (do you) leave 9yo DS alone in house...

[Clary]

...for about 20 mins?

DH wanted to leave him while he went and got DS2 from footie. Actually he wanted to leave 7yo DD as well but I said that wasn't fair on DS (who is in yr 5 btw) so DH took her.

The reason was it was very cold and anyway, why not let him stay in on his own. It was a 7-min walk away and a there and back job.

I dithered a bit but in the end figured it was fair enough. After all her walks to the post box on his own sometimes, and tbh if it wasn't for the younger ones I woul dbe all for him walking to school on his own.

Yet somehow this felt different. Was it?

tbh I think I child is probably safer at home properly occupied than walking to school, crossing roads. If you trust him then you are probably right

I wouldn't because it's illegal to do this in NZ. Which rather neatly allows me to completely fence sit in your case.

I#ve left 8 year old dd in similar circs - in actual fact for a bit longer - about 40 minutes. I've made sure she's doing something engrossing that I know will keep her entertained; made sure relevant telephone numbers are clearly written on a very obvious piece of paper and told her not to answer the door. I think 8 or 9 is fine for this. I agree that leaving them with a younger sibling is different (in our case because wwII would probably break out)

twentypence really? That's interesting.

At what age is it OK if I might ask?

I have a friend who leaves her 7yo for a similar trip. That feels very wrong to me but frankly there's not much difference is there????

DS was watching The Simpsons on the TV btw.

He knows not to answer phone/door or use knives/gas cooker etc.

yes hatwoman WW3 was the other reason not to leave DD as well.

She was not impressed and screamed all the way to footie, makign DH wish he'd maybe taken DS1 as well

14 to leave them alone, and also 14 to leave them in charge of another child i.e babysitting or being left with younger siblings.

I know lots of 13 year olds who have been trained to answer the phone "mum is in the bathroom, she'll call you back" and then it's their work number on caller display when you get the call back.

i'm sure it's fine. tho mine won't let me unless he has a friend over.

Gosh really 14 to leave them alone? (14 for younger ones is prob about right imho).

Does that mean an 11yo can't walk to school alone then?

This is the grey area - they can walk to the library from school and sit their reading a book until you pick them up. They can go to McDonalds with their friends and you can pick them up. But going home and putting on the TV until you get home - that they can't do.

I wouldn't imagine that it would be rigourously enforced for a 13 year old only child - I think it's to stop parents leaving lots of younger children with a 13 year old.

I think a blanket rule like that is a bit inflexible and impractical then, really.

But of course if you draw no line it leaves parents like me dithering ...

I think they could have an age for a single child left alone.

And then keep the 14 year old babysitting/supervising sibling age.

Age 14 doesn't correspond to the way schools are organised. I think once they are trusted to be at high school being at home would probably be okay!

I have a 9 yo dd. She is v v sensible and trustworthy but I wouldn't leave her alone just yet.

I freely admit that I'm probably being PFB about that though ...and to be fair, there's not a cat in hells chance that she would let me leave her alone ...

I have just started to think about another 8 years of taking ds everywhere with me. Actually it's probably only 2 years and then lots of saying "stay in the library and be good, I'll come for you when I've been to the supermarket."

Yes. I have occasionally left my nine year olds indoors while I pop out for a short time.

We live in Norway.
Children will be expected to walk to and from school on their own from age 7.

From age 9 there are no more after school clubs, as most kids have their own keys, and will be expected to make their own way home from school, look themselves in (with a friend, sometimes) and grab a sandwich/do homework/play and wait for parents to get home around 4-5 pm.

sorry LOCK themselves in, not look

there is no legal age you can leave children alone (rem maddie) but you must leave them without being at risk

see here

all depends on child and how sensible they are

tbh 20mins isnt a long time - but def wouldnt be fair or right to leave your child to look after their younger sibling

I leave my 8yo at home for an hour or so without worrying. But then I did grow up in Sweden where children are expected to be much more mature, and he is a very sensible boy. He also makes his own way home from school. He has been well drilled in what to do in an emergency.

Would also leave the 12yo at home with the 8yo for a shorter period- in fact I no longer bother to take them when I do my afternoon trip down to the shops (usually takes about 50 minutes). Again, she is a very mature, sensible person and I am sure could get him to hospital in an emergency.

My Swedish nephew gave up on after school club at 9, which caused no stir there. I wouldn't go that far, partly for social and cultural reasons (we do live in the UK and I feel should conform to some extent), partly because my children have a great time at the childminder's- but I do believe in them as mature and sensible people.

When I was dd's age I was allowed to take the boat out on my own and frequently did so. I could bake a cake unsupervised by age 7 and cook a 3 course meal by age 9. I remember when I was 12 or 13, my little brother falling ill with a D&V bug at a school concert: I took him home in a taxi and looked after him all afternoon.

Yes, I leave DS1 (nearly 10) at home if he's ill and I have to do the school run (under 20 minutes). I leave the back door unlocked so he can get out that way as well as the front and he's been trained how to phone me and not to answer the door to anyone.

I would also do this with dS2 (nearly 8) and I think I'd now leave them for that length of time for other stuff. I'd still have to take DD with me as she's only 3.