What are your rules regarding eating (or lack of)

[milkysallgone]

If our dc doesn't eat their dinner, what do you do?

Do you send them to bed without anything?

Do you offer them a different snack later?

Do you offer them the same meal later (even cold/congealed)?

At what ages would you enforce any of the above?

I'd be very interested to know as we are struggling with this at the moment.

TIA

I mean your dc! I'm sure you couldn't give two hoots whether or not my dc eat their dinners

i let them get down from the table. don't offer anything else.
if they say they are hungry they get offered their dinner again, re-heated.

i would enforce it from around 2ish i guess? the only time I wouldn't is if I had offered soemthing new and they had tried some and said they didn't like it. then i might give them some porridge or milk before bed.

I enforce my rules from 2ish, also. DS seems to eat anything, but DD is a bit pickier. They must try everything. If they don't like it, then they need to drink their drink and can get down.

Sometimes I make something I'm not so sure would be appealing to a 3 or 5 year old, and then I'll give carrot sticks or cucumber sticks and a bit of dip if they didn't like anything on their plate. I think it is a bit unfair to make them go hungry if I didn't think I'd eat it at their age. If I make something DD didn't like before, then she still needs to try it again when I make it again. Sometimes she changes her mind.

I serve food I know they like. If they don't eat it that's fine. I never try to persuade or coax or anything like that, but I only offer milk, fruit and plain brown bread if they say they are hungry later. From about 3, I think.

DEFINITELY not the same meal cold and congealed later!

There's always something I know they like on the table - like others, I insist they TRY everything (including things they've tried before), but once they've done that they are free to eat just rice/just sweetcorn/just meat/whatever. I usually put just a tiny bit of everything on their plates, then serving bowls on the table, so they can help themselves to more of whatever they like.

I never push them to eat anything. They've ended up pretty unfussy and relaxed about food.

Our DS is 14 months, if he really doesn't eat what we prepared we usually offer him some bread as he loves that and will eat it unless really poorly or something, so it fills him up but it's not like a "reward" for not eating as it's fairly blah!

If he is just being a bit unenthusiastic, we sometimes let him have his pudding (esp. if he can see it and is shouting for it) but then give him a chance to have more of the main course afterwards, which he sometimes does.

If he's just being picky (e.g. picking out the pasta bits but leaving all his veg), we usually just ignore tbh, it usually balances out eventually.

to be honest it never happens. They always eat their meals - there are a few things they don't like and I'm ok with that as long as they try it again every now and again in case they change their mind

I would keep calm, and let them get down if they don't finish, but don't offer them anything else.

ds is 19 month - no chance of enforcing anything with him. If he won't eat, he gets given a bowl of porridge or some fruit afterwards.

dd is 4. The rule is she has to try 2 mouthfuls. If she doesn't like it, there's fruit. And that's it. She will go to bed without eating tea quite happily so no point threatening.

Certainly wouldn't serve the same food later - yuck.

Thank you all - very helpful.

my DS is 2 and eats with us. I insist he tries a bit of everything but other than that he can eat as much or as little as he likes.

I don't make him anything else if he doesn't eat his meal (unless there is a good reason - for eg I made chilli con carne the other day and it came out a bit too spicy for him).

The next meal and/or snack is a clean sheet - I'd never withold a snack because he hadn't eaten his lunch, or make him eat the same again. I don't think food should be about punishment or endurance, but it also shouldn't become a power tool to make parents jump through hoops. I have a take it or leave it attitude. As I say, he's only 2 and a half so we'll see how it pans out but those are the rules I was brought up on and it worked with us.

never the same thing cold and nasty or they will feel it is lurking and scares them and they'll never try it.

If its somehting I know she'll eat (nearly 3) but she asks for somehting else 'but I wanted pasta mummy' then I am afraid I say 'sorry this is what is for dinner' and she gets nothing else. She soon leanrs there are no options. I also ensure she doesn't get many snacks so she is ususally hungry and will eat what she is given. if there is something she really says she doesn't like (and maybe I am a bit worried it is a bit spicy etc) then I'll make sure she eats just a little bit and ensure there are enough of other healthy things around (but these DON't get brought out in responbse to her not eating what is there). I try and be very chilled about the whole thing and if I feel she is just trying to get something better I am very calm and say 'no you don't have to eat it, but I am afraid thats what is for dinner' amd calmly get on with eatin gmine. Ususaally works. The other night I made a lentil soup which turned out to be HORRID (tastested of nothing) and she ate it without a fuss!!

if kids dont eat their meal - carry on as normal - bin the meal - don't feed them anything til breakfast.

depends on the reason. if they have left it because they don't like it i clear it way and they can have a snack later (depends on time etc), if they are picking then they go without until next meal, never ever serve teh same meal again - my mum did that to me when i was little, often for a few days at a time and it has affected my eatign ever since

Mostly just try to serve what I know they'll like. If there's something they've never had before they have to try it, but they don't have to eat it if they don't like it.

If they're hungry later - well they've always got free access to the fruit bowl, so they can help themselves from that.

I'd never do to them what was done to me as a child - the some cold, congealed food served up not just at the next meal, but at every meal until it was either eaten or mouldy (or sometimes when it was mouldy), or being force fed it until it made me sick. There are still some things I can't stand the sight/smell of now as a result of that.

From about 18 months the following have applied, if a meal is hardly touched then we say eat 5 more spoonfuls, if they don't then it's cleared away with nothing else offered as clearly not hungry, but I would offer something later. If they do eat the extra (and it's often the case that they'll eat more than the 5) then I give pudding as normal.
I heard a couple of Mums in the playground discussing meals and one said how she was serving two day old lasagne as her children had refused it as thy didn't like the mushrooms in it, I think thats really mean.

Ours are older now and are fine but previosuly, when dd1 was very, very fussy (no meat, no eggs, no cheese, no "wet" food etc etc) we followed some advice I read by the poet Michael Rosen who had a huge family: if they don't eat it they may make themselves a peanut butter sarnie and/or have fruit - that's all.

For us, this worked well. Fruit she was always happy to eat anyway, wholemeal bread and peanut butter gave her fibre and protein.

Never, never, never pudding if dinner not eaten.

Good stuff. Some really useful tips here. I will aim to offer more complementary foods which I know they'll like and promise to never ever serve up cold left-overs!

I was threatened with cold leftovers as a child and also force fed both spinach and corned beef by my ma (who totally denies this now!)so I try and be laid back about food with dds but dh gets really bothered about it.I do offer a more boring alternative if they really don't want a meal and they have tried it-would give something like bread and cheese or whatever but not cook a new meal.Might boil and egg I suppose.I take the line that sometimes they just might not fancy whats on offer and I feel like that too and so I am flexible but not a slave.They are still small though (just four,and twenty months).would give a small plain snack before bed if needed (oatcakes or crackers)

There is usually spuds or boiled rice or something in the meal they can eat. Wouldn't cook a new meal. Cold leftovers sound horrible though.

They can take it or leave it, no comments made either way.

If it's something riske, I will add things on their plate that I know they will eat (but nothing exciting) - rather than offer them something once they've turned down whatever it is - so I know that if they don't eat it's because they're not hungry.

A minimum of an hour after dinner before bed I will offer toast and/or a banana.