Is anyone else a horrible mother or is it just me?

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

I have a 2.1 year old and a 6 month old who wakes 2-4 times per night for a BF. Both kids are gorgeous and easy and mild mannered. The older one is prone to tantrums and is unsettled at nursery and is very clingy. The younger one has discovered that he wants to be clingy all the time too. DH is marvellous and gives me lie ins at the weekend. I have it all.

Why then do I have no patience and the moment the older one steps 'out of line', I am on her like a ton of bricks?

Because, no matter if you get a lie in at the weekend, having 6 months of waking 2-4 times a night to BF is exhausting. My children are almost the exact same age, youngest is still waking similar to yours, we've all been ill and me and OH are just beat. Dead tired. Exhausted.

I've been finding the last week absolutely draining and today was just so hard. I was feeling like a ton of bricks (if you know what I mean) so ended up tickling both DDs to lighten the mood. Only because I remembered to, don't always. You are not alone (that probably doesn't make you feel any better!)

umm cause being a mother is the hardest job on the planet and they drive you slowly mad?!!! Maybe if both are clingy you are feeling slightly smoothered and need a night out?!!

Because you have 2 DCs under 3? Because your body has still not recoverd from birth? Because it is bloody hard?

Don't be tough on yourself. YOu are doing brilliantly.

And I meant to say - that doesn't make you a horrible mother. Or if it does, then I am too and I don't want to be

No, its just you ........

Sorry, I am too so don't beat yourself up.

Gosh you are not a horrible mother!!!! You are mother who is looking after 2 youngsters! Well done you...!

Ds2 is a year old and, two weeks ago, for the first time in well over a year, I actually had a whole night's sleep. I felt so different the next day that I spent a lot of it crying with relief as I realised that I am not horrible person or a crap mum, but someone who is exhausted all the time and who finds that difficult.

He hasn't repeated the trick again, so I am still up 2-3 times a night, and I just try my best. I work 3 days a week, dh is away atm.... I'm tired!!

TYAGN - i feel like you too . dd (23mo) is very hard work just now - day and night. ds (4yo) gets the brunt of it. I made myself apologise to him after an outburst the other morning and he said, 'mum, you really hurt my feelings'. i almost cried .

i keep telling myself that this is a phase and it will pass...

and that i need to pray more for strenght and patience to help me get through these tough days without permanently scarring either of my children. or my dh for that matter.

You are NOT a horrible mum, your a tired mum who clearly cares deeply about her kids and worried that having a bad day after too much sleep deprivation will affect them. It won't, things bounce of kids.
I have 3 under 4 and little one b/f constantly thru night at mo, 2 yo cutting teeth and also up at night crying for me as Daddy won't do at night , everyone wants mummy. Its hard but it passes quickly. Very soon you'll look back and miss them being so little.

I always have to remind myself to enjoy them being little but when it all goes belly up i try and think how funny it would be being as fly on the wall,'i'm trying to light the fire, the baby is screaming for a feed, toddler has done a poo and needs bum wiped, 4 year old having a fit about lack of treats in cupboard, dogs barking because door bell ringing.... its a feckin mad house, i'm thinking 'that'll be the mental health team to cart me off.....

It'll get better. Take a big deep breath next time you feel stressed, it helps me.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I am not convinced that I am finding it hard enough to warrant my lack of patience and short fuse! I crack at least once a day and that is APPALLING. Incidently - how do you handle it if your toddler insists on kicking you while you're doing a nappy change? If we weren't doing that I would get her to sit on the floor and then say sorry etc BUT because I need to see the nappy chcange through, there's no way to 'handle it'. What do you do?

i did nappy changes on my knee, any nonsense and its easy to restrain them in a kind of gentle but secure upper body lock by twisting your body round leaving hands free to deal with the legs... sounds pretty gruesome but so is being kicked in the face by your toddler. Worked for me!! Also found giving them something to hold and amuse themselves worked a treat at avoiding them kicking, and being quick helps too. Some kids just wriggle and kick tho, others fine with it!

Cracking once a day by the way is normal in my opinion.

Its hard being at home with little ones all day.

I lost it twice today, first time when 2yo dropped her bowl of cereal in the dogs bed and then when my 4yo jumped on the couch and my kidneys took most of the impact.

The cereal was just life and little one only 2, but first reaction was to shout about it! As for the jumping on my kidneys, my 4yo was immediately sorry and 2 yo lifted up my top to kiss it better. God love them.

Its hard to be calm and patient all the time esp when sleep is constantly broken but the fact that you/we worry about it shows we genuinely care about our kids and want the best for them.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Is there a grandparent or babysitter available to give you a break, even a couple of hours to go out and have a coffee on your own helps.
For the past few weeks i've been expressing milk for my lo and leaving my 3 with dp for 2 hours whilst i go riding. It really helps to feel like a seperate person again for a bit instead of mummy.

Good luck, you're not alone with this problem.