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Parenting

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Original poster

Anyone with an age gap of two-and-a-half to three years. What's it like?

23 replies

Gateau · 26/01/2009 11:48

Wishful thinking here as Im not even pg with my second DC (but trying to be !), but I do hope to be by the time DS (now 21 months) is three at the most.
So calling anyone with an age gap of between two-and-a-half years and three years, what's it like?
I need to add that after two consecutive, recents mcs, beggars can't be choosers and ANY age gap would be good. But the above would be my ideal.

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thisisyesterday · 26/01/2009 11:49

it wasn't great for us tbh.
but i do think it depends on the elder child a lot.
we had an age gap of 2yrs 9 months and ds1 really, really struggled with it

Almeida · 26/01/2009 11:50

Perfect as only one in nappies!

llareggub · 26/01/2009 11:50

Bumping...because this is the age gp I will have in 12 weeks. I also had 2 consecutive mcs.

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thisisyesterday · 26/01/2009 11:51

not necessarily almeida!!!
ds1 was actually potty trained, but tbh that was the least of our problems lol

pooka · 26/01/2009 11:52

My gap between dd and ds slightly smaller - 2yrs 2months.

Was absolutely brilliant. But a lot depends on the children themselves. dd had no issues re: jealousy really and now they are 5.5 and 3 and a quarter, they rub along together quite nicely.

warthog · 26/01/2009 11:52

2.5 years here. difficult for first 3 months but fine now.

pooka · 26/01/2009 11:53

Oh and dd was potty trained when ds was about 3 months. Not much fun but mercifully quick. (ds is a whole different story )

warthog · 26/01/2009 11:53

2 both in nappies and really doesn't bother me that much.

MauriceDancer · 26/01/2009 11:53

it's been fine for us. a minor wobble when dd2 turned up early, but dd1 was out of nappies and able to play with her baby doll etc and also watch long disney dvds during those early bfing days. and she can find the nappies and wipes when i ask her. i'd say it's a great age gap, i'm really happy with it.

Almeida · 26/01/2009 11:53

thisisyesterday - it does depend on the child. My dd was fine with there being another one - she didn't really notice tbh as I bf & carried dd2 everywhere. I'd had a m/c & then diff to get preg so hence a larger gap than others.

Original poster

Gateau · 26/01/2009 11:53

Tangent here, but llareggub, how soon after your mcs did it take you to have a successful pregnancy?

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ComeOVeneer · 26/01/2009 11:54

I have 3 between ds and dd and it worked well.

However perhaps that was because dd didn't exhibit any jealousy. SHe was toilet trained before he arrived and ddidn't regress, she started nursery a couple of weeks after he was born giving me a break and one to one time with him (she was absolutely fine and settled at nursery no problem). SHe was much more independent in terms of feeding/clothing etc than she would have been if we had a smaller age gap so the workload was def less, and she loved being a bigger sister and helping out at bath time/nappy changing.

SO IME a 3 year gap was perfect, but I have friends with the same gap and a different story, mainly to do with jealousy (which I think can be worse the longer the child has been an only child), causing regression in behaviour/tantrums/trying to harm baby etc.

Good luck

NoBiggy · 26/01/2009 11:54

It's OK I think, exactly 2 years 9 months between mine. Had troubles with naps, for a short time DD1 was still having one, but they were disturbing each other. Also DD1 would go off and wee in the corner while I was busy feeding DD2, but she got over that.

Since when, it's been OK (5 and 2 now).

Xenatheoriginal · 26/01/2009 11:55

It was the easiest of my gap (got 4 dc's 4yrs first gap 2.5 next and 18mths)

simpson · 26/01/2009 12:00

Have a 2.5yr gap and felt the same as Warthog.

DS was still in nappies for a few months after DD was born so found that tough.

He wasn't particularly jealous of baby but did revert to being a bit of a baby himself...wanted me to feed him, sit on my lap etc but did not kick off when baby was needing me iyswim.

TBH the toughest part was bathtime as DH is not around most nights (shiftwork)

DS splashed too much to have both in bath at the same time and DD screamed blue murder cried a bit when she was put on mat or in bouncy chair for me to bath DS.

However DD is now nearly 1 now and they get on like a house on fire Brings a tear to my eye when they are in the car and they hold hands etc

llareggub · 26/01/2009 12:01

Gateau I pretty much got pregnant every cycle. My memory is a bit hazy, but there was a miscarriage at the end of May, then another one, then I had another positive test at the end of August and I'm now 26 weeks. My cycles are very erratic as I'm still breastfeeding and have PCOS.

After the 3rd positive test I went to see the doctor and she told me that taking baby aspirin may help, so I took it. I've no idea if it was the aspirin that made the difference as I've no idea what caused the miscarriages. I took the aspirin until about 12 weeks when I saw the consultant and he told me to stop. He told me it does work in some circumstances, but without tests, who knows?

Good luck!

Gorionine · 26/01/2009 12:03

Had a 2 1/2 year gap here, it went really well and they still get along nicely most of the time. It was betweem Dc2 and Dc3 if it makes a difference and they are both boys. 3 years between DC3 and DC4 boy and girl and it went quite smoothly as well.

I hope everything will go just as well for you!

Original poster

Gateau · 26/01/2009 12:05

Thanks llareggub. Fingers crossed for me!!
Simpson, the holding hands bit is very sweet.

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Original poster

Gateau · 26/01/2009 12:05

Thank you Gorionine.

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 26/01/2009 12:07

2 and a half here and difficult to be honest, DD was still in nappies but that was fine, now DS is awake more and needing more doing to him, suhc as feeding, keeping him entertained she is struggling We have made the effort to spend time with just her which helsp and I know (fingers crossed) that it will get easier when he is more independent (can sit up, crawl, walk)

Seeline · 26/01/2009 12:09

Had 2.8years between mine, and have had no real problems. DS was still in nappes (was for nealry a year) but it wasn't an issue. He started pre-school 2 mornings a week when dd was 4months because 'he was a big boy now' which he loved and gave me a break. He'd already stopped naps by that stage, so I could play with him when DD slept, and she came to for toddler groups etc, and just had her nap on the move. Now they are 7 and 4.6 and, although there have been short periods when the age gap has been more of a problem, on balance I would say it has worked for me!

psychomum5 · 26/01/2009 12:42

I have 34mths between DD2 and DD3, and it was my loveliest gap.

I have 22mths, 34mths, 17mths and 28mths as gaps between my five, and the best, like I say, was the 34mths.

no nappies bar baby, routine is better, pre-school/nursery has generally been started while pregnant and also the older child has often already got some idea of babies, or can understand book on babies a little more.

oh, and you might well still have a child who is having afternoon naps which helps.

VampiresWalkin · 26/01/2009 17:52

2.9yrs here - Really like it. DD was at preschool just after he was born (labour started on her first session, so we put it off for a bit ), she was out of nappies, off the dummy. She "got" what was happening.

I looked at DS when he hit the same age though, and he seemed a lot younger iyswim, and I don't think he would have coped as well even being out of the nappies etc.

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