Please allow me to have a mini breakdown on here so I don't have a real one.

[milkysallgone]

Argggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dd (4) is really getting me down. We have various issues and I believe she is a 'highly sensitive child'. Having visitors over can be shall we say 'trying'.

Have recently made a good, understanding friend who we see every week. Friend was just here and dd has been appalling! Shouting, agressive, rude - she eventually was saying "Go away" repeatedly and chucking things at us.

I had to physically hold her down to get her to stop jumping around like a loon etc when they were trying to leave. I am so mortified but mainly tired of this constant battle. Some days I really don't feel like I like my own daughter .

I have sought advice on here before about helping dd with issues and I really don't want to go over it all again - I am just feeling sorry for myself right now. I am failing my child and I don't know what to do. I got so angry just now that I said horrible things that you should never say to your dcs.

I hate myself for being so angry. She must hate me and think I don't love her. It's got to the point where I'm thinking we need some help - but how/who?? I haven't the energy, just feel as if I'm winging each day with a deeper feeling that I must be doing something wrong to make her like this.

Sorry for the self indulgent rant - I just need to express how I'm feeling.

Doesn't every one have those days? I know I do.

I know I don't always like my children but I always love them. If we approved of everything they did we'd be out of a job.

Hopefully by tomorrow you'll have had a good rest and be able to see a better way forward.

Oh don't feel awful, I too have my moments of self hatred after a bust up with my 4yo DD. I say awful things too but I don't think it even occurs to a 4 yo that you don't love her. If we've had a bad time I try to talk it through later saying things like 'I'm sorry for being so angry and shouting, but when you do xyz it makes me feel sad, etc' We usually have a lovely hug and promise to be nice to each other for the rest of the day. I'm not in a position to say whether you need outside help or not but I have found it comes in phases and a behaviour chart really helps to focus us all on what she should and shouldn't be doing. It also gives me the chance to really praise her when she is being good and make a big deal of it. We have just been through a bad phase so you have my sympathy!

Thanks. I think it just feels like I have no real way of 'controlling' dd when she's behaving this way and I hate that.

Need to stop feeling sorry for myself!

I think lack of being on Mnet in rececnt weeks isn't helping - it's nice to know others are in the same boat sometimes.

I am not suprised you are angry and I am sure she doens't hate you at all. They ALLL try it on sometimes.

You do need to work out some system of punishment for this behaviour (send to room, withhold treats, take away toy, etc) or it will only get worse - imagine what she will be capable of when she is 15 or 16. I know it's an old cliche but it's the behaviour you hate and not the child - let her know that too.

I know it's hard work but it is for the good.